Unmasking the Narcissist Without Saying a Word

You don’t have to call a narcissist out to expose them—in fact, that usually backfires. The real power comes from how you respond, what you don’t do, and the space you give for their behavior to reveal itself. In this video, Dr. Ramani shares how indifference, not taking the bait, and letting others see the truth can unmask the narcissist more effectively than any confrontation.

ORDER MY NYT BESTSELLING BOOK 📖 "IT'S NOT YOU"

JOIN MY HEALING PROGRAM

JOIN THE DR. RAMANI NETWORK

LISTEN TO MY PODCAST "NAVIGATING NARCISSISM"
Apple Podcasts:
Spotify:
Stitcher:
iHeart Radio:

DISCLAIMER: THIS INFORMATION IS FOR EDUCATIONAL PURPOSES ONLY AND IS NOT INTENDED TO BE A SUBSTITUTE FOR CLINICAL CARE. PLEASE CONSULT A HEALTH CARE PROVIDER FOR GUIDANCE SPECIFIC TO YOUR CASE. THIS VIDEO DISCUSSES NARCISSISM IN GENERAL.

THE VIDEO DOES NOT REFER TO ANY SPECIFIC PERSON, AND SHOULD NOT BE USED TO REFER TO ANY SPECIFIC PERSON, AS HAVING NARCISSISM. PERMISSION IS NOT GRANTED TO LINK TO OR REPOST THIS VIDEO, ESPECIALLY TO SUPPORT AN ALLEGATION THAT THE MAKERS OF THIS VIDEO BELIEVE, OR SUPPORT A CLAIM, THAT A SPECIFIC PERSON IS A NARCISSIST. THAT WOULD BE AN UNAUTHORIZED MISUSE OF THE VIDEO AND THE INFORMATION FEATURED IN IT.

Andrew McLaurin
 

  • @Super_Nova1234 says:

    Thank you Dr. Ramani!!! You are truly doing Gods work! We appreciate you!!! ❤❤❤

    • @MANILAGIRL710 says:

      She’s my savior. Had not I stumbled upon her video, I won’t move on this fast. Remember IT’S NOT YOU.

  • @simplyyyfab_u_lous_3266 says:

    I totally agree 💯 💞 Thank you wonderful lady for saving my sanity. Be careful, they’re capable of bad things, protect yourself at all cost, survivors.☮️❤️‍🩹

  • @kdouglas848 says:

    They are constantly poking & jabbing you & when you tell them to cut it out / stop it & they just keep talking, belittling and degrading you… calling you crazy – it’s maddening !

    • @SherryTomlinson-r2y says:

      Yep I know they don’t back off! They constantly bait us! Are they even human ???

    • @beverlyadams7205 says:

      @@SherryTomlinson-r2yaliens in disguise

    • @morpheusmirror2857 says:

      @@SherryTomlinson-r2y No, they are not from an ontological perspective. From the perspective they are lower state meme entity that has taken over the human body at a young age by tricking the child self it will protect it when in fact it becomes the child’s greatest tormentor.

    • @BNyaB says:

      ​@@morpheusmirror2857💯💯💯

    • @cyndim8785 says:

      He is so immature nobody wants to hang out with us. He’s gotten worse as we got older. We get invites to fill what would’ve been an empty seat and to bring a gift, nobody talks to us at these events. He thinks that he is so funny joking all of the time, he’s embarrassing. Do you have friends or go out with people to listen to music or just get out to have some fun? My narc doesn’t want to do anything anymore he says “I worked all week I’m tried”. Yet he goes to the neighbors houses to hang every weekday after he gets home from work after criticizing what I cooked and never misses a weekend during hunting season. He complains about everything constantly it drives me nuts. I’m supposed to sit here and do nothing never no plans. When I confront him about it he says you got out this week when you went to the grocery store. I just got a phone call from him just now on a Friday afternoon “How about going out to McDonald’s for dinner”? He still thinks that we are broke teenagers on a budget we are 60 years old. I have to watch every dime I spend while he spends as he pleases . Instead of going out and having a Margarita he takes me to get an ice cream cone. Treats me like I’m a child.

  • @sparkygump says:

    Daddy did a wonderful job of exposing his narcissism by himself. It’s the covert ones who are hard to unmask.

  • @twovirginiacats3753 says:

    It really makes a difference when other people see them for who they really are. I was going through a tight financial time. Our son, a teen at the time, and his friend wanted to go out to eat. There was one favorite restaurant that had a half price menu during certain times. I said I thought I could swing dinner out if we just stuck to the half price menu. My narc ex was with us and overheard the entire conversation. We all ordered from the half price menu except him. He also ran up a huge liquor tab, ordering high call shots from the bar, never once offering to cover his huge bill. A lot of his personal friends were either in the restaurant or worked there. They knew my situation and observed what he had done. After that they periodically checked in with me to make sure I was doing ok. They wrote him off.

    • @denise8797 says:

      I lived something very similar with my daughter…he knew I was struggeling but ask ME to pay. And of course he choosed the most expensifmenu

    • @seasonsstarsstudios says:

      My father always orders the most expensive thing on every menu in every restaurant, then dares complain about it. Maddening. It got so bad the manager at our local Applebees will refuse to serve him.

      I wish I had the same luxury.

  • @donovangray4246 says:

    Most narcissists who are in power have enablers who don’t see it because they profit financially to remain blind to the very abuse they are experiencing.

  • @geric.5183 says:

    I have no indication that I in fact unmasked a communal malignant narcissist, but I am fairly confident that my quiet exit from a 20 year friend group led by one, is undergoing a major system change. I was the punching bag and recipient of clever exclusion tactics. I often wonder who is the new me in that group. The new me is no longer shut down for fear of a new manipulation or a crazy making tactic delivered by clueless enablers. Chefs kiss tactic, thanks

    • @WithAnEss says:

      Yes, same here.
      The malignant narcs flying monkey’s and enablers were verbally abusive towards me, and i left the group when the “leader” assaulted me, by a surprise poke from his fingers on my face (while spewing a derogatory comment).
      Divorced the man who looked up to the leader as a mentor. He said the assault was my fault.
      I was labeled everything from autistic, physically grotesque, transvestite, old, ugly, MPD, NPD and more.
      I went no contact, and saved myself from a horrendous end to a marriage.

      I do not wonder who is the new target of the group or who is the ex with now.
      I did at first, but not anymore. (2yrs later)
      Its a waste of thought energy, i refrain from dwelling on that specific group of individuals.
      My self reflection is abundantly rich with humility.
      They look into their own mirror.

      If this channel has taught me one thing, it is acceptance.

    • @lisab9597 says:

      That group is either already disintegrating or about to. They know none of their group is trustworthy. Let the flying monkeys destroy themselves. None of them have peace and are terrified of being exposed.

    • @WithAnEss says:

      ​@@lisab9597 💯

  • @Saunterisland says:

    I was able to bring in a neutral party. Actually, it was an aunt who had known my father for decades, and before I was born.
    Unbeknownst to me she had made to believe that I was a “bad apple” which she revealed during the meeting that I had arranged 😏 without consulting my parents.
    It wasn’t long before my narcissistic father began to show his inability to behave like a human being. I said something to him that made him angry and he started his game. My aunt was astonished to hear his ranting. She attempted to intervene and my father began to treat my aunt in the same manner as he treated me!
    It was finally over, and she was absolutely livid with his rude condescending, and outright mean disposition.
    They argued for a short period before my aunt said: Who the hell do you think you are …!?
    Then he saddled up his game and called my aunt a few things before she sat up and said:
    One more word out of you and you’re out of the family!
    His disposition suddenly changed to that of a child caught with his hand in the cookie jar.
    It was finally over.
    It requires a chess move that the narcissist will not see coming and someone who has known the individual for years.
    A normal person who is not intimidated easily.
    They must be willing to call the police.

    • @WithAnEss says:

      Ha! Your final sentence hit a home run!
      In fact, I did call the police. the narc, (also a PO).
      I havent a doubt his fellow badge buddies took the report and plastered it across the inner department personal social media groups.
      It’s how they get dirt on each other.
      Now the whole department knows😂he’s unhinged.

  • @noppel says:

    Great as always, thank you!
    I’m slowly realizing that there is no positive outcome. The best outcome being unmasking them, having other people realize, walking away, stop caring… even though that’s great success, it still isn’t a happy ending. Realizing that is really frustrating, painful, and difficult to accept 🙁

  • @jasondecouto says:

    Thank you so much, Dr. Ramani. I hope you realize how important your work is and how much you are supporting survivors each and every day. You are saving lives. ❤️

  • @johanna11980 says:

    After a lifetime of narcisistic behaviour, I disconnected from a sister … I was surprised at how free I felt, so much so that I ‘almost’ felt guilty, but not quite … you don’t realize how much life energy they take from you … the put-downs, devaluing, disrespect and the time, you will never get back … but it’s so important to focus on the time you now have that is yours … and always was yours, they just convinced you that your time was theirs ….

  • @RobinDuehring says:

    My parents asked me to install some Nanny/monitoring software on their home network for them years ago when my narc sister and her 4 kids were coming for a prolonged visit one Xmas. My dad was worried about the constant unsupervised computer time she’d allow her kids on his computers. The nanny/monitoring software would take screen grabs and record the websites visited, send notifications if certain programs opened ect. Turns out it was NOT the kids they needed to be worried about. She used my Dad’s computer to snoop on them, send emails, private messages and texts – EVERYTHING came out – the years of lying, gaslighting, fraud. My folks were SHOCKED! Thru her own words, actions and behavior, she totally exposed herself. Better and faster than anyone else ever could have.

  • @gracesunshine6716 says:

    my friend, your kindness in sharing how to navigate these challenges of self-centered mean spirited people helped me heal from autoimmune encephalitis, a 7 year journey. I am finally in cognitive speech therapy and can listen more often. When I hear you I think that I am not alone. Heavenly Father has blessed me through you and through the comment section. Much peace & happiness in this world with beautiful souls like you and who are also listening in. Love to you.

  • @Julie-bj9jn says:

    I have found myself stating quietly; (at times)- “There is a difference between asking a question, and making a statement.” Thank you so very much for your ongoing, great advice!

  • @SevenPlanets-ClassicSFAudioHub says:

    I remember hearing these words once. “There’s only you and me in this relationship.” I took it as meaning that anything could be done to me because there were no witnesses.

  • @Imnotyourdoormat says:

    *_Narcissists are like Prizefighters. I use that dynamite comparison analogy all the time. Heavyweight Champions of the World with a “glass jaw.” The 15-round example is great. Narcissists will often, if not always, win all 14 rounds of the bout, forgetting they can be knocked out in the 15th round and lose. No Contact is that 15th round knockout punch._*

  • @LindyLooo99 says:

    The problem for THEM is that I am DONE! Too many years of trying to make it work, I gave up. And I see them faster and disconnect at the first red flag. 🚩 it’s frustrating for them because I won’t play. Life is too short! Silence is golden! No Contact is KING…. But move along with your life and make yourself the “project” in life and recover! Pull your REAL friends close, find happiness in solitude and practice SILENCE.

  • @jodahlbeck683 says:

    I’m so sad that my narcissist still occupies space in my head rent free. Even after 6+ yrs.

  • @costelloandlizzievolk2233 says:

    Totally needed to hear this as the narcissists in my family turned their charm back on after years of unapologetically abusing us. I feel like I’m loosing my family because I can’t be around the abusive narcissists as I feel unsafe and the enablers think I’m unforgiving. Hoping their masks fall off, but don’t care anymore as I am exhausted.. Focusing on me. Thank you Dr Ramani ❤

  • @clairelamoureux4266 says:

    I’ve made myself unavailable to my hubby’s family. I had to because they would try to get his attention through me. It had to stop. Plus, I wanted them to know he’s not interested in getting back to them. Avoidance big time, and his energies are mostly on himself. I’m the only one who can get his attention when needed or wanted. I was raised by a narc, which makes my actions equal to his when necessary.

  • >