The Narcissist Who Hides Behind Being a Good Person
Some narcissistic people build their identity around being seen as kind, caring, and selfless. They may be admired for their generosity, compassion, and commitment to helping others. But what happens when that image is questioned? In this video, we'll explore a lesser-known form of narcissism and why the moments when the mask slips can be some of the most revealing.
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DISCLAIMER: THIS INFORMATION IS FOR EDUCATIONAL PURPOSES ONLY AND IS NOT INTENDED TO BE A SUBSTITUTE FOR CLINICAL CARE. PLEASE CONSULT A HEALTH CARE PROVIDER FOR GUIDANCE SPECIFIC TO YOUR CASE. THIS VIDEO DISCUSSES NARCISSISM IN GENERAL.
THE VIDEO DOES NOT REFER TO ANY SPECIFIC PERSON, AND SHOULD NOT BE USED TO REFER TO ANY SPECIFIC PERSON, AS HAVING NARCISSISM. PERMISSION IS NOT GRANTED TO LINK TO OR REPOST THIS VIDEO, ESPECIALLY TO SUPPORT AN ALLEGATION THAT THE MAKERS OF THIS VIDEO BELIEVE, OR SUPPORT A CLAIM, THAT A SPECIFIC PERSON IS A NARCISSIST. THAT WOULD BE AN UNAUTHORIZED MISUSE OF THE VIDEO AND THE INFORMATION FEATURED IN IT.
Communal narcissist
I think all of them
Whomever chose the thumnail for this video deserves a cookie.
šÆš
Perfectly depicted the false-loving crazy eyes. šā¤
I laughed when I saw it. So good. It is possible it automatically chose that frame – i upload videos for my work and YouTube picks a random frame as the thumbnail unless you choose one yourself and some of the automatic ones are real odd frames and faces the people are making
Iām so sorry for your health/medical issues. I hope you are all better very soon. You are so special and wonderful.
They do good stuff in public but in private it’s another matter. They’re hugely concerned about what people think of them.
Yup. They’re *frauds.*
hypocrite
ā@YaffaNashwell I assume you mean they’re hypocrites, not that I am?
Caring so much what others think is sO pathetic.
Yup! That’s the whole truth! They want to project a certain picture out in public but once the door closes its totally different. Scary.
Don’t waste the time trying to figure out which type of one you are dealing with. It can help you a little, but they can be purposely confusing and trying to figure them out can keep you in the cycle longer
The easiest way to tell:
Overt = publicly charming/life bombing
Covert = Chronic Complainers
Communal = Brags about helping others and has to post about it!
ā@rhimaginemuaSounds like I work for a communal, overt one. Woo hoo
@rhimaginemua Your explanation was so helpful. Thank YOU.
I tend to agree. I think there is a such thing as a pro social communal covert narcissist though, but yes who cares about trying to figure them outā¦ theyāre all narcissists
I dont think this is helpful, *especially* when it comes to the social/ communal narcissist because of how confusing *that* specific subtype is.
You see some famous people who are like this. The ones seeking validation & attention by being photographed feeding sick children in third world countries. The bragging and boasting about helping others, is what I notice they do so much of. Think of the influence who CONSTANTLY gives things away as a VIDEO for monetizationā¦ thatās Communal Narcissism! They flip out a lot of them when you point out itās recorder instead of talking about the nice thing and not showing it off, is more common to do than having to SHOWBOAT giving back.
Thatās why true selflessness doesnāt require attention, validation, and praise, it requires quietly helping others and getting satisfaction knowing you made their lives better without expecting anything in return.
Exactly! I always say DO GOOD, QUIETLY. Leave the camera at home too.
I knew a guy like this, I worked with him and he sat across from me and he would say something exactly like, āI respect womenā but he would talk over women in meetings, and overall he just made my skin crawl, it was just a combination him constantly wanting to be perceived as good, but not actually being a good person. But when I talked about my feelings with someone, that, perhaps his virtue signaling is not genuine, they essentially thought I was a monster for disliking someone so āgoodā. So they can definitely fool people, and if you feel repulsed around them, then listen to that feeling, but maybe keep it to yourself, I donāt know, I donāt really know what the takeaway was there, I made a lot of mistakes at that point in my life so itās hard to choose.
This is my mother. She resumed mailing greeting cards immediately after my restraining order against her expired, like she had it on her calendar.
Iām sorry but itās kind of funny, like Shirley McClain in a quirky comedy.š
unreal. lol.
ā@kiwikim5163 it’s not funny at all. It’s a form of stalking. It’s scary as h*ll.
ā@netizen8171it’s a form of stalking and scary as heck.
just another evidence that narc wont change and care… I gues the restraining order touched her ego so this is how she will get back at you (in her head). Stay strong brother!
my narc ex friend is a “fixer”, trying to fix things in her friend’s life that she knows nothing about, or has no business in, unsolicited advice on career that she knows nothing about, it’s so annoying
I bet they tried to “help” you turn your hobbies into business ventures. Otherwise, why do things for fun!
So many times you conclude with, “Thanks again.” You are a gem. We thank you!
I’ve just dumped a communal narcissist after 40 years. His narcissism was mainly just irritating for the first 38, then he got a new charity project, overreached himself and got into fraud. The authorities are aware and hopefully he’ll pay for it. He won’t learn from it, though, just whine about being persecuted. Oh, well. But thanks for all your clarity on this subject, Dr Ramani.
My sister. The AIDS advocate who spearheaded the revolution in Canada in the early years. She is an HIV positive woman. I have always been so confused about how a person could do so much good when they abused so many. Particularly, me. Now I get it. Thanks!!!
This was a trait of my covert narcissist. He would do all those things then sit around the house griping that heās exhausted because everyone uses him and he wasnāt going to do anything to help anyone or āsaveā them. The truth was that he wasnāt getting the attention, public recognition, martyrdom or never ending praise he thought he deserved. When he didnāt get that from real life people, he would then make sure everyone knew how his sycophants online agreed he was the most self sacrificing, talented , kindest person in the world and agreed that real life people were abusing him. I would tell him that if he felt that way he should confront the culprits and line them out that they better never ask him for anything again. He would come up with some excuse why he wasnāt going to do that. The truth was that doing so would allow people to see through his mask and damage the image he worked tirelessly to get people to believe. He would then project those feelings of abuse and being taken advantage of onto me citing from his scroll of perceived slights going back years when we first met. It was exhausting.
It has been my experience that ānarcissistsā switch back and forth between all of the categories.
They go where the sweet stuff is.
Like wasps.
They try and learn new games. Anything that succeeds is repeated.
Sounds like the stalker old man in my neighborhood. He’s going to church every time the door is open. He grows tomatoes so that he can give them away and constantly brags about how he gives away the tomatoes. And gossips about everybody behind their back like it is his job to report every breath everybody takes.
He wouldn’t do that now. He goes through the threshold of a church door and also gives people tomatoes. – Average NPC
That’s a bored little ole man. Every neighborhood has one. Ours would come knockin on our door every Sat morn at 8am. We stopped answering. He got the hint. š
Right above me, on the first floor, lives my insane neighborāmy narcissistic brother, ten years my senior, with whom I no longer exchange a single word. Inspired by a TV show, I used to always say that he ruins my Feng Shui in the garden and the common areas. Where clear boundaries are set, the space is clean; where they are missing, it looks like a dumpsite. This whole situation is completely intentional. When I was young, he would constantly tell me that as soon as I got my own home, he would turn my house upside down.
I get so confused about all the different types…. It is so exhausting!!!
My mom loved doing things for neighbors – constantly offering help, favors, giving them things and talking about how much she loved them and loved doing it. Then one time she picked up a grocery item for someone and they forgot to pay her back. My mom went on a tirade (to me, not to the person) about how much the person used her, took advantage of her kindness, never did anything in return and she was sick of it – sick of it! The level of rage was bonkers. I knew the person in question and none of that was true. I see that incident now as the mask starting to slip off.
The thumbnail is spot on creepy; a signature grin not smile.š„“
I have a communal narc friend. She was a single mother with 2 teen daughters. Always out volunteering for her “charity” work while those daughters were left at home alone many nights. Fast forward 25 yrs and mom has married and still out volunteering while now the poor husband is ignored and left home alone. What a pattern. Gotta get that supply!