When the narcissistic person’s MASK falls off
NORTH CAROLINA RETREAT
November 1-3, 2024
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DISCLAIMER: THIS INFORMATION IS FOR EDUCATIONAL PURPOSES ONLY AND IS NOT INTENDED TO BE A SUBSTITUTE FOR CLINICAL CARE. PLEASE CONSULT A HEALTH CARE PROVIDER FOR GUIDANCE SPECIFIC TO YOUR CASE. THIS VIDEO DISCUSSES NARCISSISM IN GENERAL.
THE VIDEO DOES NOT REFER TO ANY SPECIFIC PERSON, AND SHOULD NOT BE USED TO REFER TO ANY SPECIFIC PERSON, AS HAVING NARCISSISM. PERMISSION IS NOT GRANTED TO LINK TO OR REPOST THIS VIDEO, ESPECIALLY TO SUPPORT AN ALLEGATION THAT THE MAKERS OF THIS VIDEO BELIEVE, OR SUPPORT A CLAIM, THAT A SPECIFIC PERSON IS A NARCISSIST. THAT WOULD BE AN UNAUTHORIZED MISUSE OF THE VIDEO AND THE INFORMATION FEATURED IN IT.
They are not very nice 😢. And then I am the Scapegoated person at home. It doesn’t seem yet to happen in public. It is in private. The mask comes off and I think his eyes sparkle😮😮.😮😮😮😮😮
they never do it in public, because of the shame. they know right, from wrong. shame is a big part of their mindset.
He is doing in public…in public, and behind your back.
Its even sadder when that moment you realise the person you loved doesn’t really exist. You just wish that person that you thought was the soft, warm healed higherself you thought was within is just an echo is a dark cave and the desolation and emptiness for the huge emotional investment leaves you broken
I’m so sorry. I hear the pain in this statement . Hugs
ditto… and sometimes the financial investment and destruction of plans and dreams… yea, I hear ya.
it was all a lie/fake. its not just narcs, but pretty much everyone. i never viewed it as being broken, but one hell of a learning experience.
that is who is beimg described ..weve all been there or we wouldnt be here. know ur not alone. also 1 in 10 are narcs sadly. u wont have to learn this lesson again. appreciate that u now have skills that benefit the rest of ur life. appreciatuon of everything brings u more blessings/positive options. as stated, be discerning. the low vibing dark doesnt want ppl to go to the lovelight. we encountered ppl with the devil race attatched to them n they didnt want to let those lower energies go. u cant hang on to the dark n take it into the light. the devil race doesnt go beyond 4D. we are heading to the 5D/heaven n higher rapidly. 3D n the narcs/devils playground cant get in but they want us to take our narc with us so devil attachments come with them.. they want to infiltrate heaven n are theyre crumbling away..
if u are an earth angel then theyre the fallen angels of the tf journey that is of ascension n the devil race n those negative agenda factions in cahoots with them.. if u know the stories ull understand this. if not, its not for u. let it go n forget i said anything.
ur doing amazing. dont let their cowardice fear lack of self worth n over extended illusion n sence of grandeur fool u. its an act. we are on the pedestal we should be to them, they will never tell us tho coz theyre not feeling worthy. n its more than that 1 person. their fam n associates will be the similar n we have them in our fam too. amongst our friends n colleagues.. theyre everywhere n right under our noses. take titles off ppl n decide if u like how they treat u n if they give as much as the recieve from ur connection. do u feel drained after being in their company, red flags or an urgency to move away from some1. ur feelings tell u all u need to know.
sending healing n best wishes to u honey n those affected by ur narcs behaviours lies deciept n theft 🤗💕💖 xxx
So well said ❤❤ I have been doing my best to practice radical acceptance, allowing myself to grieve what I feel I’ve lost, while coming to terms with the fact that I can’t lose what I never had to begin with.
When the narcissist’s mask falls off, the worst part is not when they show their true colors, it’s realizing all the red flags you missed.
So true. Or the one’s you ignored.
Whooaa ..thats deep.❤
exactly!
💯💯💯
I chose to ignore red flag after red flag.
Working on me now and how to not be the empathatic enabler.
We realize there’s something called nothingness in the relationship.
that pretty much applies to all relationships. however you,/we, perceive it to be; all relationships, including marriage, are transactional. one, extracting from the other. you as a person are no longer a part of the equation. narcissism at its finest. narcissism is so prevalent, openly accepted, and even encouraged, in todays world, everything is based off of it, by 95% of the population.
My exwife and her new husband are accuseing me of driving around 4 diffrent counties and taking down their business signs
And to this day I haven’t even seen or looked for one of their signs
and how much contact do you have with her? it should be 0 contact. you should not be giving a sh it what she thinks about anything. matter o fact, she should not exist in your life at all.
It makes them feel so important. My ex called out of the blue one day, and accused me of beating up his screen door and yanking it off the hinges. I hadn’t been anywhere NEAR his house for ages. I told him that it must have been one of his other enemies.
( …or he did it himself coming home drunk one night; and doesn’t remember.)
It’s crazy the amount of self importance and fanty world these kinds of people can dream up
@@jedjohnson9811 they exist in a totally different rhelm.
@@lindac6919 your mistake was answering.
Years ago, my uncle told me that my narcissistic mother was a “sadist.” I agreed with him and told him that she always speaks against him behind his back — and he said, “I know, I can feel it!” He passed away years ago; and sadly, he was the only one who saw her mask slip and called it what it was. Most extended family and friends have not yet seen her “other side.”
its always served up best, when its done behind your back. just like a true coward would.
@@elizabethd.2398 maybe they think its easier to keep quiet n try not to fuel them. ano my family saw the best in ppl but when they say well hes ur dad! ..like that makes it ok! but ubhave to remember the narcs of that generation were less of a narc than those the generation before. i saw a cat of 3 tails at my grans when i was small ..it was obv a cat of 9 tails initially.. n the leather belt. not in use 50ys ago but prior to that kids were hit with anything. low incomes n massive families made hungry mouths. stealing food or for food was common.. but u werent supppsed to get caught. the book was thrown at u by ur dad, the bobbies or both.
..but u still have to walk on eggshells coz u dont know whats gunna trigger them today. not easy living for kids of all ages. traumatic if u dont master ur emotions. n at 3 n 4yo when u see it, its highly damaging for alp victims. mum helps by teaching u how navigate this kimd of life 😳
its all part of getting us to where we need to be for our missions here but their choices were steered by soc norms n family acceptances as if theres no option.
sad. but when u then have the tools to change the future, u can see why u chose them n put them in ur contract in this incarnation.
appreciate everything it’s what
made u into who u are today n who u need to be for ur future blessings
if uv learned this u need not repeat that cycle again. time to move on n up 😁🤗💕💖 xxx
@@elizabethd.2398 A sadist is someone who enjoys inflicting pain on others, sometimes in a sexual sense. Sadists like seeing other people hurt. A sadist is the opposite of a masochist, who enjoys being in pain. A sadist is all about hurting others, usually to get off sexually
wow! 😳💕💖 xxx
Or else they pretend not to.
I had a similar “mother” — a full-blown primary psychopath who fooled so many with her incredible acting skills. She destroyed the entire family.
Thank you so much for your videos Dr. Ramani!!!!
I’m dealing with “Christian” narcissists. It’s wild to see the lack of self awareness.
😭… and then they sing ‘Jesus loves Me’….while looking at you with distaste.
@@melanytodd2929Ya Jesus loves ya and everybody else thinks you’re an As..hole.
a “communal” narcissist?
They are NOT true Christians they hide behind that label that’s all Another Manipulation tactic!!! 😊
good christian anyone, are the worst of the worst. ex gf would read the bible a hour a day, to get her daily allowance of i dont know what? i never needed the bible to instruct me on how to conduct myself as a human being. she must have skipped over those parts?
Yesterday I debated whether to call his psychiatrist….she gives him 90 Xanax every 30 days, 3 a day, he’s 28, it’s so sad. He takes 10 plus Xanax and gets so drunk he blacks out…way too much for me to handle…trying to get out safely…thank you Dr. RAMANI❤
LEAVE! best bet is to leave without him knowing. its not sad, its a conscious choice, how they conduct themselves. call to his head dr is a total waist of time. if tables were reversed, he would not give a sh it about you.
I second that. Leave as soon as you can and do it ninja style. Do not share your plans with anyone, and do not seek a last conversation for closure. I did it silently 3 years ago and it was the best.
And, it won’t be easy, so discretion is very helpful.
Leave then call is MD. He’s an addict.
Benzos mixed with alcohol is a very bad mix. They potentiate each other (exponential, not just one on top of another like MJ + alcohol). There is no good ending to combining those 2. I was using both 10 years ago and landed myself in a lot of trouble.
LEAVE NOW! Otherwise, he’ll take you down with him. Reasoning with a drunk/drug addict is pointless.
I was talking to an aunt recently, and she brought up a vacation that she and her husband had taken with the people who raised me. I remember my aunt saying, ‘There was a side of your [female person who raised me] that put me off them for good.’ Remember that this aunt barely spent time with us growing up, so for her to say that speaks volumes if anything. It actually confirmed that I was not the problem AT ALL!
The Narkys chase off anyone who sees them for what they are, and anyone who may support you.
@@lindac6919 Exactly! I mean, my godmother was a good friend of the female person who raised me, and even my godmother, after a 30-plus-year friendship, managed to turn around and say ‘enough’ to the female person.
I’m tired of what’s been going on it’s not ok. It is public and crazy with a lot of people online whatever. They’re sick and don’t stop…
its not ok at all, actually its disgusting, but you might as well get used to it. narcissism is so prevalent, openly accepted, and even encouraged, in todays world, everything is based off of it, by 95% of the population. me me me mine, take from you, pretty much rules the roost.
@@lilfairycupcake not acceptable and no excuse for it. They need help
@@Smartbeautifulawesome help is something they will never get. if anything they will say, your the problem.
My psychopathic father mask never fell off! Until he had the on start of dementia. Shoot I been raging today myself for good reasons. Knowing I did pick up on narc learned behaviors- but I don’t wear mask and I got no clue how to play the game. But still raging. Someone ask me how I am today I’ll probably say do you really want to know – lord have mercy! Yep I’ve seen the narc mask slip well heard about it at some party she was throwing. Glad someone else FINALLY saw it! I best drive this off.. no not speed either get on them there back roads . Peace out
Hi Dr. Ramani, I forgot about the depression. After our last confrontation, he looks depressed because he hasn’t developed a new strategy to blame me. Whilst he upholds I’m causing his pain, or I’m out to destroy him.
He does leave to visit his mom’s.
I used to feel abandoned. Now I feel relief.
you need to permanently relieve yourself of the entire situation. let him brew in his own stupidity, by himself.
I was raised by a vulnerable narcissistic mother. It sucked! I’m in my 40s and doing well in life now. But, I’m still in the process of grieving the childhood I never had.
coming from a sh it childhood myself, i wiped the slate clean eons ago, by not making the same mistakes myself, a learning experience, and its worked well. dwelling on bs you had no control over, does nobody, no good. the hardest lessons we learn in life, are also the most costly ones.
Good to hear that! I’m 41 and only recently acknowledged that I have narcissistic and borderline traits like my parents. Narcissists raise narcissists. Sad but true 😢
“F*ck four!” Goldie Hawn, The Banger Sisters.
I am sorry 😢 similar story here. And it is so isolating as many people font understand
@@ChunkyLover1983not necessarily, but you have a good point as behavior is learned, but it can be unlearned
This is all what’s happened in my family with the narcissists, and I’m expected to pretend nothing happened for the sake of the ‘family’ being together. I can’t and won’t put myself in harms way nor be blamed for their abusive behaviours. No idea how to navigate the holidays, but prioritizing my health and safety despite pressure from the enablers. It’s all so awful. But I matter too❤. Thank you Dr Ramani ❤
family. what a joke. i let them all self delete, one by one, over the past 18yrs. all im down to is my mom.
First, I find out if my Sister is going to attend. If she’s spending Christmas Day sacrificing herself by being a Saint(ER Nurse) for the community, then I might visit my folks. I arrive late, and leave early. If she’s going to be there, then I tell them I have other plans. Well…they’re dead now. That’s what I used to do.
One year I took myself on a skiing trip. All by myself, it was lovely.
He is a COP & uses his badge as a way to meet unassuming vulnerable people to use for supply. He needs to be caught and have his badge taken away. Even drinks while on duty, cant pay the mortgage or bills or soccer camp for his son ( L.A ) or daughter’s dance classes ( K.A ) but always has money for beer, vape, testosterone to shot up. These people need to be stopped. I was a victim of his abuse & moved out / no contact & am starting to feel so much better. let the new supply keep him busy just stay away from me.
I used to be the kindest most generous person you would ever meet. I have done a lot of family caregiving with multiple family members for many years and loaned thousands to help them when asked. I did find out the hard way, that my efforts were not appreciated and were not reciprocated. I have covered for my mistreatment for the sake of not causing harm to others and causing more riffs. Now, If I feel disrespected or manipulated, I will call them out in a heartbeat, I don’t care who it is. If that makes me a bad person, selfish, so be it. I have had enough.
Me too, just like you. Let’s stay strong for a better future. ❤
nobody appreciates anything. i just turned 59, and from here on out, im just like everyone else, me me me me mine.
I experienced the same with family. I couldn’t give enough. When I finally said, “no”, I was cheap, evil, etc. My own mother was the ring leader. At 67 I had enough and walked away and went no contact. I cried for a week. BUT, OMG, I finally felt a shower of peace come over me and for the first time in my life I realized it was the best thing I ever did for myself. You can’t pick your family, but you can surround yourself with wonderful, trustworthy friends!! Life can be good!
@@essieessie5399Hope you find the peace you deserve. Don’t let the selfish people get you down.
@@ericb8413 ❤
Re: Calling emergency services when a narcissist is at risk of harming themselves or others – if it’s your intimate partner, get yourself and your children to safety first if possible before you make that call.
Murder/suicides are common in our culture.
When you leave them…is when they have nothing to lose, and they unalive you.
Thank you.. this healing journey is rough.. one day at a time.. I am a slayer.. they could not break me to bend to their bullshit.. I know who I am. And I saw who they really are. Divorce was final 2 weeks ago. No contact for 3 months now. It’s great.