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Andrew McLaurin
It’s ok when I do it.
It’s ok to do it when people disrespect you
@mariaridler1831mostly just when I do it.
I’ve heard that before. God forbid if someone does it to you. Lesson learned: discuss breakup protocol before birth control methods, assuming you accept the responsibility of being an adult which is getting rare among all adults. Male, female and all combinations known to modern science.
No it is not. Some of us have to isolate from them.
I love all your content so much you have truly helped healed so many things in my life your an amazing beautiful human being this was definitely your calling in life thank you this world is better with you in it ❤❤❤
she discarded me, 7 months later calls like nothing happened. she ghosted me so she wouldn’t be held accountable for her collateral damage she caused and completely walked away clean
I’ve Ghosted people in order to protect my Sanity and my Peace.
Agree 💯
Me too
Ghosting can be the safest option.
If you walk away from someone who refuses to respect your boundaries and refuses to take accountability for their actions, it is am act of ending a relationship. You may refer to it as ghosting in order to feel like a victim, but NO ONE owes you a relationship with them.
Unless it’s a case of physical violence both people in a committed relationship, at some time during that period, have a responsibility at the end of the relationship. The person being dumped, the dumper should have the right to air their grievances regarding the promised commitments, the betrayal, the deception and related factors contributing to his/her departure. Their instinct is to run and hide. Can you run and hide from a traffic cop when you are going 90mph because you were late for work? NO! Same applies to a long term relationship that didn’t end well. You have to justify your change in feeling that were once so enthralling. For the dumped, they have the responsibility to stay focused on specifics, not generalities. Like “you promised we would get married by June of next year or I’ll pay 1/2 the rent for the whole duration of the one year lease weather I stay or go, or, you said you liked cats until you tried to poison one of them, how sick are you? Those all deserve answers. No answers then call the ASPCA about the cat and get an attorney for the rent or small claims court, especially if the magistrate is a female. Both people that commit to a monogamous medium term exclusive relationship should have societal responsibilities so as to prevent the WBTYM syndrome (wham bam thank you mam). It not written on stone tablets but relationships should have ethical standards, don’t you think?
My covert, social narcissist let me in the lurch after a 18 year marriage. She said she would help me pack up the house to get it ready for the new owners. As soon as we closed on the house and she got 1/2 of the money, pretty much 1/2 of my net worth she left to live with her sister 800 miles away and then went no contact. I’m 78 and had to do 90% if the moving labor. My X picked the cutest youngest sales agent who got his balls handed to him by a predatory buyer’s agent who charged me $2500 for being 2 days late moving out. Nobody moved in for about 6 days after I turned in the keys. The buyers agent broke the law and title company could care less. Useless toilet paper.
If I would have had something in writing that didn’t allow Snow White to run away from the big bad wolf (me) we could have resolved some of these details in a civilized manner. What she did is she Grey Rocked me with the help of her sister (a psychologist PhD) by no contacting me after agreeing to minor interactions to settle any unfinished business. The no contact was the best thing for me. I hope she felt like sh_t!
In closing both the dumper and the dumpee have adult responsibilities in relationships that last longer than a few weeks and involve emotional and physical intimacy.
I think we found the problem.
And calling the judge a “female” as if the official is no more than an animal…
Your partner followed protocol to get away from you. She owes you no pleasantries.
It’s a self protection with antagonistic people.
Ghosting is not always cowardly because you know what I don’t know you or anybody an explanation or anything and that’s the way everybody needs to think I have friends ask me all the time which they do about the situation. I say nothing you don’t know that person anything you’ve done enough.
The genuine motives of ghosting are key, and wont abusers just abuse the motive
When people show me a toxic pattern, I don’t argue or try to fix it. I exit. Life is too short.
I do too because it’s not my responsibility to teach people to treat others with respect.
When it’s toxic, ghosting is for my peace and protection.
I befriended someone and took them under my wing, treated them like a sibling and even gave them their own room in my home. Whenever this person came around to hang out, they would leave and ghost me. At first I would panic and think something had happened to them and I would reach out to them, but they would not answer until they were ready or after I begged enough. Once I was so worried I reached out to their biological sibling overseas to ask if they had heard from said person. Said person would normally respond casually like nothing happened. I explained that since we were the only ones in our city with no family nearby we should keep in touch in case of emergency, so in the event I don’t hear from them I know it is an emergency or something has happened. The last time they came to my home, and we had a fun time. I normally cook, we watch tv shows and play games or go out together. The next morning they went out with friends and went straight to ignoring me , taking days to respond and finally said they were disconnecting. No explanation nothing, so I just left it alone. This person never reached out again and I haven’t heard from them since.
Weirdest experience ever, but I accept their decision. Maybe I wanted the friendship and they wanted my skills. I grieved it and moved on.
I wanted my sanity back and know I was brave not cowardly. I am not afraid anymore. Now my hair (and my eyelashes from crying) stopped falling out. My nails are growing back. I can breathe again and concentrate on my job, my home, my life. I’ve accepted they’re all gone (5 siblings) because they alone caused me to let them go. Their combined abuse could no longer be tolerated just for money and at my cost. I am free and they can wallow in their own pain without having me to blame. They’re all broke and I am blessed with a good job, my own home, and an abusive-free life. A family was always sacred to me. It obviously wasn’t to them.
Emotional disapprence is there
Whether it’s toxic or not has to do wwith the “why.”
I “ghosted” my mother. What I was doing was going NC. I didn’t tell her I was going NC, or why. I didn’t “set a boundary” ahead of time to warn her that she was pushing it, and I won’t apologize for that. I’d set multiple boundaries before and her response to boundaries was to violate the boundary/attack me/play victim/shame me and/or manipulate. Telling her I was going NC and why would have been an invitation for her to both renew her BS with me and wail to the world.
On the flip side, a friend “ghosted” me. What I eventually found out was that she had decided to limit herself to the people who absolutely required her energy. That included not putting her energy into explanations, discussions, and possibly arguments. When I found out, I sent her a message saying I knew, I understood, and I was really proud of her.
She’d been crazy over-extended since I met her. Ghosting a bunch of people might have made others unhappy. I saw it as an act of self-care, and a courageous one.
Hi Dr Ramani
I have ghosted abusive narcissists because it’s pathological. It’s not about me; nothing I say will change it. They aren’t confused just mad I escaped.
Dr. Ramani I live your glasses on you! 🤓 This is a good topic. My ex NARC is likely crying “she ghosted me.”