Why YOU Stay Stuck in a Narcissistic Relationship
MORE FROM DR. RAMANI
ORDER MY NYT BESTSELLING BOOK 📖 "IT'S NOT YOU"
JOIN MY HEALING PROGRAM
JOIN THE DR. RAMANI NETWORK
JOIN THERAPISTS ONLY (PROGRAM FOR THERAPISTS)
VISIT MY WEBSITE
RECOMMENDED RESOURCES AND HOTLINES
====================
DISCLAIMER: THIS INFORMATION IS FOR EDUCATIONAL PURPOSES ONLY AND IS NOT INTENDED TO BE A SUBSTITUTE FOR CLINICAL CARE. PLEASE CONSULT A HEALTH CARE PROVIDER FOR GUIDANCE SPECIFIC TO YOUR CASE. THIS VIDEO DISCUSSES NARCISSISM IN GENERAL.
THE VIDEO DOES NOT REFER TO ANY SPECIFIC PERSON, AND SHOULD NOT BE USED TO REFER TO ANY SPECIFIC PERSON, AS HAVING NARCISSISM. PERMISSION IS NOT GRANTED TO LINK TO OR REPOST THIS VIDEO, ESPECIALLY TO SUPPORT AN ALLEGATION THAT THE MAKERS OF THIS VIDEO BELIEVE, OR SUPPORT A CLAIM, THAT A SPECIFIC PERSON IS A NARCISSIST. THAT WOULD BE AN UNAUTHORIZED MISUSE OF THE VIDEO AND THE INFORMATION FEATURED IN IT.
Thanks doc!
Being stuck in a narcissistic relationship is a natural response of how much you invested and sacrificed in that relationship and how much promises those narcissists gave you that they will never leave you alone or let you down.
I really want this one to just leave me alone in peace in Jesus mighty name Amen
you’re not alone
A phrase I definitely need in my vocabulary “sane washing.” My pet peeve is the excuse “they are just jealous of you.” This sounds like it is just a little “quirk” they have ignoring the fact that “jealousy'” is probably the emotion that causes more death and destruction in the world over every other little “quirk”.
I agree that green eyed monster.. which can be a vicious monster in disguise. I saw this commercial promoting competition and jealousy. You want to buy this to make your neighbors jealous of you. Are you %# kidding me!?
“If you have strongly held opinions, you are opinionated; if you don’t, you lack conviction: either way, there is something wrong with you.”
— Thomas Szasz
We stay in Narcissistic Relationships because the familiar is a lot less scarier than the unknown of leaving someone when we have had enough and call it a day. We feel emotions that are powerful when we are inlove with someone and hope for that potential to grow together, so we ignore the Red Flags. Their programming of us keeps us stuck until one day the penny clicks and we think I’m not having this anymore. 🍒
I just saw The Odyssey and listening to this now, I am writing my own Odyssey in my head. I can see it now taking all themes a narcissistic survivor has to overcome to return home and back to self all in mythological teachings. Some of the challenges I see: shame (the underlying theme), what is love, what is self-abandonment, guilt and guilt trips, reactive abuse, vices to cope, etc. can you see it?
“Family first” can be about “your duty to the family that loves you.”
Ok. Yes.
To think otherwise might even be considered a sin, at the level of which that statement is meant to be understood, perhaps.
But this does not go deep enough. It doesn’t go into the individual’s shadow.
I have tried a number of therapist who do nothing but gaslight, they don’t even listen to anything that you say, they make assumptions constantly, and they don’t even bother asking you anything about yourself at all. One of them told me that grape is nuanced and we’re all just people. Are you kidding me. And that was the last time I had to listen to her insipid mouth flapping.
I ACTUALLY like the way that doctor Ramini has a self admission that she is a cynic.
Smart Woman
How will I feel when my family is dead? Relieved. No more attempts to control my life without my consent.
I laughed out loud at this! I was so relieved when my mother died. Not to have to deal with that person again was an incredible blessing to me.
I don’t believe ppl stay in these relationships because they just so love I think a lot don’t know what narcissistic really is, manipulate, control,money, children, safety, gaslighting, mental illness, addiction, health, etc. causes a lot of why individuals are stuck in these relationships. The not knowing how to get out or who to turn to( trust) causes a delay. Outside ppl looking in and they are being lied to and manipulated/gaslighted by the Narcissist and Enablers. They also go a fare as posting fake pictures and post on social media about the person/ individuals being abused (Al is no joke) I suggest speaking with the individual’s in person so you can get a true and clear understanding. A lot of Narcissistic people Traffic and use family and friends to control and isolate their victims. Their need to be more private investigator (law enforcement) working with medical and counselor/therapist.
Saving the best for last. The grief! I do have a heart issue due to narcissistic abuse. I have to kinda tip toe around this. I listen to this man before I may be ready for him now. Garbor Mate .. I think I’ll sit still finally and listen.. Ty Dr Ramani 🐱
At 73 and after decades and decades of trying to be good enough, I (with the help of Dr. Ramani) have finally accepted there were two roles for me in my narcissist family – scapegoat or nothing.
“u ant win a poker game if u show your hand, ” brilliant! dr. ramani.
in my divorce i wanted to lay all my cards on the table, so we could meet in the middle. my lawyer said, dont u dare. u pull this card out at the end, like u nvr wanted to use it. he was right . it saved me. u cant be open if the other person is not. here is empaths secret weapon – the narc thinks ur stupid. and u r not.
Oh, yes, they really do think everyone else is below them…. and we are not.
Totally
IM SO SAD I MISSED THE LIVE Q&A😭😭😭😭 I literally set an alarm but forgot to labor it and when it went off I could not for the life of me remember what it was for 🤪🤦♂️😂
i have said before that i had to cut everyone out of my life because of the abuser but i will add to it.. growing up in an alcoholic/narcissistic home bad behavior was my normal so the people that i cut out of my life had bad behavior.. i would not have cut out people who respect my boundaries and actually care about me..
24:33 I’ve been struggling with the kinda snarky & frankly condescending tone in Dr. Ramani’s videos lately & this part is a good example; yes, the narcissistic person who took my friends, family, dogs, home, reputation and sanity has some atrocious qualities, but so much of the way Dr. Ramani talks about these people *reminds me of them & the way they behave,* particularly the way they talk about me & other people behind their backs in triangulation to the “flying monkeys” who just plain didn’t know they were being lied to.
It *feels* like that same snarky tone & energy, but I try to listen because it’s directed towards the narcissists I guess? The ones everyone else loves *because* they’re being lied to by that very same person? I’m just really struggling with this part & that it’s been more about that so much lately than any kind of healing or advice for lost reputations, sanity & loved ones. 💔
Thank you, Doc. Maybe one day, these problems can stop filling those sandbags and start planting instead.
So funny, whenever I see self help books I feel targeted rather than accounted for.