How your reactions become narcissistic supply
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DISCLAIMER: THIS INFORMATION IS FOR EDUCATIONAL PURPOSES ONLY AND IS NOT INTENDED TO BE A SUBSTITUTE FOR CLINICAL CARE. PLEASE CONSULT A HEALTH CARE PROVIDER FOR GUIDANCE SPECIFIC TO YOUR CASE. THIS VIDEO DISCUSSES NARCISSISM IN GENERAL.
THE VIDEO DOES NOT REFER TO ANY SPECIFIC PERSON, AND SHOULD NOT BE USED TO REFER TO ANY SPECIFIC PERSON, AS HAVING NARCISSISM. PERMISSION IS NOT GRANTED TO LINK TO OR REPOST THIS VIDEO, ESPECIALLY TO SUPPORT AN ALLEGATION THAT THE MAKERS OF THIS VIDEO BELIEVE, OR SUPPORT A CLAIM, THAT A SPECIFIC PERSON IS A NARCISSIST. THAT WOULD BE AN UNAUTHORIZED MISUSE OF THE VIDEO AND THE INFORMATION FEATURED IN IT.
When we try to control our reaction to them we become internally stressed out and become a different person we can’t recognize.
That is EXACTLY it! Perfectly well said! And there’s no way to counter them unless we become as manipulative as they are. And by doing that we become like them. Being involved with them even minimally is self-destructive. THANK YOU for your wise observation!
Yesss! The retention of it all the words, the frustration, the delusion, the absurdity, the pain and top of that we have to hold it in for them! It’s crazy making. So we either lash out and become someone else, or we suppress it all and inherit all these debilitating, dilapidating characteristics and still become someone else that we can’t even recognize in the mirror. I don’t even look at myself anymore, that’s how shrunken I’ve become. So we become them to see if maybe playing their game helps the situation but it only makes it worse because we aren’t significant to them, we are peasants and don’t hold cred in their world, how dare we give them the same medicine.
Exactly. I have to be inauthentic to soothe my narc mom’s insecurities or she runs to the monkeys . Worst smear campaign in entire family!
Going gray rock will get you out because they’re gonna give up but it can be scary dangerous! My narc said he couldn’t trigger me anymore before he disappeared suddenly… it was clear he couldn’t contain his rage & I’m relieved it ended that way. However it takes a steady nerve to face this dysregulation with silence
I am in the learning process of getting mastery of the consistency of narcissistic behavior and excluding them from most of what is important to me.
I would like to thank you so much for your work, it helped me to change my life for better and gave me a lot of support 💞 I like to watch your videos not only because of all the knowledge you have, but also I fell your warmth and empathy towards people who are struggling ☺You are doing such a great job, love you ❤😊
That is where my internal power lies is not reacting to the narc’s actions and behavior. My ex knew the gig was up once I figure that out, once I had regained the smirk on my face no matter what she said I knew what I needed to do and that helped me to divorce and move on. Narcissist actually thrive on my reactions to there vitriol and cruelty it’s their drug of choice. I’m only human but I refuse to give into narcissist supply. thanks everyone 😊
My life has been all but Destroyed because of Narcissistic B.S. deepest Prayers for Every Survivor Out there !
Yeah, my whole social structure is falling apart
Good luck and thanks ❤
That’s so hard @@adambutler4237
I think “Conventional wisdom” is why people are “so Surprrised” by a narc doing yet one more harmful cruel hurtful thing… That is why I love this channel, lets change conventional wisdom! 👍❤
Dr. Ramani you saved my life in 2021. 🌹 I was so confused and filled with despair back then and you brought me clarity. You are definitely an angel 😇
same here
I am SOOOOOO THANKFUL I don’t have to deal with any of that c-r-a-p any longer!!! ❤
I walked away and never looked back… ❤
I have learned, over the years to recognize that arrogant smirk . That arrogant Smirk tells all. I steer clear .
I know all too well that arrogant smirk! A picture is worth more than a thousand words!
As soon as I read your comment I can see my mother’s smirk in my mind. Burnt into my eyes like staring at the sun!!!
@DominieRobinson and that let’s us stay shmear clear.
Wow! Cannot believe this was posted today after I was experiencing him being late, irritable, looking at other women, drinking. Was I surprised? No. But I have to learn to act like I’m not instead of engaging
Outstanding strategy to keep sanity while adult babysitting.
This is a keeper!
👍👍
Dr Ramani you saved my life . I studied your teachings like I was getting a doctorate in narcissism and I GOT OUT. I am divorced (7months) and although I’m healing I feel so much better . I cannot thank you enough for these videos and the healing program which is also amazing. Thank you a million times. Keep doing what you’re doing it is really helping people ❤
Congratulations. There’s no experience like feeling free again!
❤
Amazing! Dr Ramani helped me get out too! She is the best, I just want to give her a hug! 💕
Yes 👏🏼 i have to work so deliberately to not appease or placate. My partners self pity can twist the depths of my empathy. Turning care into inquiry, And inquiry into guilt, until I wear the weight of what is not mine. As i work to actively transition from this relationship, im choosing to grow for myself in it. So, I practice with tenderness and with strength trying to turn it inward.
To witness without surrendering or losing myself along the way (which is soooo hard). It is so confusing and also such a great area of growth for when im officially out. Im trying to build these personal quiet acts of love toward myself.
He recently told me ” you do it your way, I do it the right way”. And said to me, I put words in my own mouth. I feel like he is always kicking me down.
GET OUT!
I’ll be thinking of you and sending strength and perseverance!
Yep. My X 💯 said these things to me and more.
“We can do this the adult way (implying his way) or your way (implying the wrong way) now I know what that was!! I didn’t at the time. My X said “you are just making yourself afraid” “making up stories” when the truth came out about who he really was behind the mask. Then he ran like a coward. They are master gaslighters/manipulators/deceivers/liars/frauds..and they ALWAYS KICK YOU WHEN YOU’RE DOWN.
Gray rock can save your life! He left when he got no supply & I learned self control. Then no contact is possible & you can get your life back 😉
@@JoyTracie-vm1qsthey’re running away all the time & you’re lucky when they finally go… to the next victim or home to mommy
“Indifference” holy action protects you and drives them nutz.
I can forgive everyone, I can forget anything, but sometimes forgiving turns abusive, people takes advantage of our good intentions and again using manipulation and cross the boundaries again. It’s good enough all my mistakes, I’m not masochist. When we set boundaries is the best solution for any toxic situation. Boundaries is a healthy solution, especially for manipulation people. Thanks for sharing, blessings to everyone 🙏
This video was so spot on Dr. Ramani. Thank you so much, especially the part about ‘letting the flies in’, when it comes to narcissists rushing in where one has already breached the gates. Ugh! I lived that for literal decades. Now i just stay away from people and am 100% no contact with every last family member. It’s much more peaceful this way.
i don’t always feel the need to watch your videos anymore, but i always wish i could reach through the screen and give you a hug anytime one pops up, Dr. Ramani! Love and appreciate you!
Thanks, Dr. Ramani. No one should be surprised when the narc is too predictable. Radical acceptance is key.
I liked how you addressed the people who do not have a tendency towards jealousy. I am one of those although as the triangulation was performed, I found myself questioning my sanity. I actually “surrendered” and was ready to have them place me in a residency. The relationship was clearly not good for me and I could not get angry. It was “not allowed”. It was not the behavior of a “Godly wife”. A lot of therapy with a therapist who understands NPD and most likely Anti social personality disorder. Helped me understand that the only way to stop the cycle was for me to end it. Let me tell you, it was incredibly difficult And took a long time to get to this place of understanding. Btw, the nex just sent me a video trying to hoover me back. We have been divorced for over a year with no contact placed in order. I have him blocked everywhere I can. Everything Dr Ramani is spot on true. I did not bite.
Best thing is No Contact. They will never get better. I understand that today.