STOP shaming people in narcissistic relationships with THIS TOXIC LINE…
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November 1-3, 2024
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DISCLAIMER: THIS INFORMATION IS FOR EDUCATIONAL PURPOSES ONLY AND IS NOT INTENDED TO BE A SUBSTITUTE FOR CLINICAL CARE. PLEASE CONSULT A HEALTH CARE PROVIDER FOR GUIDANCE SPECIFIC TO YOUR CASE. THIS VIDEO DISCUSSES NARCISSISM IN GENERAL.
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Don’t take responsibility for narcissists ill-placed blame.
Thanks for calling out this BS, Dr Ramani
Very similar to the saying “you made your bed, now you must lie in it”. This is what I used to tell myself. 😢
This!!!
Enablers deny the truth of what happened to you in toxic relationships. Instead of accepting the truth, they blame you. 😖
That or minimise it to the nth degree.
💯 It’s maddening. Not sure I how I will navigate holidays this year because of them all but prioritizing my well being ❤
true
It hurts and it’s even more frightening when people you know don’t believe you
This is exactly what my ex brother in law did to me. I still don’t know why the hell he felt compelled to make a lifelong project out of enabling his brother. It was on the level of permissive surrogate parenting I’d never witnessed before or since.
Whoa!! Dr. Ramani is on FIRE!!
Thank you for fighting for us who have to shut up to put up. ❤❤❤❤❤
“You sowed nothing, you’re reaping plenty.” So true. Thank you from a person born into it. It may be my lesson and my journey, but did I choose it?
As the scapegoat of the family I used to think “You don’t have to hit me over the head with that club, give it to me and I can do it myself.” When I was a teenager there was an incident where my father had me trapped in a corner and was hitting his fist into his other hand saying how much he wanted to punch me. When I finally broke down and told my older brother (who I had adored when I was younger) what happened, he said I must have deserved it. I asked him what I could have done to deserve that. He said you must have smart mouthed him.
Reminds me of my narc father poking me with his finger in my chest. That really pissed me off on top of it I had no idea what was spilling out of his narcissistic vocabulary mouth
You don’t have to answer this, and I apologise if it upsets you.. I’m just wondering if your Dad did eventually hit you, or did he stop at threats?
It’s horrible and still abuse either way, I’m just asking because I’m in a similar situation. In my experience threats eventually turn into action.. 🙁
@@katyb2793 My father’s violent behavior towards me stopped abruptly. From what I can piece together my father came hunting for me only to find me unconscious from overdosing on medication I had been prescribed for anxiety attacks. My parents did not call an ambulance. Apparently my father left the house and my mother went to bed. My best guess as to what happened is my father was shocked and wanted to call an ambulance while my mother would have no part in that since it would embarrass the family. Whatever happened that night stopped the violent abuse but not the emotional abuse. It was not long after that that I went away to school.
@@marysisak2359 oh Mary I’m so so sorry… you didn’t deserve any of that, and it’s not right. At all.
I really hope you’re in a better, safe place now with people who truly love you. And I’m so glad you pulled through that night. Sending you a big hug ❤
Scapegoat vs Golden Child.
People who don’t get it say the dumbest things. I stopped talking about it.
Same here. People think you are an idiot for staying. They don’t realize that if you go, things can get much worse for you or the rest of the family. Narcs can be dangerous. I just didn’t comment and didn’t worry about what other people thought.
Yep. And they laugh about things not meant to be funny.
Facts 👌
Same. I don’t share it with them. 🤐
Sometimes they do get it, and they play dumb to keep the status quo.
Exactly! This and the line of “You attract who you are” really infuriates me! It’s not true and it’s victim blaming.
Yep…same with the “JUsT cHanGe yOuR vIbRAtiON aNd yOu WIll SToP alL oF yOUr pRoBleMz” garbage.
We can all thank the sewage seep of the demonic, intentionally victim-blaming New Age dog s*** for this.
Yes. I sort of fell for that line when I became involved with a narcissistic colleague at work for a while. It was only when I stopped considering the possibility that I could be similar to her and honestly and strongly affirmed to myself that this was definitely not true, that I instantly felt better. It was NOT my fault. It was hers. Believing the new age BS was NOT helpful! It was harmful, in fact, but at least I woke up to it! Succinctly said.
They buy into “The law of attraction” fallacy. It’s exactly victim blaming.
Actually, I attracted who I THOUGHT I was. Now, I am trying to find myself.
It’s ignorant and widespread. It’s in that “everyone knows…” category of lies.
I am so so glad I am free now🙏❤️
You are 100 percent correct Dr. Ramani. These narcissists are fully aware of what they are doing. Sometimes the innocent partner may have some complex trauma from childhood which was unresolved, which enabled them to stay with these abusive partners. False hope. It is the Narcissist that will reap what they sow.
I freaking LOVE IT when Dr. Ramani vehemently lays down the truth. 👏👏👏
I’ve had sooo many people shame and blame me for being abused, saying I choose it attracted it caused it or created it. Super messed up and beyond hurtful. I keep pretty strong boundaries with those people now or don’t have them in my life. People need to think before they speak! No one is responsible for the abuse except the abuser. Thank you Dr Ramani ❤
When they find out that you were a target for abuse…they decide that you’re Fair Game, so they take a few pokes at you and try to use you the same way.
Sometimes…they get a big surprise. I had to take it from Narky…I DON’T take it from anyone else.
It’s amazing how the abusers and enablers don’t understand how this applies to them. They don’t get that if they repeatedly unapologetically abuse me, they don’t get a relationship with me. Not my problem anymore. Thank you Dr Ramani ❤
Oh, they understand. That’s why they keep it going.
Amen, Dr. Ramani! We needed to hear this! We can’t heal if we think being kind, patient, and understanding is the problem with this world. It’s the opposite. It’s not our fault that people feel insecure, act out, and dont want to heal. We didn’t cause their pain and only they can heal it.
30 years in this marriage and now having the knowledge of what I’m dealing with, desperately want to leave, but made so much input financially into the home, I think I’m entitled to my fair share to assist me in starting over because he made me leave my job. Praying for a miracle to be out, it’s horrific for any human being to go through this. God deliver your children from this hidden abuse.
Amazing! So true. I was stuck 27 years! Been free 6 months!!! Moved state, got a job and feel 20 years younger. I was getting sick, truly sick but not anymore. Thank you Dr R you have walked every step with me. The times, and there were many and perhaps still some days when I’m questioning my decision, I hear his voice so I plug you in on audible or watch a video. Thank you from the bottom of my heart ❤️
Say 👏🏽 it 👏🏽 louder 👏🏽 Thank you for this, dr. Ramani. There are a bunch of so-called psychologists on youtube that apparently haven’t studied narcissism blaming the victims by saying they’re responsible for not putting boundaries. Besides having to put up with the trauma of having been in a relationship with a narcissist, the victims still have to hear these absurds from bad professionals.
Crying as I watch this. That person you are talking about, that is where I am. 28 years and it is getting worse. Don’t know how much more I can take.
True. That is why you can only talk about narcissistic abuse with people who get it.