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Andrew McLaurin
💯 Dr.Ramani!
What if they are financially supporting the antagonistic person?
Dearest Dr. Ramni, you were my guiding star, starting, Nov 2020. I listened to you, with ear pods, every night after he fell asleep. I learned soooo much from you. Finally got out of this terrible situation, & began my own journey. The pain was terrible at first, but got involved in arts & new friends on my healing journey. I’m forever grateful to you. ❤Thriving now, 5 years later, in my late 80’s. Alone is better than living in an exhausting , demeaning, miserable relationship!!😊
Super happy for you❣️ Congratulations don’t give up, keep the attained knowledge & prosper❣️ You got this❣️💪😊
She opened my eyes up too around the same time as you. Finally out after wasting almost 20 years of my life. I’m single, alone, and so unbelievably free!
Even after final divorce in 2012, the smear stuff still happens. The new information shared by my now adult children about what was done and said about me to them is validating what I have always known. But ,except for the financial survival struggles, I am so much better physically ,mentally and emotionally . The freedom and clarity is so worth the grit to climb back to myself. My friends are genuine and supportive. My family loves both of us . We are about to celebrate the wedding of one of our children . Idk how it will go ,but I do know how to be healthy and me in his presence now
It’s a similar situation in my family. Narcissist mother in law absolutely smeared and destroyed the father in the divorce and still tries to smear him to this day. It was very healing for 2/3 adult kids to discuss what they went through with their dad and for him to reveal how bad things in the marriage and divorce were. Things are great on the dad’s side of the family and everyone’s happy to have moved on from being under the thumb of the narcissist.
They are like spider keeping you in the trap.
This is going on too much dear Dr, The may bees won’t be there anymore once the victim realized the expectations from narcissist are too much and impractical for any ordinary human to meet.
Emotional demands and narcissistic ego boost expectations etc Only those who can satisfy both they won’t feel that they are victim hence there won’t be any may bees. They just comply such women and men still exists who unconditionally surrender and do appeasement and ego boost to their narcissistic spouses and find happiness in their own way.
my parents + my 2 compagnions were all narcissists…. but it was not at all such ‘black and white’ : They had real good lovable sides. Nevertheless it was a lot exhausting; because you simply don t get enough warm feelings back ;-( Yes it s much bad being exhausted ;-(
No matter how much conflict it never ends the marriage just drags on unhappily unlovinglu chaotically just carries on and on no end no stop drama
Yes! So true, ugh! I think it’s because they keep reeling us back in then spit us out…over & over. We’re just too nice to leave them.
Trauma bond no where to go thinking life’s going to get worser without him thinking kids will leave husband will be there for you and so on and so. On
Yesssss! Thank god , I got out and learned through you, Dr. Ramani ! You gave my experience the language and understanding I needed in your great book, It’s Not You! It explained it all! Thank you! Thank you! Thank You!
🩷
In my experience as a therapist, almost 100% of the kids go with the abuser, who has made them crazy, alienated the victim, given them gifts, acting saintly!
When you finally see these people for who they really are, it’s very difficult. You can’t trust them, and you don’t feel safe. If their mouth is moving, lies fall out. You hold on for years and years for the potential prince charming, hoping, praying… One day you wake up and realize your “potential Prince Charming” is nothing more than the Wizard of Oz.
My plan to sneak my way out was always caught and derailed. It’s like she had a sixth sense.
Yep. He tried and failed to take everything in the divorce. He did alienate my younger son – who also became narcissistic – from me. But our older son’s onto him. So he’s run out of ways to hurt me.