You know that person who always says the most outlandish, hurtful thing – then sits back with a smirk, just waiting for the reaction? That’s the narcissistic provocateur, and they’re everywhere right now, from social media to family gatherings to the workplace. They live for the fight, the attention, the chaos—but what happens if you don’t take the bait? Let’s break down who they are, why they do it, and the one power move that shuts them down.
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My former sister in law is like that. She says a lot of mean, insensitive things in an attempt to start an argument. It’s about control. They take advantage of your good graces to either establish dominance or drive people away.
Also, every single person like this I’ve met has at least one enabler behind them.
Or just get an emotional reaction and feed on that anger that disrupts someone else’s life because they, the narcissist, themselves are miserable
Been there, done that. Most recently, my narc neighbor tried with me on countless occasions. I documented incidents and ignored him. I thought he would never stop bothering me
True, it’s about power and control, and as usual they have either enablers or flying monkeys
The narc coparent in my situation cannot stand that I am not on social media at all and I have had to parallel parent so he doesn’t know anything about me or my household. And it bothers him because I am so “secluded from the world”. Lol
Translation: I hate that I can’t gather information on you and troll you online.
Honestly, we aren’t missing much being off social media. More like actually living our lives. Secluded from the world is kind of how I’d describe someone who’s on all the social medias and obsessed with living through screens… 🤷🏼♀️
@lacedindarkness exactly! I have been off for four years and no other family narcs know what is going on and I honestly love it! It’s a free peace that feels amazing!
Ohhhh do i know that “smirk…” added with that, the evil stare down ….to dominate, intimidate and Try to instill Fear.
YES, YES, and YES!
Welcome to the Insane Asylum of the Narcissist among us!
@@gloriabowlin5564me too. Yes!!!!!
One of my colleagues is like this. She says disagreable things so that someone will respond and then she says she has been attacked and disrespected.
Yep starts the bs and screams victim!! Ugh
Oh, I believe you
Had a friend like that that I should have stayed away from after youth years. She’d say something insulting, snarky or do something underhanded. If I responded in defense of myself I was painted as the devil, she’d complain about me to whomever she thought would feed her sympathy. Finally learned.
This is so helpful for this time in history! Thank you so much Dr. Ramani!
OMG…in 2018 I figured out that my deceased husband (of 11 years) was a narcissist, then learned (thanks to Dr. Ramani and others along the path) what a covert/vulnerable narcissist is (that was him) and then that this covert narcissist was another level more…a negligent covert narcissist (that was definitely him). And yes, he was a troublemaker, would say the most outlandish things all for the shocked attention he got and would smirk and gaslight. And he so loved to turn everything into a discussion or an argument. Now I’ve got the final verdict on him: a negligent covert provateur narcissist. My life has been wonderful and peaceful again since a little more than a year. Tears when he died…well yes. Tears of relief and joy. I had to ‘fake’ enough when he was alive, I won’t fake grief about his demise.
What is a Negligent Covert Narcissist please? Can you please post a link or a video. Thank you
Praise His Holy Name
I found the provocatour the easiest to disengage from, the only thing I say is “ohh, friend, that says so much about you, than it says about me. And then I laugh when I see their face change, of course after that I immediately removed myself from the place so I don’t give them time to react.
😂
Good call
I find it grossly intriguing that the ex narc has a group of friends and a mentor who embraces each other, and their outwardly public narcissistic tendencies.
They do not have empathetic care for who is hurt from their verbal abuse, and put downs, its funny, right?
Wrong.
The women partners deny and disregard the degrading comments.
When i brought up and tried to discuss this with the ex narc- you know what happened…
He blamed me-
●You’re too sensitive.
●you cant take a joke
●thats the way they are
●its all in fun
●guys being guys
●youre crazy
●something is wrong with YOU
●why didnt you tell me [when the abuse happened] now its too late for me to say something
Protecting his mentor, guarding his own narc behaviors, and defending the group of vile people was eye-opening for me.
The narc husband neglected me, and dismissed my concerns about this group.
Proudly he sided with them, and walked away from [me] marriage.
I am safe, grateful, and embracing a different lifestyle.
No contact, and in the process of divorcing a narc.
It aint easy.
Thankfully, the dr ramani network exposed the ugliness of narcissistic abuse. ❤
Excellent timing for the video, I’ve had to avoid being dragged in to the mud, luckily saw the signs a fight was being picked over nothing instead of justifying myself and wasting hours of my life.
Years ago, before I knew more than I’d ever want to know about narcissism, a co-worker was like this to many others. Best way to deal with her- ignore or state the truth matter of factly and walk away. Harder to do with someone you live with-a work in progress. Thanks, Dr. Ramani. I look forward to your wisdom every day.😊
Psychedelics are just an exceptional mental health breakthrough. It’s quite fascinating how effective they are against depression and anxiety. Saved my life.
Can you help with the reliable source I would really appreciate it. Many people talk about mushrooms and psychedelics but nobody talks about where to get them. Very hard to get a reliable source here in Australia. Really need!
Yes Jefshroomies , I have a similar experience with anxiety, depression, PTSD, and addiction, and mushrooms have significantly contributed to my recovery and being clean today.
I wish those were more easily accessible where I live.
Microdosing was my next step for my husband. He’s 59 & dealing with lots of mental health challenges, possible CTE & a TBI that put him in a coma for 8 days. Unfortunately, I had to get a TPO since he’s 6’6, over 300 pounds, and showing violent behavior, constantly talking about harming others. He’s aggressive. To anyone reading this, if you’re familiar with BPD, is it common to have an obsession with violence?
Is Jefshroomies on Google ? How do I reach out to
Jefshroomies is the man
Spot on dr Ramani. ❤️Many of those who provoke on the internet get money put in their pockets for doing so. And others for getting .attention and that fleeting sense of power and control. Ultimately it’s about corruption and selling your soul , sadly. Thank you for sharing your wisdom
Once you snap, they feel justified in hating you. So getting you to react is a routine hustle for them, like a salesman getting you to sign. It also gets you to be mentally preoccupied with them, sucking the oxygen out of whatever you’re supposed to be doing.
Reminds me of what happens at awards shows………..
Not giving my narcissistic family the attention they want out of me is the challenge Im facing now.. and it’s been great so far. These videos definitely helped. 👍
I have been cornered attacked and baited by narcissists, and can’t win no matter what I do or say. I defended myself protected others grey rocked disengaged kept boundaries etc..:but it doesn’t matter, they still behave horribly, so I just avoid them despite the enablers pressure to be around them. So tired of it all. Thank you for explaining Dr Ramani that it’s not me. ❤
I heard you!! It’s so tiring.
Just know you’re not alone, there’s nothing wrong with you, I’m the same I have to avoid them as their presence drains me. xxxx Eyes wide open. x
Avoiding them is a form of self-defense. You’re protecting your peace.
If you can avoid the enablers too, that’s probably a good idea.
Paid off my credit card 3 months ago and paid my vehicle off this past paycheck. I have been extremely frugal with my spending for the past year and will continue to be so to work on my goal of financial independence. It’s a long road and arduous road, but I refuse to be a debt slave.
My biggest concern is how we are going to survive all these financial and political crises, especially the power struggle in the US. The government has really made things difficult for its citizens, and we can not just sit by and suffer the consequences of bad governance🙏
Today, I’m kicking myself for not investing in cryptocurrency. I’ve been scared because of my lack of regulation in the cryptocurrency market. Please, is there a way I can start now???
As a beginner, it’s essential for you to have a mentor to keep you accountable. Myself, l’m guided by Mrs. Sandra Maria Ferraguti. For years, I highly recommend her and focus on her. To be honest, I almost didn’t buy the idea of letting someone handle growing my finances, but I’m so glad I did. Don’t listen to skeptics; they’re just mad they didn’t get in early enough…
95,000$ and still doing the math. Mrs Sandra Maria Ferraguti is the kind of person you honestly need in your life❤️❤️❤️>>>
The best time to plant a tree was 20 years ago. The second best time is now.
Cryptocurrency is not a fad. It’s a revolution, and the future of money is digital. Investing in cryptocurrency is like investing in the early days of the internet. Crypto is the most important invention in the history of the world since the internet.
Doctor Ramani, you have a beautiful soul. I offer you a sympathetic virtual hug.
After decades of interacting with all kinds of people online I learned that these hostile provocateurs can smell fear. If you try to argue with them indignantly or react as if offended you are inviting a very bad experience. Not engaging is good advice I think; but they will often turn tail and run if they find they can’t get a rise out of you even with the worst insults. They really hate it if they think they have only managed to bore you with their most savage attacks, or if they see you maintain good humor despite their attempts to crush you. I actually have fun dealing with them these days and don’t even have to lower myself to their level to do it. It’s a great skill to learn – and boy did I go through that learning process!
Agreed sometimes those tactics are warranted if they can’t be easily avoided.
Happy for you!!! That’s the way. I am still learning but I am getting there 💪💪 every day am getting better and better.
Thank you Dr. Ramani 🏆