STOP being hard on yourself for dating a narcissist
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DISCLAIMER: THIS INFORMATION IS FOR EDUCATIONAL PURPOSES ONLY AND IS NOT INTENDED TO BE A SUBSTITUTE FOR CLINICAL CARE. PLEASE CONSULT A HEALTH CARE PROVIDER FOR GUIDANCE SPECIFIC TO YOUR CASE. THIS VIDEO DISCUSSES NARCISSISM IN GENERAL.
THE VIDEO DOES NOT REFER TO ANY SPECIFIC PERSON, AND SHOULD NOT BE USED TO REFER TO ANY SPECIFIC PERSON, AS HAVING NARCISSISM. PERMISSION IS NOT GRANTED TO LINK TO OR REPOST THIS VIDEO, ESPECIALLY TO SUPPORT AN ALLEGATION THAT THE MAKERS OF THIS VIDEO BELIEVE, OR SUPPORT A CLAIM, THAT A SPECIFIC PERSON IS A NARCISSIST. THAT WOULD BE AN UNAUTHORIZED MISUSE OF THE VIDEO AND THE INFORMATION FEATURED IN IT.
Atleast now I know I can’t fix them and need to steer clear of them.
Most people on their death bed don’t regret the things they did but the things they didn’t do.
I needed to hear this so badly. I’ve been beating myself up and drinking way too much feeling so stupid about all the time I wasted trying to get my mother’s approval. I’m no contact now for almost a year. I’m proud of myself for that. I tried everything.
I’m 38 and I feel like my life is wasted and over. I’m so sad.
Thanks for this.
I’m 66 & here to tell you that the best years are just ahead of you! It’s called older but wiser so make better choices & be happy
You are such a blessing .May God bless you for being you.
I did beat myself up for years before and after my divorce of my narc, not counting all the horrible stuff she put me through. I still remember how shocked I was that anyone could truly treat another human that way, it knocked me off my axis of any semblance of safety. I went to counseling and got back in the driver’s seat of sanity. Thanks for sharing everyone 😊
I just had this convo this morning! But on an accountability tip, I know what part I played as well!
At the right time… I needed this ❤❤❤❤ Thank you Dr.Ramani.
Looking back over 66 years of narcissistic abuse I can attest that the only way out is through it! We cannot see the forest for the trees… especially if our family of origin is dysfunctional. Without great therapy, which wasn’t available fifty years ago & isn’t affordable now, I tried to fix a broken system. The enemy camp simply wasn’t a healthy place to be as a child & it programs you to seek out the same treatment until that’s too harmful. How are we going to learn about real life except from those experiences? Never play a role by the rules laid down by unhealthy people
*To Dr. Ramani’s team: PLEASE CHANGE THE TITLE OF THIS VIDEO* to remove the word dating and reflect the actual content. This is _such_ an important video for people who were thwarted by narcissistic parents (or _any_ narcisssist) and I would hate others to miss it because of the misleading title. What about: “STOP being hard on yourself for not doing more while being abused.” Giving ourselves credit for the HUGE hidden burdens and extra work that are *ongoing* effects of abuse is a concept _every_ survivor needs to hear! Thank you. 💖
Agreed 👍
The video is about making choices during past circumstances that didn’t go as well or “normal.”
Life choices and decisions include regrets about who we dated in the past.
Mostly to understand why that path affected us then recognizing and accepting…the miracle of where we are at today, regardless of the regretable dating choices made.
Learn and apply wisdom to be aware, especially when a survivor decides to date again.
Being raised in a narc family has a huge impact with dating choices.
because of a misguided upbringing and lack of nurturing from the family unit.
Hope this helps.
Totally what I needed to hear after a horrific conversation with my mom and dad where they gaslit me so much I felt emotionally abused. They are awful sometimes. I am proud of what I’ve done despite them. Thank you Dr Ramani ❤
Sometimes, my tolerance for others is short when the divide between my life experience and others feels too much. Then, I come to this channel. Daily, I’m reminded that I am just one of way too many. Never alone here.
Dr. R., thanks for the mirror and the healing tools.
Brilliant. When we get clear on all the things we were unknowingly working against, we realize we were really super heroes of hope and resilience. We didn’t know that these people don’t change and how destructively they affect us.
Don’t criticize yourself for NOT KNOWING. ❤
Dr. Ramani, I really appreciated this video today. It’s taken me a while to get to the point where I can accept what happened and be compassionate toward myself. NO WONDER I didn’t do this or that. NO WONDER I was going through all this awful and barely succeeded. NO WONDER fill in the blank. I did do quite a bit, accomplished quite a bit, despite all the external factors dragging me down. There is no telling what I could have accomplished if I’d had a better family and a firm foundation to stand on. But I didn’t. What I did accomplish can’t be discounted.
“What you did was nothing short of a miracle.”
Yes. Thank you. Internet hugs to all you survivors out there. We’re going to make it. One foot in front of the other. One hour at a time.
Thank you Dr. Ramani. This video couldn’t have come at a better time . . .
I was thinking about this idea recently and sadly came to the realization that my brother and I never stood a chance at being our best selves. I’m grieving that now and trying to go easier on myself but it almost feels impossible.
Thank you I really needed to hear this.
The video is like a healing balm to a wound. Definitely not salt! Shifted a perspective within. Thank you!
Needed this video today. Flew high n far maybe could’ve flown farther but all things considered I’m so much stronger for me n others ; tell yourself ‘ya did good’….. “you did good kiddo”….
Here’s wishing Dr Ramani a beautiful day week month. Year