The SHAME you feel when the narcissist TREATS YOU WELL
NORTH CAROLINA RETREAT
November 1-3, 2024
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DISCLAIMER: THIS INFORMATION IS FOR EDUCATIONAL PURPOSES ONLY AND IS NOT INTENDED TO BE A SUBSTITUTE FOR CLINICAL CARE. PLEASE CONSULT A HEALTH CARE PROVIDER FOR GUIDANCE SPECIFIC TO YOUR CASE. THIS VIDEO DISCUSSES NARCISSISM IN GENERAL.
THE VIDEO DOES NOT REFER TO ANY SPECIFIC PERSON, AND SHOULD NOT BE USED TO REFER TO ANY SPECIFIC PERSON, AS HAVING NARCISSISM. PERMISSION IS NOT GRANTED TO LINK TO OR REPOST THIS VIDEO, ESPECIALLY TO SUPPORT AN ALLEGATION THAT THE MAKERS OF THIS VIDEO BELIEVE, OR SUPPORT A CLAIM, THAT A SPECIFIC PERSON IS A NARCISSIST. THAT WOULD BE AN UNAUTHORIZED MISUSE OF THE VIDEO AND THE INFORMATION FEATURED IN IT.
I get so much mental clarity from your videos, thank you.❤
There’s always hidden agenda behind them treating you well. They just don’t do nice things without any benefits.
That resonates with my mother.
You got that right!
I know figuring out what the narc really wants ??
I would definitely experience this as a betrayal, having a relationship with someone who mistreats others that I love and care about, but treats me well. I would not have a relationship with them. There would be no trust
They gaslight you so much, that when they treat you well, you may feel like you don’t deserve it. Because they train you to think that you don’t deserve anything.
That’s crazy sounds like some people don’t know how to read and study people❤
Is it weird to cry through these videos? I have the worst time getting through these, but I feel like I’m getting so much out of this.
((HUG)) Tears can be healing. Maybe think of it as a release of things held too long.
Many of times watching and listening to Dr Ramani brings the tears to the surface! For me it’s a good thing ..like I needed that. Part of healing
Every word she utters resonates with our life! Hope you keep healing 🙏
It’s a normal response to being seen and understood after all this time.
If only my golden child brother had the sort of sensitivity to feel shame. He’s gone all in with the narcissist…for the money.
Oh yes
You have to keep them at a distance and grey rock even when they try to do nice things
It’s just a hoover ❤❤❤
He makes me feel bad when he saved and used his money to get me something… saying im worth it at first, but later on guilt tripping me by telling me how expensive they are… I rather I dont receive anything from him, he makes me feel like i owe him. The funny thing is he was the one who was willing to get me those things, but blame me for it later.
Put it simply, he’s so manipulative that he makes me feel that i treated him badly. He said, ‘How come you are so bad to me?’ and fake his tears even…
Don’t take gifts from a narc…it will be leveraged against you later…ALWAYS
Our eldest son, who has his own home and a high paying job, has become the chosen one of my narcissistic husband. My husband actually has referred to our son as “money bags” and says he will be able to count on our son to care for him financially when he’s old. Behind my son’s back though he says insulting things about him. My youngest son decided to tell his brother all the horrible things their narc dad was saying about him. My eldest son hardly ever comes around now. I am saving up, secretly, to get myself, my youngest son, and our pets out of this hell-hole.
I am so sorry you are still in there. I had to escape and go into hiding so I can imagine how you are feeling.
@@JarmilaStroleny I’m glad you were able to make it out! It gives me hope! ❤️
Sounds exactly like the narchole I married. This subject will be a chapter in my book! The older well off son has always been his dads scapegoat. Which luckily for the oldest, who is successful along with his wife, has showed him who his dad is.
As a scapegoat I see people around me thriving. It is disgusting to witness.
Giving fake compliments (enviously), gift giving, favors, and offering help are all actions with intentionally hidden agendas, it’s never about helping you, or being nice, it’s to make you feel obligated towards them or for them to share this info with others in an attempt to seem like a good person. But I’ve listened to a golden child narc friend who has repeatedly stated what she’s done to help so many people and how ungrateful they act towards her, but she only brings this up because she was venting about her distain for this person because they exposed her bad behavior or lie.
“To thine own self be true”- William Shakespeare. If you “fall for it” you know that you are deceiving yourself.
More complicated than falling for it. Some people are not easily offended & less reactive yet know their limitations & take breaks from…. Grandma or dad.
We can add this to the list of ways narcissists have double standards. I have never experienced this to my knowledge. I have always been the one the narcissist treats badly.
I just want to let you know Dr.Ramani that because of your enlightening videos, I finally had the knowledge of what I was experiencing and the courage to walk away with tools. It will be 6 months this week and even the hardest day is better than 1 single confusing fight with the narcissist in my life. I just want to thank you for saving my life after 12 long wasted years.
omg! this was my constant question in all my life. the narcs treat me so badly but well to others, no exception!!!! thanks Ramani❤
Brilliant. These Go Deeper videos really highlight the complexity of Narcissistic relationships. This exalted position is ALWAYS transactional and conditional, and WILL end when you’re no longer convenient to the Narcissist.
My mother was a vulnerable yet also malignant narc. I was the Golden Child to my grandma. She protected me from my mother. I was a child and she gave me safety and sanity that I didn’t get from others. I know she had been abusive to my mom and others. I loved her so much. I still do. I forgave her and myself for still loving her. I was only a child and she was my peace, a confidant, and a role model (in being a good person to me and she taught me to be fearless. The only reason I’m still here to write this. Relationships like ours is so confusing at times but in the face of abuse of many, she was my rock. Deep down I don’t think she as bad as others made her out to be. I think my mom worked desperately hard to triangulate me from my grandma but it never worked. I think my grandma knew that her daughter wasn’t a good person and I think my mom’s jealousy made my mom even more abusive against me. It created a compilation between my mom trying to win me back. I was a truth seer and a truth teller. My mom never won
My parents are the opposite of this. They’re super nice friendly welcoming kind caring and generous with others, and then behind closed doors to me they are mean invalidating criticizing gaslighting dismissive shaming blaming neglectful and toxic. It’s awful how people think they’re so wonderful yet don’t know the painful things I have experienced from them. It hurts a lot to see them treat others better then me.Even my brothers are conveniently unaware of it. So tired of it all. Keeping my boundaries and focusing on my life. I know the truth. Thank you Dr Ramani ❤
@@costelloandlizzievolk2233 That’s often the case with narcs. I wish I had secretly made recordings of the things he said to me, but I was to afraid for him to find out.
I hope you can find your way out one day. 🫂 Maybe you can seek for help, tell someone who doesn’t know your parents?
Wishing you strenght, know it’s not your fault!
As a friend who has experienced this, I can tell you this is exactly how I feel. Heck, halfway through the video I cried. I feel betrayed by the friend who is still stuck with their narcissistic partner and I am scared of saying anything in that exact same scenario. They will tell them I am the problem and I want to separate them. I have had it happen to me within my family and it’s a struggle to let go of that relationship.
I’m so greatful that you covered this! Especially since it dives more into the “love-bombing” part where everyone is *convinced* that YOU are the “ungrateful” person for not accepting their kindness!
Thank you Dr. Ramani ❤❤❤