Why do you just GO ALONG with the narcissist?
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DISCLAIMER: THIS INFORMATION IS FOR EDUCATIONAL PURPOSES ONLY AND IS NOT INTENDED TO BE A SUBSTITUTE FOR CLINICAL CARE. PLEASE CONSULT A HEALTH CARE PROVIDER FOR GUIDANCE SPECIFIC TO YOUR CASE. THIS VIDEO DISCUSSES NARCISSISM IN GENERAL.
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The type of narcissism where the smear campaign is more personal and more concerning to the point where everyone around you in your environment is gaslighting you ….so in this circumstance they don’t have to love bomb you..ever. They just completley control the environment as well as getting u doxxed and cancelled online to keep you isolated there as well lord help me
Morning. 💯 Very true. Pros and cons.
Because the narcissist makes it easier to comply than to resist.
This video is so timely, because yesterday I found out another family member (brother) is a narcissist. He lacks accountability for his failures and was trying to make me feel bad for things that’s his fault. My stomach began to hurt after listening to his gut punching negativity. He has bad things to say about people with college degrees, more than one vehicle, and long term jobs. I think he is jealous. I woke up this morning and decided to block all his messages and calls moving forward. He has car problems, work issues, and a drug addiction. I am not responsible for his poor choices and he can find someone else to emotionally punch on. I am a positive person and will continue to be happy about my accomplishments. Thank you Dr. Ramani for your understanding and support 🙂
I heard something that really hit home to me the other day. This guy said that 90% of the people I went out of my way for have nothing good to say about me. I thought, Oh my God that is me. I thought I was helping people and all I gained was their lack of respect.
so you play grey rock. if you keep it like this then be prepared for revenge
I wish you the best because this is generation of narcissists nowadays . B4,destroying themselves they completely erase you as human being. Stay away from …
It is just easier..keep my mouth shut.
I regret not leaving when I learned he is a narcissist. Most people don’t know him. He is totally different around other people….Mr. Nice Guy!
Been needless for 18 years and when I started having needs/wants or stopped doing it all I immediately became USELESS!!!
Raised by a psychopath father ( narcissist) with two older brothers. I learned to follow. But I picked out friends who later did have full narcissism, they acted out for me so I could fawn or fluff.. but watch the circus. It wasn’t intentional on my part. It’s something I wanted to do. But couldn’t! I was influenced narcissistic fleas and all to seek out these toxic relationships. Looking back , holy crap. Once finally educated on the narcissist it’s no wonder I was so miserable! I’m still miserable when I get around them but different now. Ain’t nobody want to feel like that. Ugh ! It’s been one tough road that’s fur sure ! Ty for the ability to have the good fight. Mann it is tough 😂
Listening to all of this makes me think about how there is nothing I can do about my family and how they see me. I don’t speak to my sister, and somehow she gangs up on me with my mother. My father just wouldn’t stop and I quit talking to him years ago. Christmas drama happened and I became the bad guy, even though my family’s behavior is pretty messed up. I am trying to accept that they will never quit shi***ng on me and just try to mourn it an move on. It doesn’t matter how friction-less I am. They find a way to hurt me. I have decided I need to stay away from them. Their actions sent my self worth tumbling down an abyss and I felt suicidal. I cannot be myself, they will always find something wrong, they will always engage in toxic behavior no matter how many times I try to get through to them. I honestly want to move across the world so I don’t have to deal with it…but I can’t financially, besides, I like where I live and I have a few friends. I have to let go, they just see me as a threat. I need to lose weight, I’m pre-diabetic. My mom was so gross about my weight gain, she wants me to lose for health…but I’m attractive and all I think about is how she’ll just be jealous of me and pick on me if I start looking like a model again. I have “It’s Not You” sitting on my bedside table, I need to read it and do the exercises. I’m just a worthless thing to them.
Your family sounds just like mine. At 73 I finally realized I grew up in a lose-lose situation. When I was younger I just dealt with it but after ending up in the ER with a hypertensive crisis over a family situation I realize my body just cannot take the stress anymore. The last time this happened I was driving myself to the ER at 5 am thinking what will happen to my dogs if I don’t make it. The doctor said I was lucky I did not have a heart attack. I am working really hard to take care of my health. Please do the same. No one has the right to send you to an early grave.
At some point they will get physically violent and you will NEED them to stop, then they will rage at you. Nothing you’ve ever done for them will means anything the second you have to ask them to stop (hurting you, your child, a pet, or sexually inappropriate behavior). Any boundary is an assault. You’re enemy #1 now.😢😢😢
I don’t know how to explain this but I always thought “I just want to get to zero.” I just want a realistic and truthful evaluation of my strengths and weaknesses.
I’ve been struggling to find a job, mainly because talking about myself in a positive manner has always made me so uncomfortable and feel like I’m lying. Narcissistic parents are really second to none in terms of shredding any sense of self-esteem long-term.
Keep at it because it is imperative that you learn positive affkrmations to tell yourself . NormaliE that instead of what you have learned from your toxic environment
❤ I was going to tell how my story and your are similar, but maybe just sending love is better.
Try to create space. When we are small appeasing them by being a stepford child and gray stoning is the best we can do. But there are some hairpin curves as you grow up. Drop those childhood defenses (they aren’t helping anymore) and seek distance. Is there something that gives you joy? Do that. I draw and I think it is helping me. A really sad thing is that the sabotage will never end. You need distance to heal. And be kind to yourself, you have survived trauma, be proud of that and see the strength in it.
You be the bigger man while we call you the lesser man, and say the narc is the bigger man while being the lesser man. Up is down, left is right. Fire is cold, water is dry. YAY! Going along to get along! 👍
Wow, I really realized how small I’ve tried to make myself in the presence of a very toxic older sibling. It’s a way of not triggering her, but it is also walking on eggshells and self diminishing.
I have done (fawning) it all my life and never knew that’s what this is.
Because resisting means that *I’m* the one making it all about myself 🙃
Im a life long fawner. Its been the biggest source of self loathing. It took years of help to find the little lost me from long ago that deserved to be protected and heard.
I feel like “you’re so needy” is one of the narcissist’s favorite insults.
Our whole family just “went along” with daddy narc because there was always the threat of his temper tantrum if we didn’t.
Narcissists seem to know just when to pull back and quit with whatever it is that’s about to put you over the edge. But to think anyone can have an intimate relationship with a narcissist is a fantasy in itself.
Oh yes, been with my man for 40 years and a care giver for 10 years now, sucks the life out of me now.