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How narcissists make you believe you’re crazy – and lucky to have them

They gaslight you into believing you’re too sensitive, too dramatic, too much—until you start to believe it yourself. And just when you’re questioning your own reality, they hit you with, but I love you anyway. It’s not just manipulation—it’s a trap that keeps you feeling both unworthy and grateful at the same time. Let’s break down how this works, why it’s so powerful, and how to see it for what it really is. ORDER MY NYT BESTSELLING BOOK 📖 "IT'S NOT YOU"

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DISCLAIMER: THIS INFORMATION IS FOR EDUCATIONAL PURPOSES ONLY AND IS NOT INTENDED TO BE A SUBSTITUTE FOR CLINICAL CARE. PLEASE CONSULT A HEALTH CARE PROVIDER FOR GUIDANCE SPECIFIC TO YOUR CASE. THIS VIDEO DISCUSSES NARCISSISM IN GENERAL.

THE VIDEO DOES NOT REFER TO ANY SPECIFIC PERSON, AND SHOULD NOT BE USED TO REFER TO ANY SPECIFIC PERSON, AS HAVING NARCISSISM. PERMISSION IS NOT GRANTED TO LINK TO OR REPOST THIS VIDEO, ESPECIALLY TO SUPPORT AN ALLEGATION THAT THE MAKERS OF THIS VIDEO BELIEVE, OR SUPPORT A CLAIM, THAT A SPECIFIC PERSON IS A NARCISSIST. THAT WOULD BE AN UNAUTHORIZED MISUSE OF THE VIDEO AND THE INFORMATION FEATURED IN IT.

Andrew McLaurin
 

  • @megalorain says:

    I absolutely LOVE you Dr. Just wanted to say this without any expectations.

  • @Jacob_Gust says:

    Once you heal and go no contact, you will feel even luckier that you left them.

  • @twovirginiacats3753 says:

    I grew up being told I had problems and needed to go to therapy. As an adult I finally did, with several different therapists over the years, but could never really figure out what my problem was. I suffered from low self-esteem for years. Thanks to Dr. Ramani and a few other channels over the past few years I look at things in an entirely different light.

    • @BeStillNow says:

      Thank you for sharing this. What are the other channels?

    • @nicolehayes6020 says:

      Same thing happened to me ofc I had no clue what I was dealing with until about 2 years ago when I found out that I was dealing with narcissistic abuse from my mother and her entire toxic side of the family! I remember thinking, how are these people gonna tell me who I am!?! They don’t know me at all! Where is this coming from? However I was whatever they said I was and that was that…so on 11/14/2024, packed some things, daughter and pup and walked away in silence w my head held high! NO CONTACT. BLOCK & DELETE. NEVER TO RETURN ❤🙏✌️💪🌹🤷🏻‍♀️💯

    • @nicolehayes6020 says:

      @@BeStillNowIk you weren’t asking me but I happened to see this so I wanted to let you know, Narcdaily is unbelievable! His name is Andrew and Dr Jerry Wise is also great! Check them out. They and Dr Ramani got me to where I am today ❤️🙏✌️

    • @averyeich9726 says:

      @@nicolehayes6020I hope to have your courage. I had dirvorced parents sabotage my brothers relationships with me and the entire family. Mainly my dad abusing and my mom enabling like only Catholics would…

  • @Beth.Free1224 says:

    Thank you! I needed this so much ❤ I didn’t realize how many of my “friends” have said derogatory things about me especially my ex. I get an ick feeling that doesn’t set well with me. I appreciate this enlightening video!

    • @costelloandlizzievolk2233 says:

      I can 💯 relate to this. So many of my ‘friends’ and ex’s said mean things about me or the way I look or whatever, things I would never say to them…I’d now rather not have people like that in my life! Realizing friends don’t talk to friends that way! It’s an icky feeling for sure! ❤

  • @lostnomads1890 says:

    Word by word true, I have lived every word…. It’s a kind of feeling why I have wasted my time, efforts and emotions. It was so sublet and slow never in my worst dream I could think where I was going in this marriage. And when I asked, why don’t you leave me if I am crazy, ” because I love you, no one else can do it”.

  • @velvetgardenia says:

    Omg. The lead in line. YES, yes, 1000 times yes. Thank you for existing, Dr. Ramani!

  • @357xiong says:

    I was in a narcissistic relationship for almost 20 years. I had no clue what this personality type was. The verbal abuse, the control, rage, weekly temper tantrums and constant cheating. I blamed myself for a very long time. Thank goodness I found your channel a few years ago. I was able to understand this behavior and I finally left. I still struggle sometimes but I feel free and can finally find some peace. You saved my life. Thank you Dr Ramani.

    • @twovirginiacats3753 says:

      I had a narcissistic relationship with my ex for over 40 years (off and on). He would weave in and out of our lives and I literally had very little control over it. He was highly manipulative. The wife he had following me helped me out a lot. Their relationship was even more toxic than the one I had with the narc. She and he ended up in court ordered therapy. This was in the late 90’s and it was the first time I heard the word narcissist. Things started to make a lot more sense after that.

    • @kristenbogroff4864 says:

      Exactly my story, too! I am endlessly thankful for having found Dr. Ramani!!!

  • @QX-xq5uj says:

    I can relate absolutely to this gaslighting narrative which my Ex used to make me feel crazy and confused. Fact is he never was accountable for HIS bad behaviour, instead he said: I love you anyway or… nobody’s gonna ever love you like I do!

  • @angelamartin2336 says:

    Thank you for sharing your wisdom, Dr Ramani. Helpful, useful healing

  • @aspiringcoconut6561 says:

    I experienced this exactly. It took so many months to heal. I’m still healing but the majority of the work is behind me. It took forever to get her voice out of my head.

  • @fredchongvideos says:

    My mom started calling me a monster, and said she loved me anyway. And I started to believe it, and it took decades for me to realize she was gaslighting me. I worry I’m a narcissist, too – and it took time to learn it wasn’t me. And to find that safety. I love my mom, and miss her, and eventually she changed. Her real face was kind, and quiet, and sweet – and she got that face back. She owned and dealt with that stuff. And for me, every day is a chance to do the work. To reparent myself. To own it when I’m acting badly or have treated someone badly. And to recognize that those moments are rare – because the story I was told about me wasn’t true. And all around me are people now who remind me of the truth. I feel seen by Dr. Ramani’s videos, and I appreciate what she has to say so much.

    • @sparkygump says:

      The fact you are self aware, proves you’re not a narc.

    • @dontbelongherefromanother says:

      She was gaslighting you. Narcs are notorious for making backhanded compliments and insults to their victims. They know exactly what they’re doing, and they’re driven to destroy the self-esteem and confidence of their target

  • Anonymous says:

    I was scapegoated and accused of having mental health issues when what I experienced was child abuse. I lived for decades believing what my abusers projected onto me until I went nc.
    I realized that I was very normal, but what I experienced was not and the isolation I endured added to it. Depression in childhood and SI is not normal.

    Healing now and grateful that I am not an abusive person to someone else.

    • @christinelamb1167 says:

      Wow, I relate so much, and could have written exactly what you did!

    • @AlexandriaDaniels0825 says:

      I am so very sorry that this happened to you. Compounding abuse with denial is a spirit-destroying combination. Happy you’re here to tell your story 🙏

    • @thoughtsonredbudhill says:

      Oh my goodness, same. 😢 I’m so glad you got out!

    • @Ivar-V says:

      Me too

    • @Ivar-V says:

      The silver lining is I studied a lot of science and mathematics, philosophy, and religion to ground myself in reality. I try continually to be the anti narcissist or even better… a real person.

  • @Know1uknow-g5h says:

    “Narcissistic relationships…where healthy love goes to die.”

    I want to have this printed on every coffee mug in my house.

  • @FraFromItaly says:

    Thank you.
    I knew this dynamic… Yet I needed (and I still need) to hear it again. I need to stay in touch with the truth, more times a day. Listening to the reality is therapeutic itself. It’s one of my anchors. Thank you.

  • @glindaschannel says:

    Thanks Dr Ramni! Youre helping me stay sane, while I work on getting out ❤

  • @TorgerVedeler says:

    Here’s a trick that I had a narcissist pull: They will be extra generous to put you more and more in their debt, but of course this comes at a terrible cost you may not see. Because they will then demand complete obedience, and if you don’t give it, the rage comes out without mercy. So not only do they say “I put up with your neurotic behavior so you owe me”, but also “I have been materially generous to you even though you’re a mess and don’t deserve it. So you owe me.”

    It’s a trap. You are nothing but an object to them, and a slave.

  • @sparkygump says:

    When you don’t understand why and what they’re doing to you, it definitely makes you feel crazy.

  • @AlexandriaDaniels0825 says:

    Super validating and much needed reminder 🙏Anyone who loves another is doing so despite their flaws. When someone feels the need to point that out or emphasize it, its always manipulation. They will create chaos then call you chaotic, create the need and then call you needy, deny the truth then call you demanding.

    You’re right that the only way to survive it is to reject the false labels and convenient denials and remind ourselves of how our Creator sees us. Thats the only assessment that ultimately matters.

  • @blu-r7h says:

    If people who hear these things only knew the deeper truths. Keeping my truth is getting better even tho I can internalize at times and that’s a rabbit hole I try to not go down. I still need these videos for the tools to keep learning and adapting to a healthier life. Thanks. Dr. Ramani, team and all of you here.

  • @Charlotteesister says:

    I was stuck in the same cycle—attracting the wrong people, feeling frustrated, and not knowing why. Red Vibration by Keezano gave me the wake-up call I needed. It helped me understand attraction in a way I never had before. I made a few key changes, and suddenly, I started attracting the right kind of people. That’s how I met my husband

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