DO THIS if the narcissist breaks up with YOU
When a narcissist ends the relationship, it often feels like your entire reality has been ripped away. Unlike a typical breakup, survivors are left battling trauma bonds, self-blame, and endless rumination. This video explores why narcissists move on so quickly, why it feels so devastating, and what you can do to protect your healing. If you’ve ever felt discarded, replaced, or trapped in the cycle of replaying the past, this breakdown will help you understand what’s happening and how to start reclaiming yourself.
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DISCLAIMER: THIS INFORMATION IS FOR EDUCATIONAL PURPOSES ONLY AND IS NOT INTENDED TO BE A SUBSTITUTE FOR CLINICAL CARE. PLEASE CONSULT A HEALTH CARE PROVIDER FOR GUIDANCE SPECIFIC TO YOUR CASE. THIS VIDEO DISCUSSES NARCISSISM IN GENERAL.
THE VIDEO DOES NOT REFER TO ANY SPECIFIC PERSON, AND SHOULD NOT BE USED TO REFER TO ANY SPECIFIC PERSON, AS HAVING NARCISSISM. PERMISSION IS NOT GRANTED TO LINK TO OR REPOST THIS VIDEO, ESPECIALLY TO SUPPORT AN ALLEGATION THAT THE MAKERS OF THIS VIDEO BELIEVE, OR SUPPORT A CLAIM, THAT A SPECIFIC PERSON IS A NARCISSIST. THAT WOULD BE AN UNAUTHORIZED MISUSE OF THE VIDEO AND THE INFORMATION FEATURED IN IT.
In my case my highly abusive narc was not a girlfriend or wife or business partner or boss. She was purely a platonic “friend”. When she discarded me at the end of July, the trauma bond had already weakened to the point of almost being non-existent, so it was easy to move on from her. Being discarded felt like a blessing, like a final release.
All I did was tell her I have a feeling nothing makes her happy, and she texts me to say she has decided to never text me again because I am “useless” in her life. The irony was amusing, but it is such a relief to be rid of her.
Now….get into day trading and break out with an incredible life.
A similar thing happened to me too‼️
If the narcissist breaks up with you, recognize that although it doesn’t feel like it at the time, it is a blessing in disguise.
It’s an ABSOLUTE BLESSING from God‼️
So true.. thank youu. I need to hear this everytime I think of them
MORNING 🌞
run.. always run and don’t stop running
YES!!
what to do when they leave you?
A victory dance!!!❤❤❤🎉🎉🎉
Yeah finally!!
Yes. Was gonna say this too. Run far away, and celebrate your freedom. Leaving a narcissistic relationship (however it happens) is like leaving Shawshank prison.
@@CleetusMaximus-b7ghaha
Funny….but sadly true
But…do they ever leave??
I thought they were gone but suddenly received an email of a song clip and the lyrics were ..”if I’m the problem, you’re the reason”!!!😮😮😮
OMG 😱😱😱
It was truly disturbing.
If he continues to harass me…I’m going to the police!!!
@@cristaylor969 yes, they will come back around to torment you again. This happens frequently when they’ve “moved on” and found another relationship (or rather, another “victim” really), gone through the love bombing phase and moved on the devalue and discard. Once they are no longer getting positive supply from someone else’s adoration — and especially if the person they got involved with after your relationship ended begins to suspect that they’re disordered and unsafe — they will come back to you to get negative supply by trying to push your buttons, manipulate and abuse you.
The best thing you can do is give them zero access to your emotional core. Don’t respond if at all possible. If it becomes necessary because their behavior is threatening or you feel as though you are in danger, get the law involved. You may need to consult an attorney. Make sure you document and gather information to support your case. You may need to file a restraining order.
It’s also a really good idea to make sure you find a good counselor who has experience with NPD and narcissistic abuse if you’ve just come out of one of these bewildering relationships. They can give you guidance on taking back your power and healing from what you’ve been through. They can also help direct you to other resources (like lawyers or law enforcement) if the situation calls for that. Friends and family often don’t understand what you have been through or are continuing to go through, especially if they’ve fallen for the narcissist’s lies and manipulative tactics.
Awesome Thanks
In addition to the broken heart was the feeling I had about myself. I felt so small and foolish. How could I have been duped like that? Why didn’t I walk away sooner? I’ve been no contact for 5 years and feel healed and strong now. However, every once in a while, those small feelings show up again. I have to remind myself who and what they are and more importantly, who and what I am.
Just wanted to let you know your videos, especially the ones on covert narcissism, are really helping me get through a tough time I’m dealing with right now. Thank you.
Covert and vulnerable narcissists are insidious emotional manipulators. I wish you all the best in your recovery.
@@CleetusMaximus-b7gthanks, I’m learning this the hard way but at least I can understand it better
@@pecosR0BI think pretty much all of us who learn about narcissistic abuse and narcissistic behavior have learned it “the hard way”. When you are a normal functioning, compassionate human being, it’s hard to imagine the narcissist’s personality style. Most of us don’t go around looking to emotionally manipulate and abuse other people, especially those who trust, love, and care deeply for us. But with a narcissist, that trust and love are just levers and buttons that can be used for exploitative purposes.
Once the positive supply they received from that love and trust and adoration diminishes in the eyes of the narcissist and the disappointment of their supply failing to live up to their exceedingly high expectations, then they turn to the cycle of abuse. They draw supply from hurting, gaslighting, and manipulating their victim.
Love is not reciprocated with the narcissist. Instead, when you stay in a relationship long enough with a narcissist, they eventually take the love you want to give them and turn it into pain. It sucks.
And I know well enough that even people who know you but haven’t had the same personal experience with a narcissist don’t understand it, either. Trying to explain the emotional abuse and the crazy making behavior you’ve endured to even close friends and family can be exasperating, especially when they have been convinced by the narcissist by a smear campaign against you that YOU are the “real problem”.
The thing about all these different solutions is that, in finding what works for you, to calm yourself down, they’re all great, but we need to constantly be in movement to figure out and know what may work at one time that doesn’t work at another time. I guess, in part anyway, it’s a matter of stressing process (and zigzagging progress I guess) over perfection.
I rather have them start the break up because it is hard to disengage when you are already in the trauma bond and the justification cycle so if they break up, it is the ultimate prove that they do not value you or the relationship and it is the opportunity to disengage and go no contact, if possible, to protect yourself from hoovering, and start healing. The break up or final discard will be painful, at the same time better than staying in a toxic relationship that is detrimental for our health and wellbeing. Thank you Dr. Ramani for your valuable advice and support❤❤❤
That thing you get out of bed for is such an important thing. The driving passion that sometimes we feel like we shouldn’t even have because of our conditioning!
I’m 1.5 year post discard; 15 months post no contact; 10 months post blocking. Did not get a Hoover text but a doubled down text (she worked around the block). I ignored. Two years post discard, homeless twice, financial collapse, health deteriorated, and 2 counselors. But I’ve bounced up and living in a resort, finances recovered, health improving and with a narcissitic abuse Christian counselor and I feel the heal because I find myself getting gag reflex when I think of her and she is 1 step away from complete irrelevance and care. Your body has to purge this person out of your system and nothing but time will take care of that. You will get to the point where the love of your life turns into, truly, I have no idea what I even saw in them. Truly,…the love you felt was your creation, not the narcissist. You have that gift to offer another. The narc has strange genitals to get high off of and will never experience love on any level. Just use. That is a life that has no value.
If the narcissist breaks up with you, sing Hallelujah!🙏🙏🙏
My narc left me and ran off on a crack binge. I was able to get out of the lease without eviction! Got a place I could afford alone. Thankful I always worked I would have been screwed. He insisted I shouldn’t work but I wasn’t quitting my job.
@@kerri-jopatterson8976My ex-narcissist did me a favor by baiting me into believing that he wanted to get married. If we had and got divorced, which would have been inevitable, I would’ve ended up paying him spousal support because he always believed that he was too good to get a regular job.
When narcissist I was seeing broke up with me I decided I’m not going to stay in touch with him. I was fed up with the way I felt about him. First 2 weeks I took on easy I let myself feel whatever I had to I took things easy. That was the time when I talked to my friends, ate junk food, cried, being lazy etc. after those two weeks I decided to build myself up. Signed up for a therapy, booked holidays focused on my career development looking for a new hobby while still going through the process of healing. He obviously tried to reach out again but I never gave in. That’s because I went easy at first with myself after the break but also I picked myself after. You learn to find happiness outside the cycle of narcissistic abuse. You start to see the difference between real happiness and illusion of happiness that narcissist gave you to keep you around. You see things differently and that’s how you never come back to what you used to be.
The one thing I did that helped me the most was deleting my Facebook and Instagram accounts. I didn’t really start to heal until I did that.
Great one Dr. Ramani…going thru discard right now with female vulnerable/covert of 5 years. It’s like a blueprint they follow, unreal.
Break ups are always horrid any way you look at it. I never wanted to get involved and to be clear I’m glad that it’s over so very long ago.i thought I was going crazy …..to be perfectly honest I’m so glad it’s over from long ago ..there are givers then there are takers .I was always a people pleasing giver. You live and learn
I remember a narcissistic aunt telling me to pull off the bandaid… when she wanted me to start dating and I wasn’t ready. She said that’s what she did.
My zinnias are starting to bloom. One of the things that has brought awe. I saw a hummingbird the other day… it fed from the goji flowers. I heard zinnias may attract them and that’s why I planted these. Was glad to see I got a vibrant dark pink bloom. Think they may be more attracted to that or red.
Thank you Dr. Ramani.
She cheated one way or another through our entire relationship, dismissed my feelings, disregarded my complete loyalty in my habits and actions, and then had the AUDACITY to accuse me of cheating and essentially doing just this. I’m not. Have no desire to. And just hurt.
A broken heart with a narcissist is worse, because we feel humiliated, scared, confused, and we know it was done to do maximum damage, it’s an inhuman act.