7 Things Men Notice WHILE Holding You (That They Will Never Tell You)
What's running through a man's mind when he pulls you close and just holds you — the silent things he reads in your body that he'll never put into words. 🤍
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There's a difference between a man hugging you and a man holding you. A hug is a moment — being held is a decision. And in that quiet, when you think he's just being sweet, he's actually reading you: what your body does when it's the one being held instead of the one doing the holding.
In this video I'm walking you through 7 things a man silently notices while he's holding you — and what each one tells him about how safe, how wanted, and how trusted he feels with you. None of these are about performing. Every single one is about letting yourself be held — and that's exactly what makes a man never want to let go.
Whether you're newly dating, deep into a long relationship, or stepping back into love after a divorce — this is the insider male perspective most coaches won't give you.
▼ IN THIS VIDEO ▼
→ Why letting him take your weight reaches something ancient in him
→ The primal signal you send when you give him the back of your neck
→ What it means to him when you hold the arms that hold you
→ Why stopping what you're doing tells him he's the main event
→ "The turn" — the quietly charged moment most women rush
→ What happens in him when you let him sway you with no music
→ The deepest one: letting yourself be held when you're NOT okay
If you've been searching for how men show love, what makes a man feel safe with you, male psychology and emotional connection, or dating and relationship advice for women over 40 — this is the breakdown.
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▼ RELATED VIDEOS YOU'LL LOVE ▼
🎥 7 Things Men Notice WHILE Hugging You (That They'll NEVER Mention!)
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▼ ABOUT MAT ▼
Mat Shaffer is a former attorney turned dating and relationship coach for women. He helps women understand the way men actually think, feel, and connect — from inside the male mind.
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▼ CHAPTERS ▼
0:00 What he notices while he's holding you
1:23 #1: Whether you give him your weight
4:12 #2: Whether you give him the back of your neck
6:13 #3: Whether you hold the arms that hold you
8:04 #4: Whether you stop what you're doing
10:37 #5: The turn
12:42 #6: Whether you let him sway you
14:43 #7: Letting yourself be held when you're not okay
💬 Which of these 7 hit you the hardest? Tell me below 👇🤍
Ladies — here’s the heart of this one: not a single thing on this list is about performing or impressing him. Every one is about letting yourself be HELD — letting go, leaning in, trusting him to keep you. That’s the whole secret. The more you let yourself be held, the more he gets to feel like the man you’re safe with — and that’s the man who never wants to let go. 🤍
If you’re ready for real change in how you connect with men, I’m taking on a few private 1:1 coaching clients this week. Apply to work with me directly:
👉 https://matshaffer.typeform.com/to/FC5N1sFV
Then tell me below 👇 which of the 7 hit you the hardest? I read every single comment.
🤰 😂❤
Love your content 👏🏾👏🏾🎉🎉🎉
it’s better to avoid kissing on the first date/outing, it’s correct, right? like doesn’t matter if i feel it, i should control to kiss on the first date?
I would recommend that, and keep your guard up, politely and kindly. It’s good to see how a man reacts on a first date if you like them but don’t invite them to your bed or your body. If you restrain yourself you’ll be able to have an extra layer of protection against red flags that will show if all they want is a “vessel” rather than a human being.
@louiselincoln wow so well explained, i found myself struggle with that, because it had been since 2021(so until now it’s like 5 years where i’m really single and kept myself totally alone without any man physically, so you can imagine right now when a man approached me, my body reacts much more intense and actively than let’s say maybe another woman who had not been restricting herself from sex for 6 years)
A kiss on the cheek is a good way to show that he like you and you like him. Even on the first date. ❤ Listening from Copenhagen, Denmark ❤❤
If she’s on a call that’s a little unfair to ask her to drop that for a hug, pick a good momemt.
the last one is so good, men who had this mindset is real man
One of the things that I’ve noticed is when I go over to his house and immediately hug him he holds me for a long long time. That makes me feel wanted and welcome.
Hey Matt,
With number five, my wonderful man is 6’8, I’m 5’3 along with multiple neck surgeries, I no longer have the ability to move my neck to look straight at my man’s face. Will he get my I’m totally with him by asking him to bend down to my eye level? This is no joke.
Hugs are a beautiful thing when recieved from a person that is truly committed to you ❤