What YOUR JEALOUSY does to the narcissist
NORTH CAROLINA RETREAT
November 1-3, 2024
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They treat everyone else good except you. We’re jealous unnecessarily.
All another lie
Exactly!!
Most definitely 🎯
😊 exhausting
My late husband would trickle all the information over a 2 month period. I felt like there was more. He was so sinister about it. And he smirked when he told me that he purposefully tried to make me jealous and laughed that I bought his “lie” but I don’t think it’s a lie what he told me.
Our marriage therapist doesn’t thing he’s a sociopath or narcissist because he “cried” about hurting me. He put on good shows for others.
My mother is jealous. She was pretty awful to me. And wouldn’t support me emotionally ( I was an adult so I didn’t expect financial but my father in law paid for my quarter) going to college. But supported my brother emotionally and financially.
This is the most horrible feeling I have felt in my whole life …. It’s sick …and they are sick people to do that intentionally to someone who did not deserve it atall .
They sabotaged you because they’re jealous of you. Like please explain your sick butt !
I agree. It was such an awful feeling. The worst!
I wasn’t jealous. I had been in a form of relationship, where one /and others intentionally tried to make me jealous.. when that didn’t work, the smear campaign kicked up, and the triangulation began. I really don’t like people whom seem to like to control other people’s affections, especially when there is a natural bond by love( mother daughter relationship). Also, on the flip,( others.) control other people’s views in trying to block others from reaching their goals and maintain successful relationships. Clear sign to me of something abnormal. Not just jealousy. I now stay away from toxic people with signs of deep-rooted issues!
Once i understood this game. I had to ho through a lot of self knowledge. Than i understood they provoke those feelings, like many other sensations and reactions. I’ve seen men and women play those”dirty games”. They bring u nowhere, but they seem to need it. Once i see it, i emotionally am gone. Still find it very sad for all of us. It’s just not a way to get to significant places of trust between persons.
Sobad sosad
No Ma’am i will not allow a narcissist to pull me into negative emotions such as jealousy. Narcissists play the victim card very well. If you don’t constantly worship them, they will think you are jealous.. Narcissists are too emotionally needy to ever be independent. and that will drain anyone who is in a relationship with them. they need constant affirmation and use words like ‘kindness’ to guilt you into falling into their trap.
Dr Ramani, your knowledge is clear and without any doubt so helpful.
It confirms so many things and thoughts i’ve had in the past.
With this, i finally know i am not alone with what i think i saw and felt and mentioned.
Mentioning this was generally met by calling me to sensitive or half crazy.
I almost thought i actually had a problem.
Now i know i don’t and didn’t.
Thank u so much. This is good psychology. Wow. Eith u i like psychology again and my interest in it opens up again.
For me, jealousy is not the issue. It has to do with respect, decency, accountability, and honor. Thanks for educating all of us dealing with narcissist people in our lives.😊
I could not have said this better!
Agree @@nichollejones5917
I have found myself jealous of my narc’s friends relationship with other women. I would think why can’t my nark treat me as well. When I bring this up I was accused of being attacked to his friend. A no win situation 😔. I realized that I do deserve to be treated with love and respect just like anyone else. This was one of the deal breakers in my eyes. He just didn’t have it in him for me at least, to see him with other women didn’t make me jealous, it was the difference in the way he treated them compared to me. I’ve been faithful to him over 40 years it’s time to start not worrying about how I can change things or make it better. I deserve to make myself happy, jealousy will eat you up inside and I deserve better. I’m getting there slowly but surely. Thank you for all your advice.
@@nichollejones5917 thank you! I don’t comment often, but I do read many comments- I find it supportive and helpful😊
My ex husband did this to me ALL the time. Would blatantly eye up other women right in front of me and turn his head to keep looking that I thought his neck would snap. I found it so rude and very immature. He would also flirt with women right in front of me. That’s why he is my ex. It’s disgusting behavior just to feed his ego.
The behavior is unattractive and crazy
@@TheMedic68 I would try a Catholic Church I think divorce is awful. A lot of what he’s missing is maybe god
@Smartbeautifulawesome As you’ve learned from Dr.Ramani, it’s way more than just not knowing God. I tried for 33 years to open his heart to God, but I learned just like being narcississistic that would never happen. He mocks and argues anything to do with any religion. There is no belief in the Bible. For him, it’s just a fantasy storybook. I am fine divorcing him, I wish I woke up sooner. I’m just thankful for my three amazing children. What he chooses to do with his life now is not my problem. Radical acceptance 😌 ✨️ ☺️ is tough but required.
@@TheMedic68 oh wow. Your story is so similar to mine. The list goes on and on of the things he has done to me but we divorced about 10 years ago and I dealt with the manipulation for years afterwards until I just completely cut him off. We have very minimal contact these days and only regarding the kids. One of my kids hasn’t spoke to him either because of his narcissistic abuse in several years. So sad really that they don’t see the error of their ways.
When you pretend that they haven’t made you jealous.. they get so mad and try harder to.
They will deliberately try to evoke jealously. So, Petty petty petty! Thanks Dr Ramani ❤
They love getting a rise out of us!
Thank you ❤
I’m currently financially dependent on my narc partner. Awaiting a job to come through. He has no respect for me. I know he is cheating on me. Now he keeps to himself and ignore me. He shows me I’m not important. Now, I’m ignoring him. I’m showing him now that he doesn’t matter. I don’t show emotions infront of him. I cry in the shower. I refuse that he sees me upset. It can be hurtful and stressful at the same time😢
Hugs to you… Some day you’ll hopefully be free
I wasn’t jealous, but so hurt that everyone else got more attention than me and was always more important than me. I was told I’m his queen and his best friend, but never ever felt like it or got treated as such. Everyone else’s opinions mattered more than mine and I never had a say in important matters. He’d talk to his family or friends 1st. Always. If we had our time, our time would be cut off because someone else was more important and everything was always an ’emergency’. But he would never cut off other people to spend time with me. I always felt out of the circle, but then told I am the circle. Ye ok. Always felt sad and guilty to leave the family, but none stood up for me or ever really cared about how I was and how I was doing. If i just mentioned that our relationship was a bit rocky, I’d get told to just divorce him then. I never brought up divorce, but they would bring it up for everything. I was always like doesn’t anyone just talk anymore to try figure things out? Nope. I got the title of wife and love of his life, but never actually got any say or power in the relationship. 😂 In the end I didn’t care, I actually wished he could find someone else, even said we can have an open marriage. 😅
He lied about everything and cheated and I sensed this. Of course I experienced feelings of jealousy. He emotionally discarded me. I discarded him. The best decision I ever made.
I’m so happy I made productive decisions about my finances that changed my life forever. I’m a single mother living in Melbourne Australia, bought my second house in August and hoping to retire next year at 42 if things keep going smoothly for me..,
OMG this is so spot on!!! If I had known what gaslighting was, I could have saved myself so many years of wasted time! Now I am SOOO glad I can trust myself, my intuition, my 6th sense, my sanity, my peace of mind. I love me! 😍
Me too! My intuition was right every time in my last relationship with a narc.
I was ssoooooo jealous when married to the passive aggressive covert narcissist ex husband. And he knew it. And played it. I didn’t realize he was loving every minute of my discomfort.
So much compassion – your talk has brought much healing from your understanding and support. Thank you