Was THIS why YOU stayed with the narcissist
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DISCLAIMER: THIS INFORMATION IS FOR EDUCATIONAL PURPOSES ONLY AND IS NOT INTENDED TO BE A SUBSTITUTE FOR CLINICAL CARE. PLEASE CONSULT A HEALTH CARE PROVIDER FOR GUIDANCE SPECIFIC TO YOUR CASE. THIS VIDEO DISCUSSES NARCISSISM IN GENERAL.
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Narcissists make us feel safe with us because they have a glimpse of charm in them
@Laura-nl8dfWhy not read the response properly?
Iâm staying because I donât have enough money to move. Californiaâs rental property is outrageous. Even just renting rooms is impossible. Plus I have a small dog and a cat which makes it extremely hard to find anything. And no, Iâm not willing to give up my furbabies, they are my connection to life. Without their unconditional love I probably wouldnât be here to post this.
I see things clearly butâŠ
Please know you are not alone. There are many of us in the same position. I was told there is never a good time to leave, but ultimately you have to make the decision when you are ready.
Biggest hugs! Youâre not alone in that struggle.
Ola.Me encontro em situação parecida,hoje tenho 6 cĂŁes idosos,os mesmos foram trazidos com intenção de me prender em casa,(creio que meu ex se encaixe no perfil de narcista comunal) eu nao tenho independencia financeira e dediquei anos cuidando de animais doentes que ele trazia dos lugares por onde andava.Pedi medida protetiva…pra cuidar dos animais ate o final da vida de cada um,e me mantenho no mesmo local em espaços separados.NĂŁo Ă© facil,e acredito que cada situação Ă© unica,dificil julgar e trazer soluçÔes prontas,mesmo que esse tipo de relação traga tanta similaridades.Trago a vida como aprendizado,desejo o mesmo pra vocĂȘ,cuide-se,cure-se,reconheça a si mesmo e tenha fĂ©,vai ficar tudo bem.
@Crismarques885. Iâm so sorry! My biggest recommendation if you donât already ⊠go back and start watching Dr R videos on the topic. Start at the beginning and just listen. Let your heart feel connection & your mind will process. You may never change your situation but youâll be fully armed. Dr R saved my lifeâŠ
Itâs the fantasy when they are really into you, tenderness, the way he looked at me, telling me how beautiful I was. The fantasy plans for life. It was being swallowed up by the best in the world. The worst was BAD. Being an empath, thinking you can fix them,,,, itâs very very very sad and hurtful đ”âđ«đ€ź
I was honestly guilt trip and financially crippled deliberately. Instead of getting a upper hand on setting aside for myself, I instead became a “partner” to a single mother. When I got married and decided to not hand out money, that’s when HER resentments and intentions clearly came out and was basically kicked out immediately a week after. My wife and I had made it clear that we were moving out months prior. Duly note that my wife just recently immigrated that time. Narcmother wanted the last powertrip and money squeeze before I had finally started my own life. Went NC and never looked back.
Good days being, when he wasn’t in the building.
17:30 âŠ.yes, yesâŠâthe buttonâ⊠he used it for 30yrs and worse worse each year. And honestly that left me in fight âto be seenâ as Dr R calls it.
We want love and connection!
Not knowing I had issues I needed to address as to why, I’m here. đïž
Seen. Heard.Valued
The one and only reason that I can continue to stay.. is that I just don’t feel like doing anything about it anymore. There is nothing else. I have just become so drained even that is just too much. I’m not sure if there ever were any good things to be honest. I was just that blind and naive.
Yep. That too! I didn’t continue to stay, but he repeatedly showed up and was hard to get out of the house.
One of the only times my own mother would touch me as a child was to gently rub my back when I could not sleep. He would rub my back daily and do it just right.
Thank you for the clarification Dr. Ramani, you’re a world gift!
Every now and then I need to listen to Dr. Ramani. Very few people understand what it means to have been in a relationship with a narcissist, especially a person most people think is a wonderful person, not the obvious types we all see around us. They tear you apart and you don’t even realise it. You start to doubt yourself and walk on eggs. I’m thankful for your work, I’m doing well now after 4 years, even if a deep sadness comes over me every now and then, but I greet these moments because I’m a human being with feelings, finally being able to let them out.
Yup. Seen, understood, appreciated.
Simple terms because Iâve lived in it 20 years but I donât have any degrees or schooling in psychology. Many many ways. They make you feel like you arenât as smart as them. They donât compliment you or give you any positive feedback to make you feel good about yourself. If you asked what they thought of your new haircut they might say something like, I donât care, I donât look at you like that anyway. You feel like you have to be who they want you to be. You canât be who you truly are for fear of being picked apart and told how what you said you did are wrong. If itâs not their idea then you wonât do it and they wonât consider it. You feel so alone even though you have a partner. Itâs like you are roommates if you are married. Itâs a sad lonely life and the irony is, youâre not alone because you have someone. They twist what you say they said to you around and make you feel crazy. They are paranoid and a secret jealous of sorts. Youâll know they are very jealous but they will make the rest of the world think they are not. Worst of all, youâll think you can change them or change yourself to make them love you and yet nothing will work. Youâll never feel good enough and youâll never feel loved. I sometimes wondered if mine hated me. They wonât be or feel like your biggest fan which is what your partner should be if we are talking about a relationship aspect of being around one. All I can say is, if you think youâre with one now, please just leave. You wonât change them, you canât and youâll lose yourself trying.Additionally, If you need to find out about a cheating narcissist; send a request to: digitalinvestigate@gmail. com
That sounds like the beginning of my relationship. He checked all my boxes. I felt seen and when trouble came being seen repeated until I forgave.
My final straw was blood. I’d been physically hurt so many times and have had more bruises than I can count…but when he gave me a head injury and I saw the blood, I called 911 and that turned out to be his final straw.
Now I developed you either hot or cold if you cold keep it moving
This added đ thank you â€
I have left the relationship 5 years ago and I still find myself missing that life . I need to listen to Dr Ramani to remind me of the reason . I often go back to the journal entries that she advised us to write to remind ourselves of the reality.