How narcissists keep you hooked with their ‘best’ traits
Loving a narcissistic person isn’t a whole love—it’s a fragmented one. You hold on to the parts you love, tolerate the parts you hate, and even build fantasies around the parts you wish existed. This is why trauma bonding is so powerful – it keeps you stuck in a relationship that feels both impossible to stay in and impossible to leave. Let’s break down why this happens and what it means for you.
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DISCLAIMER: THIS INFORMATION IS FOR EDUCATIONAL PURPOSES ONLY AND IS NOT INTENDED TO BE A SUBSTITUTE FOR CLINICAL CARE. PLEASE CONSULT A HEALTH CARE PROVIDER FOR GUIDANCE SPECIFIC TO YOUR CASE. THIS VIDEO DISCUSSES NARCISSISM IN GENERAL.
THE VIDEO DOES NOT REFER TO ANY SPECIFIC PERSON, AND SHOULD NOT BE USED TO REFER TO ANY SPECIFIC PERSON, AS HAVING NARCISSISM. PERMISSION IS NOT GRANTED TO LINK TO OR REPOST THIS VIDEO, ESPECIALLY TO SUPPORT AN ALLEGATION THAT THE MAKERS OF THIS VIDEO BELIEVE, OR SUPPORT A CLAIM, THAT A SPECIFIC PERSON IS A NARCISSIST. THAT WOULD BE AN UNAUTHORIZED MISUSE OF THE VIDEO AND THE INFORMATION FEATURED IN IT.
There are occasionally good times with narcissists. But only when they want something or if they’re trying to regain control. Everything they do is a tactic to keep you trapped.
Agree 100%
Well said!
They often neglect their family while readily assisting a coworker, neighbor, or stranger to maintain their image and receive validation. They mostly reserve their manipulative behavior for those closest to them.
It’s ALL manipulation & you don’t want the fake good side of a truly bad guy
Hold on to your truth and reality otherwise you’ll be confused and lose your sanity.
During the lovebombing phase, this person was always very empathetic when listening to my struggles and I always felt comfortable and heard, but as time went by, they became very cold and dismissive, and would always roll their eyes everytime I talked about my bad day and even started to saythat I was the problem all along and it was me who created all these issues and trauma upon myself.
I am sorry Sister your heart shall heal again
they mirror you heavily during idealisation phase, pwnpd do not have personality. that is why they are npd.
Same
Here exactly
Me too
can relate to this 💯
So true. I have a mother exactly like that. For example, she is sick at the moment, and for me this is a painful time. She looks vulnerable and fragile. But she is the same person. My feelings are a mess…. It is really hard to deal with …😢
She’s still not safe 💔❤️🩹♥️
@@caroleminke6116💯 Situations like this remind me of the story, “Little Red Riding Hood”.
I understand your conflict. My mother was so cruel, even when she got sick with cancer she spent her last days lying about me to family, so her hatred would last even after death. It’s natural for you to feel the way you do. She’s still your mom, but she also impacted your life horribly, and never prepared you for life. You overcame a lot. It’s a mind blower to say the least. Give yourself time. Take care.
Omg im crying because i needed a sign and this is exactly on point ❤💯🎯
Same… 😢
Great video! Best education on narcissistic behavior on the internet!
My mom called me a narcissist because I “don’t do enough for the family” when she really meant i don’t do enough for her. By the time she called me a narcissist, I had been babysitting my brother’s kids for at least half a year
This was a powerful video. I feel like it’s the icing on the cake I have been studying for a very long time now -this was explained thoroughly and step-by-step so helping me through my journey with all these difficult toxic individuals I have encountered in my 68 years thank you Dr. Ramani I’m keeping sane because of you
This really nails it. With the exception of the dangerous malignant narcissist who I had to escape quickly, every narcissist I’ve ever known had their really good sides. I liked those sides, and I do miss them. I feel guilt over having to end the friendships. But the bad parts, the cruel, hurtful, selfish parts became dominant over time, together with their demands for my complete submission. And yeah, I wish I could explain all this to them; but they wouldn’t listen. They can’t listen.
Thank you, Dr. Ramani. Very insightful and helpful.
It was ALL manipulation but you bought the fake niceness 😉
7:52 they get us so starved and confused that those scraps of positivity they shave off for us, here & there, become feasts. But it’s been rooted in poison, so it’s still bad for us, when we take it
“Hopium” is such an addictive narcotic. I spent years, decades really, thinking that my ex was so bright and full of potential and that “if only” I was supportive enough it would be realized. It’s a slippery slope to hell
Mommy supply 😉 you got played for all you were worth
The most powerful drug I ever encountered. Best wishes.
By gawds- adopting this term : STAT. 👏🏽. Just spot on . 🙏🏽
Yes, it’s difficult to have to admit to myself that the person who I thought was my best friend is actually a self-centered stranger.
Enemy 😉
This is one of THE best videos of yours that I’ve listened to. I’ve listened to about 85% of the ones available. It describes my thoughts and feelings so well. Thank you for helping me understand and navigate the covert/vulnerable narcissist in my life.
Yes! One of the best Ive heard from her!!
It’s the praise /provoke game all narcissists play – don’t play it ! It’s a sick game you’ll never win
You’re on Fire, Dr. Ramani. Powerful insight.
Empathy is a performance for them.
I think out of all of your videos this was the hardest truth to hear. Ive stuggled to understand bow someone could be both nurturing and sadistic. And you are so right – we dont get to choose.
We love them in parts and pieces. Exactly! 2 years after the breakup I still miss some of those parts, but I understand the bad far outweighs the good. After mostly healing, I could never go back to crumbs!
So well put. So hard to live in that space if missing the good parts but realizing I’m worth so much more than crumbs.
Thank God for you, Dr Ramani. Do not stop, keep educating us, spreading the truth. The world needs you
There are many different signs. These include spending time on phone that was not spent previously, withholding sex from you, withdrawing in communication with you, agitation or anger over Petty stuff or making up situations to get angry or agitated over, lying, being secretive in any way, randomly spending more time caring for and pampering oneself such as putting on makeup or wearing cologne or coloring hair etc. Any type of changed behavior that is not aimed at pleasing or benefiting your relationship. With all of that though, follow your gut. your gut is telling you that something isn’t right and it’s telling you that this could or is happening, therefore listen to it. Just Free yourself from all of it! Run and don’t look back. Go 100% no contact. The mental and emotional abuse is not okay at all! Do not bring anything up to her. Don’t try to rationalize or have a conversation about anything. Don’t let her know that you know she’s in narcissist. All of that can cause a narcissistic rage. If you have not yet witnessed one of those just trust me that you don’t want to! A narcissistic rage is beyond any rage I have ever seen or witnessed in my entire life. I am an army combat veteran and served front lines for a year and afghanistan. I have abuse going back from as long as I can remember, the first time in my personal memory is 2 years old. With everything I have been involved in, and my rape, other sexual abuse, their physical abuse, etc in narcissistic rage is by far the worst! If you need to contact your local police department and start a new contact order. No one can protect you like you can! free yourself from it all and move forward in your life. The minute you run and go no contact is the minute your life begins again. If need be seek out professional help. Therapy is the best thing I did for myself. The best gift I gave to me! The abuse is so deep and overwhelming that having a professional guide you through the steps of the healing process is extremely beneficial! Just remember, there is great strength in asking for help. There is great lack and strength or no strength at all in putting on a mask and hiding behind the opinions of society and pretending that you are okay! As human beings we all witness A Time In our lives where we are not okay! Those that heal, move past, and move forward, and have a brighter future are those who ask for help and do the work that is needed through the help! I’m so sorry you are going through this and I wish you the very best! Good luck! Always remember that you are stronger than you believe you are, you are worthy and deserving of better and always, and you are enough just the way you are and who you are today! Take this time for you! Get yourself again. Fix that meal that you’re all time favorite, rent that movie you’ve been wanting to see, have a guys night out with your best friends, remodel a room in your home, go purchase that item you’ve been wanting to for so long, just do for yourself! Self-acceptance, self-love, and being able to forgive yourself is far more important than what anyone else can give to you! Believe in who you are! You deserve nothing less than that! You’re not alone! Feel free to tag me in any other questions that you have! I’ll help if I can. Additionally you can hire a cyber expert to help you get remote access to their phone so you can track them and monitor all of their activities without them knowing. You may locate the top cyber specialists locally at digitalinvestigate@gmail . com where you can engage a well-trained professional to assist you……….