My Escape from an Abusive Marriage: A Conversation with Dr. Ruth
Dr. Ramani sits down with Dr. Ruth, a statistician, survivor advocate, and creator of Healing by the Numbers, for a conversation about abuse awareness, recovery after toxic relationships, and the personal story behind her viral “Escape Plan” series. After leaving an abusive marriage in 2023, Dr. Ruth began publicly documenting her experience, blending personal storytelling with research and emotional insight. Her work has since resonated with hundreds of thousands of people across social media, and she now creates educational resources and support initiatives for survivors full time.
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DISCLAIMER: THIS INFORMATION IS FOR EDUCATIONAL PURPOSES ONLY AND IS NOT INTENDED TO BE A SUBSTITUTE FOR CLINICAL CARE. PLEASE CONSULT A HEALTH CARE PROVIDER FOR GUIDANCE SPECIFIC TO YOUR CASE. THIS VIDEO DISCUSSES NARCISSISM IN GENERAL.
THE VIDEO DOES NOT REFER TO ANY SPECIFIC PERSON, AND SHOULD NOT BE USED TO REFER TO ANY SPECIFIC PERSON, AS HAVING NARCISSISM. PERMISSION IS NOT GRANTED TO LINK TO OR REPOST THIS VIDEO, ESPECIALLY TO SUPPORT AN ALLEGATION THAT THE MAKERS OF THIS VIDEO BELIEVE, OR SUPPORT A CLAIM, THAT A SPECIFIC PERSON IS A NARCISSIST. THAT WOULD BE AN UNAUTHORIZED MISUSE OF THE VIDEO AND THE INFORMATION FEATURED IN IT.
🙋🏼♀️ 28 years of narcissism I can’t wait to hear this. I’m so done with this man.
I have watch her whole series, I love how she is giving so many people in abusive relationships a voice! Speaking the quit part out loud. Hearing it makes you feel less alone, hearing it helps you realize it is abuse, and seeing someone on the other side give you hope. Both of you have helped me heal from my very narcissistic, abusive ex. Thank you both!
Thank you for giving me courage 💓
Bravo to this woman and any woman that dares to expose a narcissist.
For there are many women on the other side who become bullies against other women.
Let’s all the women break the cycle of abuse BUT together with honesty and care !
38 years didn’t know
❤
Me too, 41 years. Once you know, there’s no unseeing it. Sending hugs. I’m out now. Best 6 years and am enjoying life and reacquainting myself with myself.
Abusing Wife 38 years didn’t know
Thanks Dr. R.
So happy to see my too favorite inspiring couches tohether! I am truly greatfull for your work. Greetings from Sweden!
What Dr. Ruth is doing is so important, there are so many people out there still in the middle of it, who don’t even have the language yet to describe what’s happening to them. Having someone who’s lived it AND can break it down with research and data makes this so much more accessible. The “Escape Plan” series sounds like it could genuinely be a lifeline for someone who needs a clear, practical path forward. Dr. Ramani and Dr. Ruth in the same room is a combination that could change lives. Hoping this reaches everyone who needs it. 💙
Once I realized I was trapped in an marriage to a covert narcissist, I began planning my escape. Save money on the side, got a job that would support me and my needs alone, separate bank accounts, built up credit on my own without him knowing.
I put all the pieces in place to be able to Segway into a new life.
Turns out I also learned how to regain my power which sent him over the edge; he became very dangerous and I was able to get a protection order and an abuse based on domestic abuse, all of which he was responsible for paying for.
I can breathe, sleep and relax again for the first time in 25 years.
Well done and respect to you.
Congratulations on freeing yourself! Sounds like Sleeping with the enemy. 😮
Excellent Doc. !!! Thanks a lot!!!!! You’re so helpful !!
Detective work actually😊
20 years. Wish I had her sooner
I can’t write what I really want to write, but I’m glad you’re out of that relationship.😊
I had to Use every Strategic Counter Espionage Counter Intelligence Subterfuge to carefully escape the Covert Machiavellian Dark Triad Malignant Narcissist that had me surrounded by all his adoring flying monkey enablers and spies. My heart ACHES for anybody in a similar situation
Smart lady! This is survival 👏
Super triggering 😢 but also very good to have both of you for support. But like for real, what is wrong with people why do they do this?! 😡
This hits so close to home. Thank God I’m now healing.
After 13 years, I finally spoke to a cop a few weeks ago. I made the mistake of leaving a document on my right not to be abused on the table. He tried to force a meaningless conversation about his future plans and I ignored him. He then blamed me for everything wrong bc i never offer any input as if he has ever listened when I do. He tried bossing me around but I didn’t budge. Then he said “the judge is gonna side with me.” And given that we live in Texas, he’s probly right. There will be no justice for what he’s done except maybe karmic. The most hurtful thing you can do to a narcissist is nothing at all. Let time take it’s toll as they get old, weak and feeble and become what they hate.
Seeing Dr. Ruth’s videos came too late to help with my own escape plan therefore I had to wing it on my own, but it helped me process what I had gone through. I can still distantly remember the feeling of being in the moment having to suffer through him intimidating and yelling at me, humiliating and shaming me, threatening and blackmailing me and just having to take it or ineffectually fighting back and feeling so helpless. The most horrifying part of all was realizing how much smaller than him I was and he still chose to terrorize me for decades yet at times claim he loved me. 41 years wasted. I finally decided I didn’t need that kind of love.
Going on for decades. Listening to this, I totally relate 💔 Right now, I’m shaking, crying & nauseous.