8 Things Men Love About Your Past (That You’re Trying to Hide)
The parts of your story you've been tiptoeing around? A grown man is quietly hoping you'll share them. Here's what he actually hears when you tell him about your past, and why it's so much better than you think.
If something in your story has been holding you back, I'd love to help. Apply for a free Breakthrough Call with me:
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🤍 More for dating again, whatever your story:
She's at the kitchen table at ten o'clock at night, writing her dating profile. She types "Divorced. Two grown kids." Looks at it. Deletes it. Her best friend across town types "Never married." Looks at it. Deletes it too.
Here's what neither of them knows: the parts of your past you keep cutting out are the parts a grown man is actually looking for. In this video I'm sharing eight things men love about your past, the exact things you're trying to hide, and what each one tells him about the woman sitting across from him.
▼ IN THIS VIDEO ▼
→ Why being out of practice reads to him as relief, not a red flag
→ What really costs you with a man (hint: it's not your age)
→ Why "I come with people" is a selling point
→ The way you talk about your ex, and what he's really listening for
→ How to answer "So, what's your story?" without it sounding like a confession
→ Why your list of things you won't put up with anymore is a map, not a wall
→ What it means to him when you finally share the hard thing you survived
→ Why the softness that survived your whole past is the whole point
If you've been searching for dating after divorce, dating after 50, dating when you've never been married, how to talk about your past on a date, or what men find attractive in a woman with life experience, this is the insider answer.
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▼ RELATED VIDEOS YOU'LL LOVE ▼
🎥 7 Things a Man Feels When He's Found The One (That He'll Never Say Out Loud) —
🎥 7 Things Men Notice About an Older Woman (That She's Trying to Hide) —
🎥 8 Things a Grown Man Sees in a Woman Over 50 (That a Boy Never Will) —
▼ ABOUT MAT ▼
Mat Shaffer is a dating and relationship coach for women. He helps women understand the way men actually think, feel, and connect, from inside the male mind.
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▼ CHAPTERS ▼
0:00 Deleting your story
1:50 1. That you're out of practice
3:11 2. Your age
5:08 3. You come with people
6:52 4. How you talk about your ex
8:42 5. Your answer to "So, what's your story?"
10:34 6. The list of things you won't put up with anymore
13:13 7. The hard thing you survived
15:45 8. Your whole past
18:48 Bringing it home
💬 Which of these eight surprised you most? Tell me below 👇🤍
I take it you are speaking only to Caucasians. Pictures tell a thousand words. Good points though!
Fair callout, these principles are meant to apply universally even if the visuals don’t always reflect that. Appreciate you pointing it out!
Why would you even think that? Weird comment
Thank you , I love your videos, I am just 19. is it weird if I don’t date or talk to any man because I am going to another country next year , also I am tired of short term and long distance relationships, please mention your views it would help, please be honest about it. I can’t call because I am from Nepal
Not weird at all, focusing on your move and future right now is completely reasonable. There’s no rush, the right connection can wait until your life is in the place you want it to be.
Thanks for sharing!!! I really needed to hear this!!!! I’ve got a lot of stuff that’s really hurt me😥. Please🙏 for me. Love you💖!!!!!!🙏😍😘🌈💐🌹💖
Sending love and support your way. Healing takes time, be gentle with yourself through it.
So glad I got 4 right…. I mean I got others right. But so many people look at me strange when I express love for my exes though we were not right for eachother
That’s actually a really mature place to be, loving someone without needing to be with them. Does that reaction from others ever make you second guess it?
I resonate with number 5. I want to make sure to find the right man for me.
That’s a powerful one, as owning your story helps him see the real you instead of just a confession!
literally me this week. now men have reached out I dont know what im doing. 1984 was a long time ago🥴 The hard things make me stumble. All but the last 1 mentioned are my hard things. SMH
I totally understand!! what a beautiful opportunity to allow yourself to be fully seen and trust yourself… the right man will welcome and celebrate your hard things <3
@Mat_Shafferin all honesty this is terrifying. 1984 was a long time ago. I am so grateful for your videos they are bringing insight to my past 42 yr long relationship and hopefully a new one.
Number five might ruffle some feathers: when you say “divorced,” a grown man doesn’t hear failure. He hears she knows how to stay, and she knew when to stop. And “never married”? He hears she’d rather be alone than be wrong. 👀
What’s the one thing you’ve been editing out of your story? Tell me below. I read every single comment. 👇🤍
If this hit home and you’re ready to stop hiding your story and start being chosen for it, apply for a free Breakthrough Call with me → https://matshaffer.typeform.com/to/FC5N1sFV?utm_source=youtube&utm_medium=video&utm_campaign=your-past&utm_content=pinned
I once met a guy who was so hung up on the fact that I’d never been in a long-term relationship or been married that he openly asked me several times how that was even possible and why. Meanwhile, it never even crossed my mind to see his divorce as a red flag.
That’s such a frustrating double standard to run into when you’re just trying to be open about your own path!
I’ve watched many, many of your videos, and I believe I’ve learned from them. I’d love to apply for the breakthrough call, but I’m so very broke and couldn’t possibly continue past the free call. But I’ll keep watching the videos.
I’m so glad you’re finding value in the videos, and please don’t worry about the coaching—the content is here exactly for people like you!
I have learned to respect myself, and not let anyone control, or manipulate me, and I have learned not to control or manipulate any man that is possibly going to date me now.
That is such a powerful place of self-respect to stand in, as it creates so much space for a healthy connection to grow!
Much love from 🇨🇭💖
Much love right back to you! 🇨🇭🤍
And I LOVE the real stories you talk about !
I’m so glad they resonate with you—being open and authentic is what really builds that connection! 🤍
I can’t think of anything nice to say about this video
Fair enough, not every take lands for everyone!
You forgot the perhaps the biggest one of them that is very important: discernment, boundaries, self respect. Sure, you don’t have to be perfect, but any relationship takes 2. These methods work when you are dealing with someone who is at leas not toxic person (lying, playing games). When you don’t recognize the user, the immature, the time waster, well, you made it really easy for them to take advantage of you. Their intention and energy is not something they can hide. When dealing with at least genuine person, these tips help!
That’s such a great point; being open is a superpower, but only when you’re vetting for the right quality of man! 🙏
I held my age back for many months till he came over on my bday. I told him and he said 49, well you look good. 🥰 He is 28. I had to tell him about my fiancé that I lost to cancer. He was supportive. He said you are too young to have gone through that. And that was before he knew my age. He was the first guy I was interested in after my 13 yr relationship. He got me out of my shell after 5 years of grieving.
4:08 Interesting story. My brother pursued a woman 5 years older than him. He knew how old she was, he just didn’t tell her how young he was. It came out at a friend’s house that not only was not old enough to drink, he was still a teenager (19). She felt a little awkward after that because she had no idea since he had a career, knew what he wanted, and generally had his life more in line than many 25 year olds. They have been married 3 years now, have a house, and a baby boy.