The narcissist’s SUBTLE manipulation tactics
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DISCLAIMER: THIS INFORMATION IS FOR EDUCATIONAL PURPOSES ONLY AND IS NOT INTENDED TO BE A SUBSTITUTE FOR CLINICAL CARE. PLEASE CONSULT A HEALTH CARE PROVIDER FOR GUIDANCE SPECIFIC TO YOUR CASE. THIS VIDEO DISCUSSES NARCISSISM IN GENERAL.
THE VIDEO DOES NOT REFER TO ANY SPECIFIC PERSON, AND SHOULD NOT BE USED TO REFER TO ANY SPECIFIC PERSON, AS HAVING NARCISSISM. PERMISSION IS NOT GRANTED TO LINK TO OR REPOST THIS VIDEO, ESPECIALLY TO SUPPORT AN ALLEGATION THAT THE MAKERS OF THIS VIDEO BELIEVE, OR SUPPORT A CLAIM, THAT A SPECIFIC PERSON IS A NARCISSIST. THAT WOULD BE AN UNAUTHORIZED MISUSE OF THE VIDEO AND THE INFORMATION FEATURED IN IT.
Narcissists will try anything, say anything, do anything, to get what they want from you. Your energy, your power. It fuels them. Because they are empty.
Glim Charm Vulnerability especially Covert Narcissists
My therapist recommended I watch your channel. I’m so glad she did! I would have never known I’m with a covert narcissist and would have labeled myself as codependent. Thank you, Dr. Ramani! ❤
I did not have the vocab for “weaponized incompetence” until now. I am sooo very familiar with this tactic. And yeh–I end up doing a helluva lot.
I know the martyr angle, too. Sooo tired of dealing with it.
This is when you tell them how to do it and watch them. Make them do it in front of you.
Or instead of waitng for them or asking/remining them of what they promised, you just do it yourself and then are subjected to relentless criticism for “doing it wrong” ( in their opinion) and called a nag. In the words of Dr Ramani, you can never win.
Be careful of the ones that represent them
Selfs as shy
Omg yes!
And yet they can be the most competent in the outside world, everywhere but at home.
You said it perfectly. The Jekyll & Hyde contrast between their public and private personalities is so frustrating.
Facts!
Narcissists are constantly looking to exploit any situation that could give them an up on fooling you or getting away with something cheating sneaking anything, just sneak sneak sneak, and every single thing that happens is an opportunity to exploit, they’re hunters, they’re constantly looking to gain for themselves at other’s expenses.
Like , he’s paying for a good time with my mental health. the injustice is huge.
It is a living hell to be trauma bonded to a predator who’s constantly trying to punk you out, it’s so immature and hurtful.
It is a living hell to be trauma bonded to a predator who’s constantly trying to punk you out, it’s so immature and hurtful.
It’s nothing but a nightmare to be married to a covert narcissist. It never ends. It’s horrific
Dr. Ramani I truly appreciate the details of the intricate aspects of the covert narcissism…there are a lot of intricacies to this style and you seem to help us understand each of them with Precision so we can now go that’s it!!! that’s the SH I’ve been dealing with for decades
Failure to launch!! HUGE! Then complaining about how he was robbed of opportunity to “launch” because of me. Hideous!!
It’s definitely a control game with them. If they don’t want to do something, they don’t have to explain it if it falls a part. Here’s the rub….If you do it for them, they’ll complain you didn’t do things right. Been through this for years and finally pulled the plug. When someone is USED to be managed, and that ends, it can feel like a betrayal. I had to get used to how they felt about it.
Totally this. He wouldn’t get a job. I’d send him money to help. I’d send it to the “wrong” account, and therefore I wasn’t helpful. Passive aggressive, mean as hell, critical of my every move. Glad I pulled the plug.
The narc will RUIN UR LIFE UNTIL U HAVE NOTHING LEFT IN UR WALLET…my father was right
Even more than an empty wallet, some people do not escape with their lives.
Wow. This is so spot-on for a vulnerable narc I was in close contact with for awhile. The weaponized incompetence is INFURIATING!!
I found my freedom when I found Dr. Rami to make it all sense for me. I got out of a 46 year narcissistic sociopath by polar relationship and I’ve been free for five years. Thank you Dr. Rami
It’s exhausting being around a person with covert narcissistic tendencies. Weaponizing incompetence is one of my sisters go to when she doesn’t want to deal with something especially when it comes to her kids. She doesn’t help with homework, she hates giving baths, feeding her kids etc. which makes me feel like I have no other choice but to do it because these things can’t be ignored. I feel exhausted all the time and I can’t wait to leave.
Blammed me for his cheating then when I pulled back he said “ what’s going on I am worried about you?!” And “ I cheated because you ran me off. You have been ugly to me since we met!”
Dr. Ramani, when I watched your videos and learned what a Covert Narcissist was, a lightbulb went on, alarms went off, and I finally had a word for my mother’s behavior. You talk about carrying their shame, as an only child she made it my job to take care of her needs and happiness. Perpetually “depressed” and now 81 years old, it all falls on me. Because of you, I have learned to navigate, disengage, set boundaries, and limit contact. Thank you for what you do!
4 months after leaving and I hate him more than ever. And somehow the happiest I’ve ever been