When we think about narcissism, most of us picture the loud, flashy, attention-seeking type. But what if the quiet, sullen, victimized form of narcissism could be even more dangerous? In this video, we dive into the hidden risks of vulnerable narcissism—how it can escalate in ways you might not expect and why it’s crucial to understand this pattern. If you’ve ever felt guilt, fear, or confusion in these relationships, this is a must-watch.
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All are dangerous depending on the situation. They’re unpredictable.
I’ve not found any narcissist to be unpredictable. I’ve dealt with covert and overt. If I say something to my aunt I know exactly how she’s going to respond.
I think the only time a narc felt unpredictable was when I was hoping it was my imagination, when I expected them to act like a loving person, and then they acted predictably like a narcissist instead
Narcissist are actually very predictable. You might have encountered a sociopathic narcissist.
Not true. They are predictable. Trump is predictably malignant. He’s predictably only concerned with his own self interests. He’s predictable in lacking compassion for others.
I think so, too. They can be unpredictable in the way that their behavior can shift quite abruptly even when it all seems good and they appear happy.
Yep I agree
No matter how dangerous a narcissist is, there is no one more dangerous than an enabler. Because enablers cover up all the damages done by the narcissist and pretend it never happened.
Absolutely 💯👏
Truth. My narc sister threatened my kids including my 8 year old. My enabling parents are aware. All they said is that they don’t want to get involved as they won’t pick sides.
Some don’t pretend it never happened. They don’t even cover up the damage. They just try to deal with a losing situation the best way they can. They can’t get rid of the narcissists or get out of the relationship without becoming more victimized than they already are.
@nicoledburns82 Ah, yes, the classic false neutrality of “not picking sides.” Sorry, no one gets a pass for enabling evil, period.
I think of the danger as being about equal between narcissists and enablers.
They’re all dangerous an toxic to be honest. But from my experience the most lethal are covert/vulnerable narcissist. They slither around hiding behind fake humility, fake kindness, and a false image of I’m this wonderful person.
💯 Agree, I lived with 1. Pure evil, destructive, sadistic, monsters 😢
The narc I live with doesn’t ever pretend to be nice. He dosent hide behind any feeling or emotion. He is incapable of have any feelings even the ones he could hide behind.
@@shan-2233 At least he’s open about it. Speaks for him that he’s not a con artist. For what it’s worth…
So true, that poor poor me just sucks the life out of you
Yes! Fake empathy 😡 I’m enraged all over again just reflecting on it.
I honestly feel like the grandiose narcissist types exhibit a very present and readable read flag. You don’t typically have to wait a couple of miserable years for their “masks to fall” because they aren’t masking.
The covert, vulnerable – later to find out, malignant – types are indeed, IMHO the worst.
They are the reason I have no more empathy for men with a sob story. Sorry not sorry to the many black men with that 🤷🏾♀️
So glad Dr. Ramani is talking about this! 🙌🏾
In my experience, the malignant narcissist is the most dangerous. But when it comes to your parents, the danger is the damage they do to you from birth, and that is long-term, lifelong damage. So in my case, my father was a grandiose narcissist and my mother was a vulnerable narcissist.
Well said!
OMG, same here! They hate eachother but refuse to divorce. It’s sick and twisted. They both feed off the mutual misery.
@@gee_emm👍👍👍
Mine is the other way around…my father is the covert one ( the religious and kind to other people) while my mother is the me me me person ( speaks and thinks only about herself)
Same here!
The most dangerous narcissist in my life, and there have been many, was one who mascaraded as being super sweet and nice in front of everyone else. But completely damaged my good reputation in a group. It was a woman. The narcissists that I have encountered have harmed me quite viscously emotionally, psychologically, financially. There is no help for this. It keeps you trapped. You may not die, but life is hell.
Yes, I think the covert kind are the most dangerous because they can hide for so long. Often multiple decades while they destory person after person, undercover, but appear sweet as pie. At least the pathological ones are out and in our face. Identifiable.
Or you may die,depending how upset they will become with you.
You definitely will die younger with any narc
Escape! Save yourself!
“there have been many”… Really?? Many?? Uhhh, that’s that’s a red flag right there 😅
The most dangerous narcissist is the one standing next to you, the ones you’re in relationship with
I saw the title to Dr R‘s video, and clicked on it solely to leave the comment that you had already left!
Why
You got it.
@@lemaxx2638 I’d say because the majority of narcissists don’t even want to do the tough work of any change behavior
Or the one that lives next to you that you can’t escape
The most dangerous narcissists are the ones you expect to be able to trust, like a parent, sibling or spouse and are mentality and physically violent.
Totally agree! The betrayal is hard when it’s your own family members rather than friends, relatives, bosses, or colleagues.
…. Or sadly, an adult child
@@Alaska_Engineer That’s what I’m afraid of now. Along with his vindictive narc of a father.
Don’t forget CHILDREN. My daughter is a vulnerable narcissist1000%
@@Alaska_Engineerexactly
It’s very scary breaking up with a man, or even a woman. You never know how they will react. I’ve been stalked and harassed for decades after rejecting the advances of these narcs/psycopaths. I really avoid most people due to this.
The covert, vulnerable ones. They are so much more difficult to spot. The victim mentality can really rope in a person who is empathetic, generous, and kind. It’s not until you’re trapped emotionally, physically, and financially that they show what they really are. And their behavior can become so dangerous, violent, and malignant once you understand what you’re actually dealing with.
The grandiose are so much easier to spot.
No. They are not easy to spot. Most kind people take charisma as confidence. Victims don’t have a clue what’s going on until it’s too late. Narcs make a web while people the best person we ever met. They will not show true colors at first. So No they are not easy to spot. They are all players.
Covert narcissists are master manipulators.
@@WillowTeacher, just speaking from my experience, comment added before watching the video. This appears to confirm what Dr. Ramani is saying.
@@WillowTeacherI think if you are savvy you can easily spot the grandiose type. But if you are naïve, you can mistake their ways for charm or glamour. And if you have your own issues, or are a people pleaser, you ignore the red flags. And enabling can feel safer than rocking the boat.
I lived this nightmare. I don’t wish it on my worst enemy. I didn’t know much about narcissist. Just that the word narcissist is thrown around lately. Until I have been through almost 2 years of every form of abuse except physical abuse. Finally I was reverse discorded. One day I saw this video on line about narcissist abuse. I now realized I was in a narcissistic relationship not just a narcissist but a covert narcissist. The most evil of them all. You could never imagine him as a narcissist and no one would ever believe you. But is karma is coming. Very soon.
The most dangerous narcissist is the vulnerable one hiding a malignant one and is disguised as a person who is supposed to love you unconditionally like a parent or spouse.
So you’ve met my ex…..
Or they say they love you unconditionally but the physical that is the doings don’t seem to match the words I mean.
@sparkygump I guess we had the same husband. Thank God they’re now exes.
@@maryyoung4046 exactly the words just don’t match the actions.
@@sparkygump I guess we were married to the same guy. Thank God they’re now exes. Best wishes.
The most dangerous narcissist I ever had to deal with was really a combination of the vulnerable and the malignant. He suffered ego injuries easily, and grew enraged when the world did not acknowledge him as a great man. He also failed to launch all the time, which only exacerbated his feelings of vulnerability and rage. Never underestimate how dangerous such people are, and remember that there is nothing you can do to fix them.
Same experience 😪
Absolutely. Get away from them as soon as possible.
Sounds exactly like my ex.
Thank you for the advice!
Bingo! Well described. The worst one I dealt with was the same. Very disturbing traits at work in this dangerous combination of personality defects.
The fragile /covert narc is super scary. I was married to one for thirty years. The passive aggressive behavior was outrageous and endless. Nobody would ever believe me that he was a psychopath. Definitely the dark triad. Super dangerous.
Same here 36 years with that evil
I’m in the same boat, but he’s just a coworker. I’m working on leaving because management won’t do anything that really helps (get rid of the toxic jerk!)
Same with me, 36 years…covert are the worst@@elliemay7569
You just described my ex of 25 years
33 years with the evil avatar. A prison of mindfuckery, sexual abuse, financial abuse, child abuse, mental abuse, cohersion. True crime without a visible death…scary behaviours and finally physical abuse, smear campaign and more abuse of our children/adults.
Personally, when I saw the title, I immediately thought of the narcissist you don’t recognize.
The one who is slowly destroying your friendships, relationships, like a toxic chemical leak that erodes everything foundational until the entire structure disintegrates. They have gathered enablers around them so carefully that they remain protected and helped while everything in your life is destroyed.
I call what you mentioned about having enablers around them so carefully they remain protected I called them The Untouchables.
This is the best way I’ve ever heard this put! I’m in a relationship with one now and have been for a long time. It’s awful 😞
Yes, very well put! This happened to me, and I’m honestly considering moving to another country to start anew and get away from their spider web.
Very true and the worst part is seeing them maintain relationships (though they are superficial and surface) while you have lost people bc of their behavior. I had family and friends feeling sorry for the person that was trying to destroy me bc he had put on such an amazing act over the years
Yep. Well said. Deserves a million likes.
2:59 Covert narcissists are hard to spot! The grandiose ones are obvious, but it’s taken me 45 years to put the pieces together and notice the covert in my midst. It was truly a revelation! I almost feel silly. I have been enabling and making excuses for them for decades! Nevermind the years of passive aggression, emotional incest, learned helplessness, refusal to change, hyper sensitivity, silent treatment, negative jabs and put downs and a lifetime of codependent perpetual victimhood.
I’m sorry for your experience and glad you finally saw what was before you. Same here. I made so many excuses for am that monster
Yup. Took me over 50 years.
The covert narcissist. I know because I lived with my mother most of my life. She did more damage to me than my arrogant, overtly narcissist father. She was more sly, more subtle than he was. She worked behind my back to undermine me. And no family member or relative believed me when I exposed her because she was so charming.
I’m so sorry
Sorry for your your experience. I can relate so I unfortunately I had to let them all go.
I relate & I’m sorry that you went through this!
So sorry to hear, I hope you found another support network that does believe you. I had the luck that I could share experiences with my father about all the things my mom, his ex-wife, done to us. This only happened after years of fragile contact with my dad though, due to the manipulation of my mother. It made me realise that finding the right people is so important to heal from these relationships. As a survivor, you need a healthy community to heal so you can start believing that it’s not you.
I can identify! My mother did far more damage than my father ever did!
The most dangerous is when your mom and sister are narcs😢family is supposed to be a safe place
‼️‼️‼️
Add in both parents, partners and some *cough* ‘frenemys’ *cough*
Mother the narc, 1 sister the flying monkey, the youngest sister, getting beat, like me, the eldest child. Dad, not saying a word.
@@TCWilliams-t7e so sorry
@@KirstenLambert-nt8iy 😘
These vulnerable coverts are the MOST DANGEROUS type there is.They play the chronic victim until they become aggressive when you say goodbye.
Vampire in sheep’s clothing.
As a daughter of a narcissist mother I agree that the most dangerous is the one that lives with you. 😢
sorry to hear it. my mother is a narcissist, too. she really wreaked havoc on me as a child, physically and mentally. I’m 64 now, and I still get teary when I think back to her abuse.
Psychedelics are just an exceptional mental health breakthrough. It’s quite fascinating how effective they are against depression and anxiety. Saved my life.
Can you help with the reliable source I would really appreciate it. Many people talk about mushrooms and psychedelics but nobody talks about where to get them. Very hard to get a reliable source here in Australia. Really need!
Yes Jefshroomies , I have a similar experience with anxiety, depression, PTSD, and addiction, and mushrooms have significantly contributed to my recovery and being clean today.
I wish those were more easily accessible where I live.
Microdosing was my next step for my husband. He’s 59 & dealing with lots of mental health challenges, possible CTE & a TBI that put him in a coma for 8 days. Unfortunately, I had to get a TPO since he’s 6’6, over 300 pounds, and showing violent behavior, constantly talking about harming others. He’s aggressive. To anyone reading this, if you’re familiar with BPD, is it common to have an obsession with violence?
Is he on Google ?
Jefshroomies is the man
In the beginning, it feels like you’ve met the kindest, most affectionate person in the world. They are gentle, caring, and seem to mirror your every move. You might dismiss their lack of intimacy as shyness, not realizing that they are simply reflecting you back to yourself. As time passes, you notice something unsettling. they rarely express love in their own words. Instead, they respond with robotic phrases like, “I feel the same way,” or “I love you just as much.” They never voluntarily tell you they miss you or love you just because. You start wondering if they even have real feelings. In response, you try harder–showing more love, breaking down their walls hoping they’ll reciprocate. But they don’t. Their withholding feels like insecurity or trust issues, but in reality, it’s something deeper. You get lost trying to make sense of their actions, but there is no logic, only confusion. Eventually, you become drainedmentally, emotionally, even physically. You either gain or lose weight, feel constantly anxious, and struggle to maintain peace within yourself. You take on more responsibilities, making their life easier while yours feels isolated and empty. One day, they seem into you, and the next, they pull away. When you express your concerns, they dismiss them, reassuring you with empty words. You begin suppressing your feelings, convinced you’re too sensitive. They’re physically present, yet emotionally absent. If you ever confront them about the disconnect, they’ll gaslight you—making you feel insecure for even asking. If you cry, they won’t comfort you; they’ll scroll through their phone or continue eating as if nothing is happening. Their words never match their actions. Over time, you feel like you don’t even know them. Their emotional intelligence is so off, it’s as if you’re teaching a child how to feel.
They keep every aspect of their life private family, finances, phone, friends. At first, it seems like personal boundaries, but after years, it feels like secrecy. They promise things but never follow through. They isolate you yet pretend they’re doing nothing wrong. When you question them, they act confused, making you over-explain yourself. Even their apologies are manipulative empty words with no change in behavior.
They’ll make you doubt reality. For example, they might give you $200 to pamper yourself but won’t invite you to Christmas dinner. They disappear for hours, then bring you breakfast as if that erases their absence. If you question them, they twist it to make you feel like the problem. Even intimacy is empty. Sex is routine no passion, no deep connection, no foreplay. Just mechanical. In the beginning, they might put in effort, but it fades quickly. No cuddling, no deep kissesjust another transaction. You’ll constantly wonder why their schedule changes so often, why they’re always so secretive. You might even become afraid to Google their name, scared of what you’ll find. Deep down, you know something is off, but by the time you realize it, you’re in too deep,trapped in their web of deception. And yes, they are always cheating. They exhaust themselves hiding it abusing caffeine, using ED meds, sneaking off with a secret phone, manipulating finances. They take long bathroom breaks, change work shifts unexpectedly, and always have excuses. If you ever catch them, they’ll gaslight you with nonsense explanations. Even if you track their location, they’ll claim Google is wrong.
Additionally, If you need to find out about a Cheating Narcissist; send a request to: MetaspyClubLLC@gmail. com
Thank you for sharing .