PRIMARY vs. SECONDARY narcissistic supply
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November 1-3, 2024
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DISCLAIMER: THIS INFORMATION IS FOR EDUCATIONAL PURPOSES ONLY AND IS NOT INTENDED TO BE A SUBSTITUTE FOR CLINICAL CARE. PLEASE CONSULT A HEALTH CARE PROVIDER FOR GUIDANCE SPECIFIC TO YOUR CASE. THIS VIDEO DISCUSSES NARCISSISM IN GENERAL.
THE VIDEO DOES NOT REFER TO ANY SPECIFIC PERSON, AND SHOULD NOT BE USED TO REFER TO ANY SPECIFIC PERSON, AS HAVING NARCISSISM. PERMISSION IS NOT GRANTED TO LINK TO OR REPOST THIS VIDEO, ESPECIALLY TO SUPPORT AN ALLEGATION THAT THE MAKERS OF THIS VIDEO BELIEVE, OR SUPPORT A CLAIM, THAT A SPECIFIC PERSON IS A NARCISSIST. THAT WOULD BE AN UNAUTHORIZED MISUSE OF THE VIDEO AND THE INFORMATION FEATURED IN IT.
They need new supply all the time. No amount of supply is never enough.
True! They need backup supply. They also love to triangulate people and create drama. With extra supply they can really mess with everyone’s heads! LOL
Plus they easily bore.
My advice to dealing with a narcissist…..GET AWAY AS SOON AS POSSIBLE. If you wait too long, you will feel their wrath if you attempt to leave. It will be all your fault and they will attempt to turn people against you. Give yourself time before to commit to anyone you meet. These people are dangerous. With you being the only person who knows the right person behind the scenes, they could be scared of being exposed. They are good at playing the victim and may have people wanting to harm you or dislike you and you will not even know it.
Yes
I saw this happen. The wife started the divorce process and this guy could no longer keep up the act anymore. The smear campaign was horrendous. I didn’t realize a person could be that two-faced and manipulative for so many years. I thought that was just Hollywood villain stuff. Boy was I wrong.
So, just out of curiosity, this person who kept bringing up Harvard, he didn’t happen to be named Dr Frasier Crane, did he? 😛
That’s literally everyone who went to Harvard
I work at Costco with the new membership scanners. A guy with a Harvard shirt couldn’t figure it out 😂
Another excellent tutorial from a true expert and health professional
@@AvaJulani she’s the best
Thank you so much for all your help and empathy ❤
I married a person so my my narc mother could get secondary supply from my in-laws.
Wow! Dr, you nailed it!!
I heard as soon as the wedding vows were exchanged, the spouse becomes the secondary supply. Right after honeymoon, everything changed
That makes so much sense.
Totally understand experienced this for (5) years, moved 500 miles from the Adult NARCISSISTIC Step Son, still the Bastard M/F demanded money to buy his wife gifts and cover his gambling losses. Had to go nuclear and at least it slowed down, but my wife or his mother still covered his gambling losses. Totally, stay away from him now. Total cut-off!
Yes I become secondary the day we got married… divorced him 4 months later
That makes sense…my dad was secondary supply😢
Marriage lasted 3 years, I had to call police one night, I was scared, after they left, he told me to get our 7month old and get the f out that he didn’t want me there anymore. I left in the morning and filed for divorce that day.
Cut off the supply. ✂
And whatever else 🤭
@@amandaliverpool3374 Yes.
Dr Ramani, please do a vid on the “Venn diagram” between narcissism and Munchausen by proxy.
This was very interesting and enlightening – especially how they can use an affair to get supply and take their partner down a peg at the same time,
This is one of the best videos ever . The secondary supply is a topic no one talks about .
HG Tudor has good videos on this topic actually.
You are a Life Saver and Sanity Saver Dr. Ramani , no telling how many individuals out there are now able to restore their lives one small step at a time
Yes & I’m one of them,I just new I was losing my mind it’s the most scariest feeling until I found Dr R,now I’m healing & continuing to learn as I can about narcissist, I was clueless.
I cannot believe this topic came up today. I ran into a former colleague the other day whom I had not seen in decades. We are both retired. I walked away feeling uncomfortable and I did not know why. Now I realize that despite not seeing me for decades, this person did not ask a single question regarding how I was, what was I doing etc. His only remark about me was “Oh, so this is where you hang out now” He then proceeded to go on a monologue about how the university had to contact him for info (basically pointing out how important he had been), a history of who had held that position before and after him etc. In fact, he did not say a single thing that interested me and seemed irritated when I interrupted his monologue to even ask a question. I walked away feeling the same feelings I always had when I worked there – I was invisible. Now I understand his position at the university was a secondary supply.
Time reveals all. Eventually, you start to realize that these people have nothing interesting to say.
This really helps to understand the envy of the narcissist.
Yes, that was my mother. She married someone with somewhat of a name in his field. But, suffered terribly, through being an unnoticed trophy wife. This is especially difficult, when you marry someone with some notoriety, who can’t find their way around the block, otherwise. So, you can end up also doing everything they can’t or won’t, like a little helpmate, when you may be smarter and more talented. Add to it, that he didn’t want her to get her PhD. So, her life turned out, in the service of his, including caregiving, when he became terminally ill. She was absolutely desperate to be able to breathe, in her own right. But, because she’d also decided to still prop up the dead, she stuck with him. It ruined what she thought of herself and she turned on me, her eldest daughter, probably, as the reason for ever being married, the first, second and third time.
This is why I’ve not always thought that narcissism was nature/nurture. That people go through life’s disappointments, gritting their teeth, while others tell them it’s no big deal, that they put in tons of work, simply to have life become a steamy pile. While I don’t condone how my mother treated me and still have no guilt about going no contact, as my life is worth something to me, too, I get it. I know what it’s like, to be surrounded by people who aren’t going anywhere and who want to ensure you don’t either and I’m aware of the setbacks I’ve had, because of my response and rumination of, “OK, so how am I going to navigate and exit, the next person, so I can move ahead.” It is Sisyphean.
It is such a miserable existence if you are never grateful or happy for what you have.
It’s always insulting the way they discard people. This is
what people mean when they say It’s a blessing in disguise.
This video is Awesome. I like how you make so much sense out of you’re research and others, Doctors research along with you’re life experiences in dealing with narcissistic clients to family. Dr. Ramani, you’re Awe-Inspiring! I love that about you.
The ‘never enough’ is a bit scarier … because there’s never enough you can do … never … don’t try. walk away. don’t explain, walk away.
The same reason that made the narcissists want you in their life (as a partner, employee, mentee, friend, follower, whatever) is the exact reason why they will envy, hate and abuse you. Fantastic video! ❤❤❤❤❤