Are all empaths targets for narcissists?
Your empathy kept you stuck in a toxic relationship—so now, you worry that if you let your guard down, it’ll happen again. But shutting down completely isn’t the answer either. The key is learning discernment—how to trust yourself, read the patterns, and recognize the difference between genuine connection and another trap. Let’s talk about how to hold onto your empathy without letting it be used against you.
ORDER MY NYT BESTSELLING BOOK 📖 "IT'S NOT YOU"
JOIN MY HEALING PROGRAM
JOIN THE DR. RAMANI NETWORK
SIGN UP FOR MY MAILING LIST
GET INFO ABOUT MY UPCOMING PROGRAM FOR THERAPISTS
LISTEN TO MY PODCAST "NAVIGATING NARCISSISM"
Apple Podcasts:
Spotify:
Stitcher:
iHeart Radio:
DISCLAIMER: THIS INFORMATION IS FOR EDUCATIONAL PURPOSES ONLY AND IS NOT INTENDED TO BE A SUBSTITUTE FOR CLINICAL CARE. PLEASE CONSULT A HEALTH CARE PROVIDER FOR GUIDANCE SPECIFIC TO YOUR CASE. THIS VIDEO DISCUSSES NARCISSISM IN GENERAL.
THE VIDEO DOES NOT REFER TO ANY SPECIFIC PERSON, AND SHOULD NOT BE USED TO REFER TO ANY SPECIFIC PERSON, AS HAVING NARCISSISM. PERMISSION IS NOT GRANTED TO LINK TO OR REPOST THIS VIDEO, ESPECIALLY TO SUPPORT AN ALLEGATION THAT THE MAKERS OF THIS VIDEO BELIEVE, OR SUPPORT A CLAIM, THAT A SPECIFIC PERSON IS A NARCISSIST. THAT WOULD BE AN UNAUTHORIZED MISUSE OF THE VIDEO AND THE INFORMATION FEATURED IN IT.
Most empaths are likely to be targets for narcissists. They see our kindness and compassion as a weakness.
Stop giving yourself a “LIKE”, SO SHAMELESS. DON’T YOU HAVE ENOUGH CONFIDENCE IN YOUR COMMENTS? BTW, TRY WATCHING THE VIDEOS FOR A CHANGE BEFORE MAKING COMMENTS.
They’ll claim they’re the empathetic ones and you’re selfish. All a sick game to them.
…a weakness to be exploited for their personal gain.
@@Spartan7646 all caps?? You can share without shouting
I’m in a roommate situation now. I was helping a dude here. A common criminal and a narcissist. He started gaslighting me. Taking stuff out of my room. Stole my car spare key. My car is antique he put 40 miles on it last night. I had no clue he was also a narcissist. He’s ghetto actually. It’s housing provided by the city. His objective is to make me look crazy. So he doesn’t be exposed as a thief. I wrote all this down but being I have no photos of him or videos pulling his crap. They think im crazy! Not crazy like a narc. Just like the film gaslight! I have to find another place to live and they’re questioning my sanity. I just wrote what the narc has been doing. I’m going to look into legal aid. Seems NO One knows about narcissism bs! I’ve had narcs pull this on me before. Even my psychopathic father pulled an underhanded material gaslight on me once. I have used discernment btw. And people are people and narcs are narcs. Being this narc is more criminal in nature may try legal aid. I know he has gaslit other roommates one punched out all his front teeth an another stabbed him. He’s of low intelligence but highly criminally minded. Just going nuts here who wouldn’t? Why doesn’t our legal system see this. I’m pretty much homeless due to narcissistic abuse in the first place!! I can’t believe I’m dealing with another one!! 😢
I will always be an empath, but I’m always on high alert and listening to my intuition around people…
It can be a double edged sword. It’s caused me great paranoia. To trust others after being abused and targeted
The issue I find being empathic is it’s psychic.?I don’t think we realize this ! I’m still trying to listen to my gut and take appropriate actions. Nobody taught us how to deal with this much less listen to it !
Narcissists will even target other narcissists as they are very competitive and also thrive on chaos. They mirror each other, thinking they’ve found someone at their level, and it becomes a challenge of who’s the more dominant.
True I lived with a couple both narcissist. They lied and totally bs each other. The female narcissist is usually a winning covert narc. I believe the dude was malignant. I moved an ran never looking back
Yup. I’ve seen this. They formed a team and harmed many others together and got a lot of power and authority over vulnerable people. It’s horrifying. Think T and Epstein.
Overt attracts covert 😉
I have a neighbor who is a Covert and moved in his girlfriend about two years ago… I think she is a Covert as well, but has a more victim vibe.
I’m wondering how long it will last because she is trying to control me by telling me what I should or need to do with my own house. My house is very well maintained, and I keep my yard tidy, but of course, she always has something to say.
How long can two Coverts last living together? Seriously asking!
Empathetic people believe and project onto others THEIR good traits. Narcissists bleed empathy dry, then accuse them of being the bad one. My mother appears empathetic and kind but it’s self serving, she loves playing rescuer and getting in the drama but ask her for something and she is a cold fish. Everything they do is to ‘look’ good and assuage guilt blame and shame but they’ll never have your back when you truly need them. An empath will sacrifice for you, a narcissist will sacrifice you to save themselves. Narcissists know this and continue to con youm get sick and they won’t want to know but they’ll look good with the chicken soup! Tell everyone what they do for you and that you’re ungrateful!
Yup !.my last ex blamed me for finding out that he was chasing other women 😂.He convinced himself I was sneaky and untrustworthy so I was the “ bad “ one .I don’t hate him but the extent they will go through to convince themselves they don’t have issues like we all do is absolutely insane !.
WOW! Yes! This sounds exactly like my narc sister-in-law to a T!!! I’m an empathetic person. We have been no contact for years now and now I’ll have to be subject to her abuse once again at a family wedding in July. I’ll do my best to be cordial but guarded. I’m sure she’ll do everything in her power to look good for the family but I’m 100% sure the daggers and traps will be there.
That word you spoke, ” untrustworthy” ohhh if i only had a dime for each time i was told that i was the untrustworthy one, i would be in the one percenters club!@Kris-sf2qf
I have experienced this in the workplace many times. It has really caused problems in my life..I am thankful for Dr. Ramani because now I understand this stuff better. I have really struggled with “seeing the best in others” and projecting onto others my good empathy traits. You nailed it in that first sentence, 💯%
Self sacrifice is ego driven just as narcissism is. Both imbalanced, delusional, self serving. The need to appear holly at the expense of the authentic self. I don’t see the beauty in abandoning the child within all of us just to go deal with someone else first.
Ground zero here…..I am tired of being an empath, I am working on boundaries, boundaries with barbed wire on top…I will always be an empath, the world needs more empaths, especially now.
You are empathetic. You are not an empath.
I ask myself: “Is this connection a net positive to me?” If they are hurting you, more than being a benefit…time to walk away.”
@@melisentiapheiffer3034 Interesting comment. If there are no empaths, then there are no narcissists, either…
Often the result of CPTSD
Dr. Ramani is the best person to get full knowledge about narcissists! We all love you Dr. Ramani.
We all ❤ Dr. Ramani. Have you checked her out on Fireside App? I see her there too
They target everyone and anyone but a few become their primary supply..
High empathy people are the fish who stay on the narcissist’s hook for far too long
Having a narcissistic mother with a narcissistic family ,I felt like an anomaly for having a conscience and caring.Now I don’t think we we can enough empathy in the world. It is the key to healthy behavior and a saner world.
Beautifully said ❤
Now I’m in the period when I want as much time alone as possible and reflect a lot on the toxic pattern I had been through.
Hearing what Dr Ramani said in this video is like the feeling of drinking cold water at home after a tiring activity under the heat. Thank you!
Thank you so much for this video. I’m an empath. Just being one can be exhausting. Thank you. It’s very hard to be this way and destroyed constantly by evil people. I stopped analysing people and started to just observed how my body was reacting around these people. When my body started to react in a very negative way I trusted my gut and left.
Always trust your gut! My gut knows things before my brain even fires
@@jodycasey6936 I made the mistake of not trusting my gut a few times never again.
I kept attracting the wrong people, stuck in the same frustrating cycle without knowing why. Looking back, I see how deeply I was trapped in toxic patterns. Then I found Red Vibration by Keezano, and it was the wake-up call I needed. It helped me understand attraction on a whole new level. I made a few key changes, and suddenly, I started attracting the right kind of people. That’s how I met my wife- this book truly changed my life🙏🏼
l totally agree, amazing book
just bought it☺
I agree🙏
There are a lot of people who have done good work with therapy and can no longer afford therapy; these videos are a great resource and an important bridge in the gaps for people seeking help. It may not be a replacement for therapy but is a critical juncture. Thank you.
They think an Empaths great people skills are a threat. At work, church, community organisation, family – they will start smear campaign. You don’t have to be in a relationship with them at all to be targeted. Just in the same group.
Detachment with love from the narcissist doesn’t mean you engage PERSONALLY, but that you find a way to detach without fear or guilt – but “empathic discernment,” is a first for me — I LIKE it!
I was out for my walk the other day and I passed my most recent narcissist. He saw me and I saw him and neither of us said anything. But it sent me into a spiral of “What could I have done to save this friendship? What did I do wrong?” And that’s what narcissists do: they make you feel responsible for everything, and they get all the benefits. So I’ve been trying to remind myself of all the things he did to me, how he lied, all his double standards. But there is still that part of me that wants to fix our unfixable friendship, that wants to just take all the blame, thinking that by doing this I won’t feel this pain anymore.
But I will. No matter what, the pain of empathy will still be there. I will still blame myself somehow. God, this sucks.
Our brains likes to find solutions to problems. He was the problem, so don’t fix what was meant to be broken.
Oh Dr Ramani how spot on.
My stoic empathetic self wasn’t depleted. Surely I felt like the narc sucked every ounce of my soul out if me.
He didn’t.
Before the separation, I sent a text to him saying, you win, you broke my stoicism.
He didn’t.
In the admist of a brutal divorce, his control is financial abuse.
I have had No contact for 477 days.
Thats my win.
He’s financially abusing right now, but, my freedom is the win.
No more days and nights of contemptuous triangulated conversations.
My win.
He will not change, my change happened the day I left my home, and the assh0le.
My win.
I may be homeless, penniless, and starting at ground zero-forged in fire, and I’m rising like a Phoenix.
My win.
Empathic discernment was only possible for me after a couple of years of radical acceptance. I am now also practising discernment with my generosity and kindness. I am kind and generous to the people who truly care about my well being and not those bottomless pit narcissistic and psychopathic types.
Empathy is not agreement or leniency; it’s recognition of another’s situation, as truly as you can see it.
Finally! A healthy, wise, balanced approach and voice of reason. Someone who truly understands. Thank you!
I’m on my spiritual healing journey and have been in therapy throughout my 60 yrs. Last August 2024, my adult kids started to give me the silent treatment. We live next door to each other. Watching your videos gives me hope. I also bought your book. Thank you very much ❤️