The Brutal Truth About Dating You Need to Hear

@bdrogin says:

I have a very, very simple rule: first dates should be fun. There are some topics where I will literally say, “That’s not a first date topic.” If you think that dating sucks, if you think that men suck, then a first date will not be fun. I agree with everything Jonathon says here. I am sick of seeing anti-man, anti-dating, and anti-relationship videos. Of the many, many first dates I have been on, with many women who were not compatible, there are very, very few I have not enjoyed. Yes, there have been a few, but I woman has to try really hard to mess up a first date.

I love Evan Marc Katz, and I enjoy watching his videos a lot. His clients are all women (successful women who have enough money to pay him), and he once, while being interviewed on someone else’s podcast, made a joke I found really offensive and which jibed with one of the myths you listed. He said that an ideal first date for a man was a burger and a blowjob. He meant that if a man could pay as little as possible for a first date, and have sex, that was a man’s fantasy. He was joking, of course, but I wonder if you find it as offensive as I do, and it certainly feeds into the myth that all a man wants is sex. It’s the only time, in my experience, where he messed up. He fed the myth.

On the other hand, your statement about touch I found to be very moving – at least for me. I try to promote the idea of the difference between the sensual and the sexual. Eating a very delicious meal can be extremely sensual, but that doesn’t make it sexual. Hugging a relative or a friend is sensual but not sexual. Not all touch between two sexual partners is sexual. Holding hands is not necessarily sexual. I hope you agree, and appreciate your thoughts and feedback.