The BIGGEST risk of going NO CONTACT with a narcissist
No contact with a narcissist can feel like freedom—a clean break, a fresh start, a breath of peace. But there's one big risk: when the toxicity fades from view, the memories can soften too. This video explores how going no contact too early—without gathering enough “data”—can leave you vulnerable to hoovering, euphoric recall, and second chances that aren't deserved. Healing is possible either way, but awareness is everything.
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The risk is that you never know how they might react. Some may try to manipulate you back into the relationship again. Others may be even more dangerous. Becoming violent, smearing you or sabotaging your efforts to move on. If you were a good source of supply, they’re not going to be happy about you going no contact.
Hey Narc Survivor I watch your every video and live stream, you are still head above over other narc channels in deep understanding of narc abuse
I think they sabotage and smear you either way. I know my sister did during her entire life. I felt it decades ago, but it was verified when one of her best friends told me and gave me a warning. Violence is how she rolls. Luckily I am far away.
Stalking, tracking devices. CREEPY
help,after 3 years of no contact I had very bad feet problems. My Malignant Narc mom send my doormat covert dad to buy me a car to sneak into my life again..a few years later she got me arrested and smeared me because of reactive abuse. these ppl are EVIL
Mine has all of a sudden “seen the light”.
I’ve moved literally, my heart broken and healed, our family put through the wringer but finally gaining semblance of adjustment. . . and now he wants it all back.
This might be the cruelest part of it all. He’s just throwing it all back into my lap after throwing me away. How does that work?
Before I left the relationship after 22 years together, I went grey rock, and he got more aggressive. Then I left altogether, however we share a child so I was put through almost a year of court litigation seeking child arrangements issues. Thankfully I worked through the trauma and drama he tried to instigate. His emails and texts went on and on and I was able to reduce the replies to one sentence that kept it business like and only related to our child. No personal information, no defending my hurt feelings by the things said, I simply ignored him. It obviously irritated him, but I know that the peace I feel to be able to close my own door at night and not have to see him or deal with his dramamost days is SO worth it. ❤
22 years with narc that a long time. Always wonder what keep people so long with them?
Real bad narcissists do not leave you any easy way to disappear them from your life!!!
I was very lucky in that I could go no contact with my brother but tried to maintain a relationship with my nephew, it began to be impossible as he constantly would let me know how much improved his father was. I realised speaking to him was speaking to his father and I had to let my nephew go for my sanity and peace of mind, as time moves on memories do creep into my mind of the times when he seemed normal but then I bring myself back to the awful behaviour I experienced. People in this relationship cannot relax their defences, I have to be in constant alert knowing that this man will say anything and use anyone to regain the old control again.
I prepared a note that contains exhaustive list of their wrongdoing. Those people often come up in my mind and I feel bad or I think what ifs, but then I pull up the note and read for a minute and I’m immediately disillusioned. I tried so many times but it didn’t work because they never truely wanted to have a non-abusive relationship with me.
I sort of did a similar thing…. But I used the words they said to gaslight me and wrote down the truth. My dad passed away in 2018 and this has been used viciously against me. I was a complete daddy’s girl and using him would often get me to do pretty much anything… I wrote down a sentence my dad would often say that contradicts their guilt tripping. This has been EXTREMELY helpful! Not only has it stopped me from being pulled into their (mum and sister) manipulation, it has made me immovable!
This is why I sync messages to the cloud. So when my head is in a cloud, I can sync it back to reality. 😉
Oh I was so lucky! I ended up moving three hours away. It was a fear I lived with without realizing it. Me coming home from work and him being there.. the freedom I felt knowing I got away. My heart breaks for those still suffering! It’s not easy breaking away!
I moved 1 hour away and at times that doesn’t seem like enough space to keep him away. Having kids together doesn’t make it any better
@@aminamuhammad4578I do understand. They are horrible people and the damage they cause takes a life time to overcome. I pray you find your peace
But it’s worth it!!!
Their revenge is telling everyone you are crazy and those people believe him.
They don’t want you to contact anyone. Then they can control the narrative.
Very true! My narc has been whispering that I was crazy for years. When his depravity, debauchery, and double life started coming to the surface. He already planted the seed that I was mentally unwell, and shouldn’t be believed. Narcissist are demons, and their enablers who refuse or pretend that they don’t know who the narcissist is, are just as bad.
Those people, flying monkeys, are not your friends. Do not argue and play the game. Silence is superior. You don’t need them. Find a new crew. In my case the family Narc did not age well. She wore out the flying monkeys. No one pays attention anymore.
Oh dear, they are going to do that anyway.
💯 agree. That post breakup abuse is a hellscape. However, once you’ve walked through hell once, you know what it looks and feels like. You’ll be stronger and wiser.
The biggest risk is enduring the stalking, smear campaigns, and constant harassment.
Same here. My ex-narcissist is too much of a coward to try and reach out to me directly. Instead, he and his BFF ex-cop use a variety of flying monkeys in what has been (for me) a years long campaign of stalking, harassment, and veiled threats.
For me the biggest risk was when he hid in the bushes outside my apartment and tried to strangle me when I came out.
Yes! My MIL did all of those things until the very hour she died. A part of me greatly regrets that I didn’t just keep standing up to her. She was insidious and unrelenting. I think actually confronting her and standing up to her every time she would push her flying monkeys out would’ve been less stressful than letting her get away with her behaviors and lies. I’m a very honest and open person, and she did everything she could to try to paint me to others as crazy, a leach, and a bad person. She was a pathological liar, but apparently many people didn’t realize that, and to this day im dealing with the aftermath of the attack on my character. My husband was greatly abused by her throughout his childhood and has extreme trauma, some of which I didn’t find out about until after her death. Why she did to him is beyond words. I wish I could’ve said these things to her face since she refuses to stop trying to talk to use over the course of five years.
@@coleeb1892it would have been useless to try to talk to her about the abuse she caused you and your husband. It would have given her more supply to see you try to prove a point and getting frustrated over circumstances she caused.
@@ValPaxAbq
I am aware that people talk behind my back. It’s a pleasure to know that they don’t have the guts to say it in my face.
I went no contact with my entire family of origin. I ran into my sister in a supermarket parking lot and I swear to God she looked like she was going to tear my throat out. I just said a cheery “Hello, beautiful day!” and kept walking. It helped that I was looking great and she was not…. 🙂
Watch your back people.
this is all true 💯.I have experienced both and I agree with you. Thankfully overtime we become hoover proof, I find it easier now to go no contact and not get hoover, also because I have radically accepted that narcissists do not change. and because of all of your valuable advice. Thank you, as always❤❤❤
I moved out even though the lease wasn’t up. I paid half the rent so he wouldn’t be burdened financially. I tried to get my name off the lease but the complex wouldn’t let me unless he signed off on it. I told him that I knew he couldn’t afford the place alone so I would still help him, I just didn’t want to be connected to him as much as possible. For 3 months I paid rent at two places. Then I found out that he just took the money, didn’t pay the rent, and had taken off to Nevada. I got hit with an eviction notice and that’s when I realized what he did.
I let him stay downstairs because he kept saying he couldn’t find a place within his budget and that he wanted to be close to our child. Ended up moving across the continent after realizing the entire relationship was the definition of hobosexual nonsense. Something must be in the waters of Nevada. Glad you’re free of that situation.
I wrote 8 pages of abuse in the first few days of no contact to make sure I could reference the memories later. I also spoke to all his ex wives and lots of women he’s hurt and used who replay the same stories for the last 30 yrs. He is a huge stalker and has not changed according to the stories from the exes. I hope there is never a hoover but I will try to stay ready to resist the wolf in sheep’s clothing.
The post separation spitefulness was off the charts !!
This lady has helped me get through so much pain. Every time I watch one of her videos, I have a healing cathartic moment. I’m literally going to make a shrine to Dr. Ramani. To me, she deserves one. Your videos mean so much to me!
I am six months out no contact. There is still NO WAY I will have any relationship whatsoever with the individual. Watching videos like yours, reminds me why!
I did no contact because he was verbally abusive and threatening to kill himself if I didn’t get back together with him. I ended up getting a criminal court restraining order against him for the harassment and stalking that continued for months after I broke up with him. I’ll not ever have contact with him again.
They ar going after your children :/ So important they are warned.
“6 months later the narcissist reaches out….”
Why, in the world, would anyone go NO CONTACT without blocking them on social media, or blocking their phone number? My narc is blocked and deleted from my contact list (so I don’t even accidentally see their name. ),.They’re emails have been redirected to SPAM. I took measures to never be contacted by them.
The years on stalking and threats. Trying to ruin your life. There’s no guarantee they’ll ever stop. Even if you haven’t seen them in a while.