Tiege Hanley: Get your first box 40% off (+ FREE gift), and 20% off for life, at
CONTACT/ FOLLOW ME:
SUBSCRIBE To My Second Channel:
Instagram: @courtneycristineryan
BUSINESS INQUIRES: courtneycristineryan@gmail.com
AMAZON STOREFRONT:
I make a small commission on items purchased with my link. Thank you for the support, I appreciate it!
How To FINALLY Glow Up In 2025 As A Guy (Women Notice This)
7 Things “Nice Guys” Say That Turn Women Off
Dating The Bad Guy Is WAY Worse Than Women Think
6 Things Men Should STOP & START Doing By Age 30
The TRUTH behind YOUR attraction to narcissists
This Is Why So Many People Are Chronically Single
😎😍Women Love It When You Lead😎😍
Men Get THIS Wrong When Dating, But You Don’t Have To…
Session expired
Please log in again. The login page will open in a new tab. After logging in you can close it and return to this page.
Tiege Hanley: Get your first box 40% off (+ FREE gift), and 20% off for life, at https://www.tiege.com/crnice
I love the collaboration with Alpha M. Can you do a podcast or video with him ?
I think woman are doing it ALL backwards. They are focusing on a “Man” who looks good primarily in their picture or photo. When if you truly want a relationship it’s about a guy having the Capacity to be vulnerable, to be kind, be caring, having goals, put others before themselves, financially supports themselves and yes fun. So what are their hobbies, what’s important to them, do they have a relationship with their parents or siblings, do they volunteer, do they get angry quickly, are they condescending, and how do they handle their finances? Yes a primary photo lets you see just a quick snapshot of the male profile but it’s least important.
I really wish that a better term is used to replace the label “nice guys”, because all the negative traits discussed here have nothing to do with niceness. All the positive traits discussed here are in fact great people who are also nice. As a person who embodies all the positive traits shared here, I have been told by many close friends—women and men—that they consider me to be one of the strongest (empowered, independent), respectful, considerate, safest, and NICEST guy they have ever met. I feel great knowing that the inner work I do gets recognised (but is not why I do the work). I couldn’t tell you how many times I’ve know women who repeatedly find themselves in and out of relationships with ‘bad boy’ types who treat them like crap… the guys that have me feeling embarrassed to share the same chromosome code with.
I don’t know what to replace the negative term “nice guy” with but it needs to change.
Do they sell to Canada?
Your diet impacts your skin more then anything else.
A Blessed Sunday ahead everyone.
❤️
I think a lot of this nice guy syndrome is due to those guys being bullied in crucial development years and it just persists into adulthood. It depends on how the people around you (if any) support you during those years. If you don’t get helped, you start seeking validation from anyone just to combat the idea of people not liking you
Schools and teachers need to be held accountable for not doing anything when students are being bullied.
@@OneFreeMan17 as do parents. A lot of parents let things go because “it isn’t that bad” but it mentally scars children and builds deep rooted insecurities
Having parents that are physically present but emotionally distans can be the root cause of this. When a childs emotional needs arent met in the most crucial years, the child can feel like there is something wrong with it and becomes a people pleaser in adult years because they develop a feeling of wanting everyone to like them, even at the cost of their own mental health
@@OneFreeMan17And they should not punish them when they fight back, verbally or physically.
There is probably a degree of truth to this but I also think when a person gets rejected all the time, their sense of value drops and the idea that they are valueless arrives. To combat this they put good energy back into the world, try to be a decent person to find their own sense of value which has been severely eroded due to the hammering confidence takes with constant rejection. I truly believe rejection over an extended period is extremely harmful to most people.
The best thing I could have done for myself in the last few years is to simply focus on myself. I am happy and thankful with where I am at right now in my life. I feel confident and I aim to keep a positive, rational perspective on the things I do day-by-day. It’s normal to want more (believe me, I know the feeling), and I take the pro-active approach at a pace I feel most comfortable with. I still have a long way to go, and at this point, I’m going to simply enjoy the journey and the pleasures that life has to offer each day.
6:42 A provider…A protector…A sugar daddy is what a woman wants huh?
They can go provide for themselves. They wanted equality, perhaps they should practice it.
Expect now they don’t need that either. 😂😅
The 4 qualities mentioned:
1. Self-respect
2. Emotional stability
3. Decisiveness
4. Independence & passion
Thanks
These traits look very good on paper. The catch is this: Show any woman this list, and then ask “what do each of these things LOOK like?” Tell me about_______, please explain _________, can you describe_______?
Men and women may utter the same word(s), but rarely are talking about the same thing(s).
NOTHING IS WRONG WITH BEING NICE BUT
BE YOUR BEST SELF
BE CONFIDENT
BE A LEADER
ASSERTIVE
so i should be deads
That’s not true. Check emotionally stability scientifically, it’s similar to confidence and fearlessness. If you were Achilles, that brave and confident you’ll bend any woman over
This is truly a universal trait that is not gender-specific. Really nice people do not know when they are being nice because they simply do what they think is the right thing to do. Being a nice person is not like putting on a shirt and suddenly becoming a nice person.
Its called being a decent person, not a ‘nice’ one.
If you are too nice to her, she starts to see you as inferior.
There’s a difference between kind and nice. As the saying goes, “the East Coast is kind but not nice, while the West Coast is nice but not kind.”
@@GetBenched2010 She’s using the word ‘nice’ for this video, so we will stick with the word ‘nice.’ Yes, I know that the words ‘nice,’ ‘good,’ and ‘decent’ are similar but not the same. If we all start adding our own words, it will derail miles away from what she is saying.
As someone who used to be the nice person, I realize that it was deeply rooted to severe childhood trauma since as a kid I was heavily neglected and abused. Now, I’m on my healing journey with self work and therapy.
Thank you so much for sharing this. Wishing you all the best ❤️
Its took me a while to get there too. I see it now that even a used car salseman ripping you off can be nice too. Being good doesnt always come off as nice
@@CourtneyRyan Thank you so much!
@@CourtneyRyan As I’m healing from my complex trauma, I sometimes feel like many men with complex trauma have to do a lot of healing and self improvement while most women with unresolved trauma are still accepted by many men. But when it’s the other way around, many women will turn down men who are still healing, which seems really shallow on their part. But this is just from personal experience. I know both genders can be very shallow, nowadays.
I think Nice guy in U.S must be different to the rest of the planet, i think you all mean desperate door mats, thats not the same as being a nice guy..
I disagree………being “nice” doesn’t mean you let people walk all over you. And a good “ nice” man has all the qualities you mentioned. I know, because I am one 😁. You can be nice until a person takes advantage of that, then you tell them bye. It’s the person that takes advantage of a good person that has the problem, not the good guy
👏🏻 very well stated !
Results? 🤔
I have struggled with this as I have listened to a number of these kinds of episodes I think the caveat here is that don’t be such a people pleaser that you become a simp
Be a good guy not a nice guy
@radclifffawcett6924 Meaningless dross. They’re the same thing, don’t let women get away with this semantic mental gymnastics. This is their rationale for turning down decent men so they can get used and abused by toxic criminals and then winge about it on tictok afterwards
Yup, I am a nice guy. If women don’t like it then move on I don’t want you. There is always someone who will appreciate you. Do not ever be so nice that you allow your girlfriend, wife, co-worker or friends to walk all over you. This is your life and a women in it is a blessing or can be a horrible curse.
I think that’s the point she’s trying to make by basically saying “nice guy” has gotten a bad rap on the internet to mean clingy, pushover etc like you described.
Support better be a nice guy but don’t be a doormat
I’ve always been a nice person simply by being of the mindset of ‘treat people how you expect to be treated in return’. This is absolutely nothing to do with inadequacy with regard to confidence or having severe childhood trauma.
I will not hide away from the fact that my parents divorced, but this was an extremely young age and I wasn’t even old enough to witness or remember the breakdown in my Mother and Father’s marriage actually happening. My Stepdad has been there for as long as I can remember and lived with me for most of my living memory too. My Dad also got remarried around 11 years ago and on the whole it’s been a typical upbringing.
I just go about life trying to set the standard for every other human out there, be the bigger person and sort of resonate being a decent person onto others and be humble and respectful in doing so. The fact that so many women do not desire a man of higher standards is frankly a reflection on themselves and their own imperfections, laziness and lack of empathy and/or ability or willingness to try and be a decent person to everyone you come across. If someone gives you a reason to no longer be decent to them then you just no longer have them in your lives or interact with them. Basically the silent treatment, and that works much more powerfully than falling down to their level and playing them at their own ‘everyone is flawed’, ‘nobody is perfect’ games. State the obvious with those two statements, but it sure as hell doesn’t prevent you from trying to be the very best version of yourself both to yourself and to anyone you encounter in this life. If a woman doesn’t have the balls or bravery to even give a ‘nice’ guy a chance, then that’s on her.
My parents divorced when I was 3, and only now at 40 my therapist helped me to realize, that as a child I had thought it had something to do with me, and that I was the reason why I barely saw my dad anymore (only every third weekend). Mom died when I was 10, and I blamed myself for not being with her more in that last year when she was sick…I thought maybe I could have done something to help her or make her happier. Just wanted to say, kids have a tendency to blame themselves for things they don’t understand, because they only know their own little world, and mom and dad are Gods. This was the core of my need to make everyone like me.
I was of the mindset you describe, too, until I realized something. The reason why I didn’t feel like I was setting myself aside when being overly nice, caring and catering to everyone else, was that I didn’t really have a life myself to cater to. Once I started to prioritize scheduling in time to work on my own hobbies and dreams, developing new ones, and becoming more outgoing, I started to realize how much I had been putting my own wants and needs aside, to be something for other people. Most of those people didn’t reciprocate, and I never noticed, because I had that same mindset “do unto others as you would have them do unto you”, so I never expected to get anything in return; I thought everyone should do that, and that I would show them by doing that. That’s all well and good, but if they NEVER reciprocate or even reach out first or ask about you or show up to help you move etc., then you have to set yourself straight; those people are not engaging with you in a reciprocative fashion, so they are not worth spending all your energy and precious time on. Especially, if you have wants, needs or dreams yourself, that are unfulfilled. You cannot be something for everyone else, if you aren’t taking care of yourself. I now have 4 close friends and 5 loose friends, who all reciprocate about the same as I do, and they show interest in being with me, invite me to things, listen to my troubles and share theirs with me. And I have lots of time to myself and to meet new people, who I vet slowly to see if they’re worth pouring into.
You’re right about silent treatment as a test of “will they engage with me first, if I don’t”, but you have to gauge it around what kind of person they are. Some people are bad at reaching out or are incredibly busy, but are very attentive and loving in person. If they never contact you first AND do not offer anything in person, then you can either have an adult talk with them, which may improve the relationship OR expedite their leaving your life, or you can do the silent treatment thing; it’s just a very passive approach and you are the only one feeling the loss, since the other person doesn’t know it’s happening.
I would also say, that when you make sure to follow your own wants, needs and dreams, you’re much more likely to run into like-minded people, who will be a better match for friendships and relationships, and having things in common boosts the will to be reciprocative.
This is much healthier for me, and I can see that it also has a positive effect on my dating life, as I am now attracting naturally, instead of having to chase. It’s awesome!
@@UltromanTheTacoman It must’ve taken a fair bit to share this so thanks for the insight. Losing your Mother at 10 years old is categorically childhood trauma and so it’s vastly different to my childhood. Luckily both my parents are still alive at my age of 36 today. And fortunately I also saw my Dad usually once a week on Sundays and he was able to take me to swimming lessons and that did give my Mom a breather from me and my older sister.
Your point about having a life is somewhat valid and I do think this stems a lot from the luck of the draw of the family and social class that you’re born into. If money is tight (and with divorced parents it sometimes can be more difficult than for a stable family with married parents) it can definitely impact on valuable life experiences as a child (whether that’s going to different places frequently, and coming into contact with people from many different walks of life and cultures to help you become more rounded) as well as opportunities opened to you (you can basically be given more vocational and activity based classes as a child if you have more well off parents, such as having music lessons, taking horse riding lessons, going on fancier school trips, and just having more items that make a big difference to any young person’s development such as their own computer from the youngest possible age, which in today’s climate it’s smartphones, etc). Everything I’ve said there outlines a clear headstart on having a much more varied life and increased likelihood of knowing what things you like and don’t like if you get to experience a large number of different things as a child.
For me I’ve found that I’ve been discovering most things since my mid-late teens and in my 20s and 30s. I did ask for a drumkit for either my 15th birthday or Christmas of that year and I compromised for a second hand guitar and 10 watt amp (which was around £80). Kids in my school of the same age were being treated to brand new guitars of £200-£500 value by their parents for example, and I had to make do with what I had. I only went on holiday abroad for the first time when I was 10 years old (on the cusp of turning 11), to Florida and that’s only because my Nan/Dad put money aside for it to be used for it, otherwise my Mom and Dad on their own wouldn’t have been able to afford it for me. All my holidays were UK seaside holidays and even though I was taken abroad to France when I was very young, maybe 3-5 years old, I don’t remember it at all.
I just tend to think that I have developed my life somewhat later than the average person, or definitely the more well off and above average person. And so while I’m 36 now I’ve been abroad more times in the last 10 years than I have for the first 25 years of my life. It has taken time but I have had a life of my own that I am picky with and am very up front to people about my schedule and when I’m free or not free, and have been this way for a good few years now.
I disagree with the final point you make on the silent treatment when you say the only one feeling the loss is me. That’s really not the case. Women absolutely despise silent treatment too and there’s almost nothing worse for a woman than being cut out of a group or being given the silent treatment. Women sometimes thrive and often seek out drama, because they like the emotional rollercoaster of arguments and making up afterwards. If you just ignore the woman she can’t even get to the argument stage because she’s just giving you one way communication and she’ll eventually get fed up and give in. At this point you treat her normally again and things may resume as they were before. Friendships can work in a similar manner by way of the other friend not knowing what’s going on in my life because they haven’t been in contact with me enough to validate them as a good friend. If the next time I meet I’m having to fill them in on 3 months worth of events, trips, things I’ve done, etc, that’s really not a good sign! If there’s a roughly equal effort on both my part and their part then I’m happy.
But yes I’m happy to never post on social media and reserve all the good goings on in my life for people that choose to take an interest in me and if you don’t reach out then you’re going to miss out and be jealous of the friends I actually am sharing my life experiences with. That’s the point. They absolutely do know it’s happening when you’re then spending more time with other friends than them and if they want to be your friend again and/or be at the same level as the friends you’re spending more time with then they simply have to up their game otherwise they’re going to keep missing out. It’s very tactical and I advise you to try it yourself sometime. The only way people can know what is going on in my life is if they talk to me in person face to face, on the phone, or via direct messaging.
Mutual interests do allow you to meet like minded people and that’s pretty much common sense. But I’m afraid with dating it’s never that straightforward. Yes you might have one interest that matches but it still by no means implies you’re a great match. Your values and political views may be completely unaligned. Your preference on the future with regards to marriage and children might be polar opposites. You might just have different vibes completely and just not really get on that well outside of the said activity. The activity is great in the moment while it’s happening but it’s all the other 99% of the time when that activity isn’t happening that tests whether you’re truly compatible with someone. Additionally, people can and do change, as can their interests. Some people can get bored or fall out of love with interests and/or are the type of people to just continuously try new things. How would you go about matching with them if you’re so deeply passionate and devoted to this one particular interest which they then walk away from after 6 months? I often find that interests are just an excuse and a cover for people to meet partners because people don’t have the balls to go up to people on the spot anymore and state their intentions. Women think it’s needy and creepy if any guy walks up to them and claims he finds her incredibly attractive and wants to get to know her more. He has to play it cool and use flirting and body language to slowly heat up the interactions and I’m sorry but I’m your 30s and beyond this just gets extremely tiresome to do and I’d honestly prefer just getting straight to the point and stop wasting time.
There’s so many variables to consider in the whole topic of dating and as we can resoundingly say here, the aspect of being a nice guy or not is a FRACTION of what an entire guy has to offer and what he brings to the table. There are plenty of traits and phrases to describe women which are negative overall, but again these don’t on their own define them. And for the most part, the majority of men would be willing to look past them as long as she satisfies the majority of other things he is looking for. Women just can’t seem to do this, and they operate in reverse. If a guy gives a girl an ‘ick’, for whatever reason she ‘feels’, she then writes him off entirely, EVEN IF 99% of everything else about him might be absolutelyn perfect for her, in her strange way of thinking, she cannot reconcile that 99% positive and 1% negative is actually an overall GREAT guy!
Years ago if you treated a woman like a Queen she would treat you like a King. When you treat one like a Queen today she treats you like a servant. My how times have changed.
Treating a girl like a queen is considered needy, many prefer being treated like trash by guys who seem to make for a challenge.
If you treat them like garbage, they’ll treat you like a king. I’ve seen it many times in life in other people’s relationships.
@@GyobuTheDemonOniwa Happens all the time. It’s quite sickening. Then these men try to bring that same energy into other people and get a reality check real quick.😂
I find the ” Nice guy card” is brought mostly so women can reject decent guys that lack swagger/ritz/looks/money or whatever they are truly attracted and don’t look shallow or superficial by admitting.
👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻 perfect quick explanation !!!!
I agree
Nice guys are basically guys who are compliant, and pushover.
Neither of the traits she lists has anything to do with swagger/ritz/looks/money. They are the real indicators of a Nice Guy.
“Nice” guys can have these traits too. I get what Courtney is saying, but a lot of good nice guys get a bad rap because women on the Internet hook up with what they think are nice guys (in other words, bad judgement) but they are just creeps or players masquerading as a nice guy. Then complain that these nice guys are creeps. They were never a nice guy to begin with and the women dont want to admit they made a bad judgement call.
Exactly, they are always being fooled by the fake nice guys, so they trash all nice and good men and trust none of them now. Because they can’t seem to tell the difference. Also they wrongly equate nice with being weak.
Unfortunately our current culture seems to equate “nice” with “weak”. You can be genuinely nice, strong and independent. One of my favorite quotes is: “Don’t mistake kindness for weakness” – Larry Hartsell
One of the most significant things my girlfriend in high school ever told me is that certain girls like mean guys or bad boys because they actually crave the attention from their friends, sisters, and family when the guy does something wrong. They are willing to take that sorrowful attention over the negative activities that the guy partakes in. I would say this to dudes, be careful of a girl who is attracted to you because you are a bad boy type; if the relationship progresses any significant amount you could be the one left wondering, and not understanding the position you eventually find yourself in.
Girls literally say they prefer toxic over “boring nice guys”
I have seen situations where an unattractive, boring guy has an attractive girlfriend, one of which is where they are both in a social set of some kind ( religious, family back ground, financial, cultural, political etc.) and have a greater dedication to the group than each other.
That’s how you know they’re not smart enough to be relationship material. They’ll wake up in their 30’s wondering where it all went wrong.
I am a very nice person. I don’t any issues with self respect, being decisive or any of the things Courtney mentioned in this video. It’s called being a gentleman and having class and manners. I’m also very successful. I can’t tell you the amount of women who when we were in high school and college would look past me but now desire to be in a relationship with me. If you’re weak then yeah change that. If you’re a nice guy, gentlemen with class and manners then keep being you. These women out here aren’t changing who they are to accommodate you in any way. Let that sink in.
I’ve discovered that I don’t generally neatly “fit” into all these boxes women keep trying to make for guys. I, too, am a gentleman- but as my dad says: “You still give off a ‘Don’t F with me vibe”. I guess that’s a mix of combat, lived life experience, and my natural personality.
Having respect for yourself is walking away knowing when a woman is talking nice, but has no intention of being with you.