Are AUTHENTIC people TARGETS for narcissists?
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DISCLAIMER: THIS INFORMATION IS FOR EDUCATIONAL PURPOSES ONLY AND IS NOT INTENDED TO BE A SUBSTITUTE FOR CLINICAL CARE. PLEASE CONSULT A HEALTH CARE PROVIDER FOR GUIDANCE SPECIFIC TO YOUR CASE. THIS VIDEO DISCUSSES NARCISSISM IN GENERAL.
THE VIDEO DOES NOT REFER TO ANY SPECIFIC PERSON, AND SHOULD NOT BE USED TO REFER TO ANY SPECIFIC PERSON, AS HAVING NARCISSISM. PERMISSION IS NOT GRANTED TO LINK TO OR REPOST THIS VIDEO, ESPECIALLY TO SUPPORT AN ALLEGATION THAT THE MAKERS OF THIS VIDEO BELIEVE, OR SUPPORT A CLAIM, THAT A SPECIFIC PERSON IS A NARCISSIST. THAT WOULD BE AN UNAUTHORIZED MISUSE OF THE VIDEO AND THE INFORMATION FEATURED IN IT.
I’m really honest & real and a good person people try to use me & take advantage of me all the time !!!
MeToo
@@johnrider4649👍🤣
Boy do I feel you. And I know exactly what she’s talking about in a family with a narcissist. But we didn’t know what narcissist was about back then.
They don’t like you seeing through them
Narcissists will say that as well. You have to bear in mind anyway, people are just like that, exploit and take advantage, you just need to know how to filter out the trash really – and I meant people that are just trash.
Their loss
I have decided not to be supply ever again, I’ve decided to be single indefinitely
Me too! Been 8 years and Ive finally decompressed from a bad 7 year relationship!🙏staying single!
@@demonshelby1311 25 years single now after barely surviving a narcissist relationship/marriage. People tell me all the time I should open my heart and I deserve love and I do feel I deserve love but the risk is too great anymore to put myself out there like that. It’s been 22 years of rebuilding myself from nothing into something I feel I can live with. I feel weak and stupid for allowing someone to take advantage of me, but soon realized in therapy that my father was a narcissist so of course I would marry one !!
never again.
That is a reaction to their treatment. That is still supply- many of them get off on another’s pain or adoration, either way validates their existence, and the pain of others proves to them how “powerful” they are “over others.” It is proof to them that they are real.
If a narcissist believes that you are single because of them/your relationship with them, and they can verify your relationship status through the grapevine or online, checking up to see if you are still single, and having the answer be yes, would be supply. It would mean they still have power over your behavior, even so many years later. It feeds the grandiosity.
Indifference is their kryptonite. It is easier to get there when you gather evidence from their other relationships, when you learn that it has nothing to do with you. They couldn’t even see you. When you learn that they would have behaved the same way no matter who you were or how you behaved, it’s much easier to let it all go. They’re pathetic.
I want to add, I have been in repetition compulsion for decades and I have had a really horrific time and there have definitely been days where I felt like I could never trust a man again.
Do not allow them to take your ability to open your heart away from you. We do have things to learn regarding discernment and mutuality and beliefs. That does not mean that it is wise nor just to shut an entire system down.
I like the idea of putting a fake ring on my ring finger, and “marrying myself” for a set of years. But do not shut it down forever, because that is what they would like. Do not give them that satisfaction. De-prioritize them to the category of not meaningful, work towards indifference.
I did learn that we never learn to fully trust others, we cannot ever fully vet someone because everyone has the capacity to harm. (Some people have blocked their capacity to love, and some do not have the capacity for empathy, some have increased their capacity for violence, for example, so I wouldn’t say everyone is equally unsafe.) What gives us the ability to go back out into the social world is when we develop trust in ourselves. We begin to believe that if the time comes, we will protect our best interests and cut a harmful person off. We will not self sacrifice. This begins with very small daily practices, learning to check in with self, and actually honoring what your soul knows to be true. That’s a tough one. I also learned that “pretending things are okay,” is something that narcs look for, someone who is willing to pretend with them.
❤❤❤
@@maryjaneblues7712 good luck 🍀
This subject reminds me of Death of a Salesman. Poor Willie Lowman realized too late. That really had an impact on my thinking after reading the play in high school.
Being authentic is a superpower… unless a narcissist is around, then it’s like handing them a puzzle they can’t wait to break.
With all the downsides, I do enjoy feeling emotions deeply.
My mantra has been “trust your instincts!” It has been a long and painful lesson (so grateful for a good therapist and Doctor Ramini’s work!) to recognize that I have good instincts, and that I don’t owe anyone but myself an explanation “why?” If it doesn’t feel right, no matter how many people are singing the praises of a person or situation, my wall is going up and I’m behaving accordingly. (And super thankful for the few people who have proven they are trustworthy that I can check in with)
@@matilda1505 I wish I could up vote that more than once! 😊
@@gelitmartinez the most painful lesson I’ve ever learned in my life. And a 23 year recovery process I’m still working through. There are times like today. I just wanna collapse and give up because it’s just too hard to heal. And really being on YouTube social media reinforces the fact that I’m still very invisible and unimportant.
You are so clear in your wording and it is great to hear such good education on the topics of narcissistic and authentic people.
Thank you Doctor Ramani for all the good you do ♡.
Yes, being authentic is a daily battle. I often find myself in an internal battle to keep myself aligned with my values; sometimes I want to give in, just to have some connection, but then I remember that I didn’t come all this way to do it all over again!
Thank you so much Dr. Ramani! I am a Survivor of many….multiple traumas associated with Narcissistic Abuse. A lot of people don’t understand this sort of abuse. I didn’t understand it either for a while…. until I started educating myself and started looking for answers to what I was going through. Thank you so much for educating the Public. I have endured a massive 3.5 year smear campaign…that has affected all areas of my life and I’m still trying to recover from it. This is the second one that’s been launched since 2011. Sending so much love to you 🥰
Staying strong too – lifting you up in my thoughts, Angie.
I seem to be vulernerable to these people as well but eventually learnt how to spot them out. Had a pretty messed up upbringing, my brother’s really unstable, it seems they like to target certain kinds of people, seeing certain people as weak and easy, but they can back off once they realize your not falling for it anymore.
Yet another timely video that I so need right now. Thanks so much, Doc! ❤❤❤
Narcissists are often sadistic, and they enjoy hurting authentic people the most. It’s not fun for them to hurt people who willfully submit.
Vindictiveness is something I’ve seen in the coverts.
Still fun tho (for them)
Dr Ramini I felt a tightening in my chest when you said “an authentic person may find that giving up on themselves is how this relationship works” I actually did say and do exactly this 😢😢😢😢
@@acasyd me too.
I hear you. I too became a shell of myself for many years to keep the peace but eventually realized that nothing I could ever do would be enough. My mental and physical health is much better since I’ve disengaged as much as possible and focus on interests outside the relationship.
Thank you for the work you do. I have been blessed by it, and aided in my healing with it. 💖
They don’t get why you’re stoic, while their lack of impulse control and emotional maturity gets them into tough situations
It’s thw way of the world, like it or not, you can’t change it, best you can do is mange it as best as you can.
Narcissistic parents actively train you to be inauthentic. They are not remotely interested in who you are what you think or need. It’s all about how things look and what they feel and need. Sometimes those things align and the child keeps treading the hamster wheel wanting to be seen and loved. There is no teaching, only harsh punishment. They want their kids dependent on them.
As a survivor of narc abuse, I’ve changed my demeanor. Silence, & distance are my armor; a defensive posture like a warrior. Life is tough & I must protect self! Thank you Dr Ramani!
Same. Cut off now all 🩸 due to over 30 years of mental. I hope you’re healing and finding peace. Best to you & please stay safe.
I was able to pursue my dream, and then I got a job at a university. The world of academia is filled with narcissists and other sorts of damaged people, and they went out of their way to keep me from spending time with students, which was my passion. I was told to give up my authentic self for their egos, and it nearly killed me (literally).
Never give up your authentic self, not for anyone or anything.
Took me too long to listen to myself and not do or think about them or how they want me to.
If you don’t give a F …. they’ll leave you alone ❤
Dr Ramani, this video was so helpful to me. I am going through something right now with a toxic boss, and this video came right on time. Thanks very much for your videos and posts
Authenticity is a gift not a curse
Authenticity an excellent antidote against narcissism, and being able to live a life of clarity.❤
You can be a challenge at first and their ego feels like you’re a prize to be won but later on those challenges become points of contention. Then they can try and dismantle that authentic self by making it wrong.
For the first time in my life, I really know myself. I’m not letting me go.
I need me.
ʟᴇs’ᴛ ʜᴀᴠᴇ ᴀ ᴄᴏɴᴠᴇʀsᴀᴛɪᴏɴ ɢᴏᴛ sᴏᴍᴇᴛʜɪɴɢ sᴘᴇᴄɪᴀʟ ғᴏʀ ʏᴏᴜ 🤍🤍sᴇɴᴅ🤍🤍ᴍᴇ🤍🤍ᴀ🤍🤍ᴅɪʀᴇᴄᴛ🤍🤍ᴛᴇxᴛ🤍±𝟣𝟤𝟢𝟥𝟩𝟫𝟦𝟩𝟪𝟤𝟧🔝