Grey Rock vs Yellow Rock: How to Respond to a Narcissist During Divorce
It's 10:47 at night. His four-paragraph text just landed, and your thumbs are already writing back. Before you hit send, you need to know which kind of reply you're writing, and who else might read it someday.
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In this video I share three ways to respond to a narcissist during divorce: grey rock (nothing for him to grab), yellow rock (grey rock with good manners, for when a judge, evaluator or your children might read it), and my STUFF method for the messages that need a real answer: Specific, Thorough, Unemotional, Factual, Fair. You'll get word-for-word examples, the one question that tells you which tool to use, and the three mistakes that undo all of it.
▶️ Watch next: 5 Things SMART Women Do Differently When Divorcing a Narcissist →
CHAPTERS
0:00 The 10:47 p.m. text
1:32 Grey rock: give him nothing to grab
2:54 Yellow rock: grey rock with good manners
4:16 The STUFF method for messages that need an answer
5:32 A STUFF message, word for word
6:21 The one question that tells you which to use
6:49 3 mistakes that undo all of it
7:48 Pause, ask, pick, cut it in half
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I'm Victoria McCooey, High-Conflict Divorce Coach, Certified Divorce Mediator and creator of She Breaks Free. My own divorce lasted six years, followed by 11 more years of post-divorce court conflict. Today I help intelligent women navigate divorce from narcissistic and high-conflict partners with more clarity, confidence and strategy. New videos every Friday.
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I'm not an attorney or therapist. Nothing in this video is legal or mental-health advice. Please consult your own attorney about your specific situation.
#GreyRock #DivorcingANarcissist #HighConflictDivorce
