The Narcissist’s Favorite Time to Attack
Have you ever noticed that a narcissistic person seems to pick the worst possible moment to start a fight, act wounded, or make everything about them? It may happen on your birthday, after good news, when you are exhausted, or when you are already grieving. In this video, we’ll explore a painful narcissistic abuse pattern that can feel like it comes out of nowhere—and why it can leave you feeling so shaken.
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DISCLAIMER: THIS INFORMATION IS FOR EDUCATIONAL PURPOSES ONLY AND IS NOT INTENDED TO BE A SUBSTITUTE FOR CLINICAL CARE. PLEASE CONSULT A HEALTH CARE PROVIDER FOR GUIDANCE SPECIFIC TO YOUR CASE. THIS VIDEO DISCUSSES NARCISSISM IN GENERAL.
THE VIDEO DOES NOT REFER TO ANY SPECIFIC PERSON, AND SHOULD NOT BE USED TO REFER TO ANY SPECIFIC PERSON, AS HAVING NARCISSISM. PERMISSION IS NOT GRANTED TO LINK TO OR REPOST THIS VIDEO, ESPECIALLY TO SUPPORT AN ALLEGATION THAT THE MAKERS OF THIS VIDEO BELIEVE, OR SUPPORT A CLAIM, THAT A SPECIFIC PERSON IS A NARCISSIST. THAT WOULD BE AN UNAUTHORIZED MISUSE OF THE VIDEO AND THE INFORMATION FEATURED IN IT.
My Mom replied to my engagement with “I know” and carried on doing dishes. That’s when I knew something was wrong, why during the happiest day of my life she couldn’t even be happy for me…brought it up even and she didn’t apologize only made herself more of a victim. They don’t change.
my mother is the same, she doesnt care for anything with me, even if I will survive or not, that was my clue to wake up from the lifelong brainwash
they love misery, because they live in misery. misery, and hate.
My appendix burst and I went 10 days without knowing. Ended up at the hospital with less than 24hrs to live. Day 1 of being in hospital, my fil (who we were staying with to help fix his house to sell so he could move in with us when we purchased a home) lost his home and we were evicted. My parents let us move in with them until I was better. My mom never called, never visited me in the hospital, and then, later on, made fun of me for calling and crying, asking them to help us with a place to stay. I was so drugged up I don’t remember the call at all. But she does. And she enjoys bringing it up in front of extended family and laughing at me for it. I’m not normally a crier. Now it’s even worse because of her.
@l.r.8573 OMFG bro I am so sorry… I hope you went no contact with her after you got better…
OMG 💯 agree as this sounds like my mother, the biggest attention seeker. She cycles between absolute rage or sulking. Treading on egg shells and appeasing her is exhausting, when you are stressed and need helpers.
They don’t mind insulting you even on your birthday, just to get attention.
My dad would insult me and my customers. I ran a small computer repair business out of my home. He would bumble down the stairs and tell my customers they should go somewhere else because I don’t know what I’m doing. The customers would tell him they have seen my work before and heard through word of mouth. He says he doesn’t know anything about computers so he knows what he’s talking about. He’s “had it all figured out ever since he was 16 years old!”
He would then insult both me and my customers by saying we don’t know what pen, paper, or a to-do list is. He would pull out his to-do list and wave it in their faces saying, “I have a to-do list!”. If a woman he would say vile, disgusting jokes about them. Then start talking about how smart he and his generation is because of sex, drugs, and rock-n-roll man! Then start talking about how smart he is because he huffed different types of glue for a different high. Also good ol cocaine and LSD.
I can hardly believe it happened once, much less multiple times. Same stupid script. The most unbelievable part is how many people would justify this insanity because “he’s your dad”.
its quite the learning experience, when one looks back upon it all. i will always say, the absolute worst part of dealing with one, is not truly knowing, what a narc is.
My brother told me, “you have to have a heart of stone if J__ *his golden child* can’t make you smile.”
Three days after our father died.
Sending love and healing to all narcissist abuse survivors…..
Thanks!
Back at you
❤
At my wedding, my brother sulked outside, in clear view of the open church, after telling his toddler to run around the church shrieking during the ceremony.Great echo. The child Told me.😮
This 100% my exhusband! Married to 18 years of living hell. Birthdays would be sabotaged but basic things like sleep were not allowed because most night at 11 pm he would start a fight. I’ve been divorced 14 years and living my best life!
You’re my hope..34 years in, he’s a Police Lt.. used to total control. He’s discarded me 10 months ago..but won’t let me sell my car, boat or home..his name is on the registration and Title. I’m praying for divine intervention. Enjoy a SPECTACULAR LIFE!!
Why were you married for so long why didn’t you get a divorce sooner?
I am the “crazy” person always waiting for the sucker punch. I can’t even make friends anymore because I have been blindsided too many times and everything is a trigger and no one wants to deal with me. I don’t want to be like that and wish I could just relax, but I can’t, even after years of good psychotherapy. These people really do some serious damage to others.
Try to meditate and to change your environment.. Try working out or whatever feels good.. Even if things didn’t seem to get better before, it’s never too late to start over and try again. Have a break but keep trying. Good luck
I’m 27 months out and it’s sometimes feels like yesterday I get it
Club Hypervigilant I feel your pain Just had another dose of narc abuse and my cortisol is thru the roof. Get a lifestyle if you can- exercise eat right try to sleep better peace comes gradually and ya know what ? Better friends take the place of worse ones.
Oh my! You are telling my story I lived for 24 years. I’m so glad I finally found my way out. It’s taken me almost 4 years to heal and understand what I was living in and my choices made. My situation was also domestic violence and a lot of time I didn’t have anywhere to go or couldn’t afford to be on my own. It was a living nightmare, but I am happy now and if anyone read this and you’re living in this nightmare now find a way out as soon as possible. This man just , my health is suffering because of the years of abuse.
And just so you know doctor, you have been part of that healing process for me so I thank you for the work that you do and put out here for people like me thank you thank you thank youz
Oh my ever-loving God. THIS was my life with my now-dead spouse. He refused to attend my son’s wedding. He ruined my birthdays every year. He totally wrecked the weekend at the Daytona 500 because the tickets were a gift to ME from a business associate of HIS who learned I had never been to the races. He spoiled our trip to my son’s best friend’s wedding–he was like a son to me having grown up with my son. He humiliated me repeatedly in public. I went “No-Contact” and filed for a divorce. He had an abdominal aortic aneurysm DURING MEDIATION!!! He died 4 painful days later and I inherited everything….he had been telling people that I was trying to take him for everything he had. God said, “So Be It!”
they destroy everything/everyone, they come in contact with. they also embrace self destruction. their hate runs so deep, that they really do hate themselves. its a form of willing, self punishment. took me a while to figure out, and come to grips with this one.
Oh wow, an uplifting narcissist story?! Awesome!! Good that you got everything after all he put you through.
This is awesome!!! 😂
OMG 😮😅🤣 Great happy end 🎉 Wish you wonderful years ahead!
My dream…enjoy!❤
Right after getting married I asked my grandma, if she liked the wedding. She told me that the hand-sewn wedding dress (which I designed) looked awful and that if she had known before how I would look, she would have bought me a $ 50 wedding dress from the shop nearby. I told her (in shock after this sucker punch) that I was surprised by her words, because the gown was inspired by her wedding dress (the A structure and high neck) because I liked it how she looked. She went silent. But it hurt me 💔. Now I am always on high alert when I’m with her. Dodging/grey rocking. I am never vulnerble with her and she is trying so hard to get my attention and energy. She’s living a sad life.
The medical emergency thing happened,I sat there stunned as they went on,I went no contact for a month,but that was before I found out about how narcissists operate,If I had known I wouldn’t have given in one more time.
Narcissistic people love to ruin the holiday/event/gathering. Usually just before or on the day. Rarely after. 😮
My father decided to destroy our family on Thanksgiving.
The only time we had ‘nice’ holidays was when my golden child brother took over as top family narcissist and they all became about him.
Every. Single. Time. Like clockwork .
Why is this so relatable and accurate 😭😭😭
They have no gratitude, no peace, no real empathy. They cause chaos, confusion and shame and blame everyone. Finally, at 66 year’s old I’m awake and see clearly. They’re only happy with the destruction of you as a separate sovereign healthy person. The only way to survive and thrive is to cut them off, get them out of your life. Don’t look back.
My narcissistic mother made sure to ruin my first day ever of my career, where I worked really hard to get that well-paying job. She was just shouting at me like a mad person for how I was looking (I had dressed like a very average person going to their first day at work) – she had to make rude comments at my hair, my appearance (which she did all the time) , asking me to „get out of the house „ long before it was even time to leave , and made sure I left the house crying , somehow .
Just pure evil!!! 😈
Classic narc. I am so sorry. Been there done that.
She was angry that you were leaving and going out to work and have a career, and you wouldn’t be around all day anymore to give her narcissistic fuel. You go live your life and don’t worry about that woman.
you unlocked the narc worst fear: that the supply will thrive and Leave.
Sadly, it’s proof of your real success and accomplishment.
they always go for the weak, or what they perceive as weak. just like any good criminal.
100%
My wedding and the birth of my child brought out my mother and MILs’ claws.
i will always say, the absolute worst part of dealing with one, is not truly knowing, what a narc is.
Agreed
Yes! Once I figured my ex out, there was no turning back.
Indifference is the only defence. It drives them nuts. Any ‘reaction’ is fuel for their sick supply. Go grey rock.
Damn, I am so triggered right now. This was my life for YEARS!
At least you know that it was them, and coming from them, and not your fault. 💞
Been through every one of these things, even the funeral one, even after the divorce.