4 SHOCKING gaslighting tricks that leave you questioning your reality
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DISCLAIMER: THIS INFORMATION IS FOR EDUCATIONAL PURPOSES ONLY AND IS NOT INTENDED TO BE A SUBSTITUTE FOR CLINICAL CARE. PLEASE CONSULT A HEALTH CARE PROVIDER FOR GUIDANCE SPECIFIC TO YOUR CASE. THIS VIDEO DISCUSSES NARCISSISM IN GENERAL.
THE VIDEO DOES NOT REFER TO ANY SPECIFIC PERSON, AND SHOULD NOT BE USED TO REFER TO ANY SPECIFIC PERSON, AS HAVING NARCISSISM. PERMISSION IS NOT GRANTED TO LINK TO OR REPOST THIS VIDEO, ESPECIALLY TO SUPPORT AN ALLEGATION THAT THE MAKERS OF THIS VIDEO BELIEVE, OR SUPPORT A CLAIM, THAT A SPECIFIC PERSON IS A NARCISSIST. THAT WOULD BE AN UNAUTHORIZED MISUSE OF THE VIDEO AND THE INFORMATION FEATURED IN IT.
They use projection, minimization, smear campaigns, and rewriting reality to make you feel that you are nothing in comparison to them.
It’s always lurking in the background, the insinuation that you could never ever measure up to the narcissist. They have a unique way of appearing to be better in every way through behavior.
All talk and zero action
It gets so tiring having to constantly “fact check” their gaslighting baloney.
This is the sickest thing ive ever dealt with in my 50 some years of life. I’ve never ever known such a person until 2024 when I met someone online( not in person yet), long distance. You’ve identified his character in many of your videos. Im sitting here thinking what in the H am I doing messing with this person. I stopped talking to him and texting on June 28, 2026.
Glad you got out early! It can send you to an early grave if you stick around
Good for you, sister. Respect!
Consider yourself lucky- I lost over two decades of my life to two of these in a row
@alanamb8384Same.
Dodged a bullet!
I’ve cycled out with these abusive folks. I just sit back and laugh at their feeble attempts to lure me back on the narcissistic abuse cycle
Good on you ❣️👍🏽
I’m getting there. I’ve made it my mission to educate myself on this topic. Totally on an amateur level, but it’s been about 8 years of watching and reading books by experts like Dr. Ramani. I consider myself very knowledgeable about narcissism. So many Aha moments while I was learning about different people in my life. Family members, spouse, adult son. I’m surrounded by them. 😮
Some have to be grey rocked, some black rocked. Radical acceptance is my friend. I’ve got to work on myself n getting better at being narc proof. I’m doing pretty good but can make improvements.
I wanna be like you ❣️
@Leeza-G thank you so much, I will say I did a lot of work though to get to this point. The old me would have just reacted and took the bait and been stuck. I think these narcs are everywhere, it’s a lot more common than what they say. Hey, good luck to you on your journey. Once you get it, you get it.
There’s no going back
@JohnEffy-m6v✨🫶🏼🙏🏽🫶🏼✨
The most memorable experience I had was when I tried to bring up a concern I had about their behaviour or the way they treated me. They didn’t even bother to deny their behaviour but brought up something nice I did and said it hurt them and then went on to launch a series of accusations dating back years.
Weponized incompetence isn’t that they “can’t” do the thing, it’s that they like acting as if they are not capable so they don’t have to be responsible for things they don’t want to do. Bill Cosby had a whole comedy skit about this very thing and admitted that he knew what he was doing at the time.
Yup. I left 4 jobs because they would not accommodate my modest requests for help. At each, they replaced me with TWO people.
My ex abuser was actively telling our children that it was my job to do everything house and organisation related and as a result I ended up burning out and still became the bad guy for walking away from him and his narcissistic children… if I was to stay it would have put me in an early grave no thankyou
They can all live happily ever after with their weponized incompetence far away from me whilst I will enjoy this peace
Right on, sister! 💪
Similar
@youdontknowme-atall maybe so but sometimes survival calls for harsh
If they ever reach out I’d be scared to be around them alone to be honest so i hope they dont. And also they were old enough to know what they were doing so if they see the reality of the situation years down the line maybe we can go from there but im not holding my breath expecting any kind of positive change 🤷🏽♀️
@Smyrna37 I can pray for someone and even actively choose to forgive them daily but still not feel safe. Yep.
My mom’s default response for whatever I asked for when I was a kid and into my teen years was “no”, or “We’ll see…”, then she would have a lengthy list of things she wanted me to do around the house so that she would say “yes”. And if it was a time-sensitive situation, like going to a movie with friends, or purchasing concert tickets (with my own money!), she’d amuse herself with my frustration when it was down to the minute, when I needed an answer. I would get into a panic mode, and then invariably she would just say “no” anyway with that smirk on her face. What a sadist POS she was, and still is.
Sorry you have a mom like that, how terrible that would be. And sick that she has no compassion and is amused by your agony or being hurt or upset. Shes a sick lady.
I’m so sorry. Your mother was/is a sadistic monster. No child should have to endure the abuse.
I was told by my former partner that I wasn’t doing enough around the house. Claiming they did all the laundry, all the dishes (not true haha obviously), and that I need to do more even though I was two months postpartum. He didn’t know what to say when I corrected him by saying: “I try to do them, but when I do, you tell me to sit down.”
Silence.
The worst part is when you are the only non-narcissist in the family. If you have parents, siblings, and partner, each with huge narcissistic traits, they all make excuses for each other and scapegoat you. There’s some kind of mass targetting toward the non-narcissist as they’re seen as “weak”. They tell you you’re “the only one” seeing it that way, so you start questioning your own sanity. Since in psychology, narcissism is apparently 1 in 20 people, being surrounded by narcissists makes you question if you are the problem.
And it’s even worse if they’re able to “contain” their narcissism for months or years until you’re around, which I have seen.
Also, their narcissistic traits aren’t there 24/7, so you get used to kindness for days or weeks and then suddenly cold, manipulative or cruel behaviour is so shocking and out of the blue, it’s like jumping from peace and quiet into a rollercoaster, then repeat. The inconsistency makes u doubt yourself even more, especially when they all enable each other.
Because it’s all the majority against you, you think, “it must be me.” – which is exactly what they’re saying. Outsiders don’t see it or believe it when you tell them, or they try to make excuses for bad behaviour, because “it can’t be true”. They’ll try to frame toxic things a parent did as “tough love” (e.g. kicking a family member onto the street with no notice, no time to find a safe place to sleep, as if being put in a highly dangerous situation is “tough love”)… or banning a family member from medical treatment they need as a form of “punishment for bad behaviour” (when the “bad behaviour” being referred to, was asking the parent to look at their own behaviour).
If you are the only one without narcissistic traits in a family, you often become the family scapegoat. The narcissists all reinforce each others version of events even if they weren’t there. If you show them a list of NPD symptoms that matches their behaviour in attempt to put a stop to it, you end up labelled “the narcissist” – they find ways to twist everything or lie and claim you did or said things you never did , as a form of attacking defence. It makes you feel like you’re going mad.
That’s one of the most destabilising experiences I can imagine, and I know someone who has been through it (and I have too).
It’s not just narcissistic behaviour that hurts. It’s being surrounded by them that makes you question reality.
It’s called family mobbing, a real and insidious pattern. I’m a scapegoat, I’m a grandmother who recognized the family scapegoating abuse of a very young, very sweet and bright grandchild, and have been taking the heat for years in order to be a present and positive bond with that child, who I saw being harmed. It takes a lot of self awareness and willingness for ego to take a backseat to the well-being of someone who can’t protect themselves. Complex, exhausting, and yes, it requires sacrifices most are not willing to make, but driven by actual love
@alaysiakayebutler6299 wow. Thank you on that child’s behalf for doing for them what no one did for me. You must be so strong and independent minded. Can you possibly mention more specific details about it? Like examples of what people did & how you protected the child? For those of us who have no one to turn to, simply hearing specifics of what others went through is affirming & actually healing, to know we’re not alone & not going crazy.
44:00 What you’re describing is what I call a negging sandwich. It’s a compliment with an insult in the middle finished with another compliment. Pretty sure this is officially called a “compliment sandwich” for when people want to express valid criticism lightly but I call it something else for what narcissists do.
i like how you focus on the behaviors
It’s my narcissistic 73 year old mother texting me from another room that she doesn’t know how to use the [single button digital] thermometer because she isn’t getting the attention and supply she’s craving
My narcissistic parent basically accused their children of weaponized incompetence because we did not notice all the things that needed to be done to keep the house to their standards. The motto from this parent was “I shouldn’t have to ask”. Well, is taking 30 seconds to give instructions that something needs to be done really that difficult compared to doing the actual work ?
Every time I watch your videos, it’s like you’re reading the diary of my heart and soul. It’s not enough for these people to tell their family and friends untrue things about us, they also have to go to our family and friends to spread untrue things about us. The more I learn, the more I am seeing through the lies. It’s so painful to be isolated from people you have known and loved for so long. How could people actually believe it all without being concerned about if what is being said negatively is actually true or not. I’m exhausted of being the self blamer, the isolated one, the nothingness they want us to be, while they appear like an angelic being
This happens in the workplace all the time.
My narcissistic mother would do the reverse gas light in the most predatory way. She would give a positive statement like “I’ll bet you keep your house tidy at college” and then have an extreme change of voice tone to attacking and say “That’s why I can’t understand why you don’t keep your room tidy here!!!”