The hug that friend-zones him (you don’t even know you’re doing it)
Your mouth says "I had a great time." Your hand might be saying something very different. 👀
🧠 Want to know how he's REALLY experiencing you? Take my free 2-minute quiz →
To a man, two pats on the back means "we're done here," which is exactly how he hugs his brother-in-law. If you like him, let your hand rest or slide slowly across his back instead.
Watch the full video: 12 Things Men Notice WHILE Hugging You (That They'll NEVER Mention!) 👆
#datingadvice #relationshipadvice #understandingmen
Be honest… are you a patter? 😂 (No judgment. Okay, a little judgment.)
What’s the most awkward hug you’ve ever been part of? Tell me below. I read every single comment. 👇🤍
Take my free 2-minute quiz (link’s at the top of my channel page) → https://matshaffer.typeform.com/to/ZFhuDDN5?utm_source=youtube&utm_medium=short&utm_campaign=short-hug-pat&utm_content=pinned
My last guy left me. At the end of our conversation he said “let’s give ourselves a hug” knowing very well how much I liked his hugs. I reluctantly acconsented. My left hand was holding my bag, and with my free right hand I patted him a couple of times on the back…I was immediately aware of how maternal this gesture was, almost as if I was helping him burp like a little baby. What an absolutely awful moment…not the patting on the back but the realization that he meant nothing more to me….
That realization mid-hug must have hit hard, feeling the shift in your own feelings in real time. What do you think changed for you to get there?
I agree. I totally understand. It’s true..
Glad this resonated with you! What part felt most true to your own experience?
Omg I totally do that sometimes 😂
Ha, glad you can relate! What’s your version of it look like?
I give them a good squeeze hug then 2 pats as I’m pulling away
What if they hug and rock you side to side gently?…
That’s such a soothing, intentional gesture. What does that particular hug tell you about how he feels in the moment?
@Mat_Shaffersafe and peaceful I like to feel, but I think he feels awkwardness. In context he self confessed to not liking hugs at all 😕
I found out he was calling me the backup plan to his friends while I was planning our future together. Then I discovered Make Him Your Pet by Mia Ema Lopez, and reading it was like learning the psychological warfare tactics I should have been using all along. I stopped being his safety net and became his obsession – now hes the one afraid Ill find someone better.
That’s such a powerful turnaround, going from his backup plan to the one he’s afraid of losing. What was the hardest part of making that shift from safety net to priority?
I went through a brutal breakup last year and read everything I could get my hands on.the book make him your pet by mia ema lopez was the only one that didn’t make me feel like the problem or like I needed to completely rewire my personality. Just clear, useful, honest.
So glad you found something that actually felt honest and didn’t put the blame on you. Sounds like it came at the right time.