The 2 Types of People Who Stay With Narcissists
Are you trauma bonded — or is there something else keeping you in a toxic relationship with a narcissist? While trauma bonding explains a powerful emotional pull, it doesn’t tell the whole story for everyone. In this video, we break down the key differences, why some people stay even with full awareness, and what this means for understanding your situation.
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DISCLAIMER: THIS INFORMATION IS FOR EDUCATIONAL PURPOSES ONLY AND IS NOT INTENDED TO BE A SUBSTITUTE FOR CLINICAL CARE. PLEASE CONSULT A HEALTH CARE PROVIDER FOR GUIDANCE SPECIFIC TO YOUR CASE. THIS VIDEO DISCUSSES NARCISSISM IN GENERAL.
THE VIDEO DOES NOT REFER TO ANY SPECIFIC PERSON, AND SHOULD NOT BE USED TO REFER TO ANY SPECIFIC PERSON, AS HAVING NARCISSISM. PERMISSION IS NOT GRANTED TO LINK TO OR REPOST THIS VIDEO, ESPECIALLY TO SUPPORT AN ALLEGATION THAT THE MAKERS OF THIS VIDEO BELIEVE, OR SUPPORT A CLAIM, THAT A SPECIFIC PERSON IS A NARCISSIST. THAT WOULD BE AN UNAUTHORIZED MISUSE OF THE VIDEO AND THE INFORMATION FEATURED IN IT.
I was wondering this
Let narcissists date just don’t let them reproduce it’s really bad for the children
People stay for various reasons, such as children, unconditional love, memories, assets, and so on. Many people especially if it’s their first marriage, stay trauma bonded even after they are dumped by the narc, until they realise that the narc will never change and they don’t need to change anymore for the narc, at this point, they will accept the harsh truth and have peace, so the trauma bond starts to break!
I’ve been in both situations. It’s the pattern recognition that is key. Every situation has different reasons for staying and/or leaving. Imo: No relationship is easy to emotionally break free from.
After 38 yrs Yes it can be done. Healing definitely takes longer even with a licensed Psychologist. She’s amazing and encouraging as I continue to grow. I had the tendencies towards trauma bonding. Awareness is the key….
This is such an important distinction. I would also add that for a lot of people, it’s not even the narcissist they are bonded to, it’s the version of themselves they were when they first fell in love. Leaving means grieving a whole identity, not just a person.
Great point, thank you!
@anetapietraszko5094you are welcome ❤
Actually the main problem is how someone feels about themselves… you’re so depressed and beat down- filled with shame and self doubt at best and low self worth . That’s why people can’t walk away
This 💯
That is the essence of it! Start working on you! On yourself! For some weeks, try this! While I DO admitIt’s hard, but while maybe not changing the other party involved, It WILL change you!
And at the end, that what it’s all about ❤
I knew a former friend like that whom I helped financially until I finally had to stop. The abuse she endured was beyond belief, including physical violence. Yet, after 35 years, she has never left. The same cycle of suffering, complaining, reconciliation, and survival continues. But then I know another woman whom I would never recklessly advise to leave because I genuinely believe her husband would kill her. She has been with him since age 16. Forty years together, financially bonded, deeply trauma bonded, and with little meaningful family support. The history of threats and extreme abuse makes the situation highly dangerous. I hope her therapist will not advise her to leave
My friend is a Type 2. Her husband can go from funny and warm to cold and aggressive in five minutes. It happens when even a slight inconvenience occurs. I witnessed him screaming at my friend over the phone, and she just takes it as it comes. I haven’t told her my opinion, nor do I ever want to. But that guy is insufferable to me.
Whew. My ex was like this. It could and often did happen literally as fast as one blinks or sneezes.
Narcissists have the road map to everything in life.
Yeah. It’s a map to hell for the people around them.
Malignant narcissists is the last stop on the train before you hit psychopathy station
Don’t Go DEEP:
🚫 Don’t Defend
🚫 Don’t Engage
🚫 Don’t Explain
🚫 Don’t Personalize
Couldn’t they both be narcissists, as long as they share a common goal? Things will probably end badly eventually, but while it lasts…
Min 15ish… the next person MAY get better than me and what I suffered for… impossible to “earn” love…
After 34 years of marriage my divorce was final on May 12. I am so grateful for what Dr. Ramani taught me that gave me the courage to do this. Thank you Dr. Ramani.
Congrats luv!
Im so proud of u.
It is gonna be a long road to healing but this is the beginning! Only blue skies from here!!!
Many blessing ahead to you ahead…I know peace will be one of them for you. Congratulations. #yolo
CONGRATULATIONS THAT WAS VERY RECENT I hope you are doing better and I wish the best for you <3
@cemetarygates2800peace is already here. I can’t explained what has really happen inside of me but he no longer has power over me. Quite the opposite.
@Lampshade123I can see a future already. Before I could not dream anymore. Now, the door to life has been flung open. Even at 75 years old, I see a future.
“Don’t they even care?”
NO! They don’t give a damn. Sooner one reazlies this the better.
Givers empathy lots of people stay with narcissists
I’m thankful that I’m not married to a Narcissist, and that I’m good at “smelling and avoiding” personality disorders. Narcissists are very unstable, and they’ll never change or get better, they get worse with age. Thanks Dr. Ramani.
May i offer a third type? Not bonded, can laugh off his bad behavior, but has been SPIRITUALLY manipulated to believe their eternal soul is in jeopardy. This external manipulation can also come from family.
This is so helpful. Maybe I’m not trauma bonded. I tell my therapist I have fantasies of having my own place, just me and the cats. I actually had a dream about that too and have often dreamed about new homes or new apartments in other cities that I choose on my own. My marriage is like pushing a rock uphill every day but the thought of being alone feels like lightness, energy and joy. Thank you, Dr. Ramani.