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Jonathan, you repeatedly speak down to your audience when you say things like “we always score Secure” on attachment style tests. That kind of generalization comes off as condescending. Some of us actually do score Secure, consistently, and it’s not because we’re delusional or trying to “rationalize our behaviors to feel better.”
It might help if you gave people some guidance on how to minimize self-bias when taking the test. My ex-girlfriend, who’s a psychotherapist, asked me to take it when we first started dating. I told her I usually scored mostly Secure, with a little bit of Avoidant and almost no Anxious. Her advice was simple: don’t overthink your answers. Just go with your immediate gut reaction and move on to the next question. Doing that, I scored mostly Secure again, but that’s beside the point I’m making.
Just my 2 cents, but I find those online “psychology” and “personality” quizzes to be silly at best and potentially harmful at worst. Many that I’ve encountered seem to be poorly designed, assess results in ham-fisted ways, and honestly it’s likely best to talk to a qualified person about these things rather than taking online questionnaires.
I have grown really weary of anyone, in any capacity, who wants me to start by answering any set of questions about something important rather than starting by having a conversation with me! If you are sincerely happy with how your relationships have gone so far, or have taken meaningful steps to address relational problem areas and have seen measurable improvement, then that’s great!
Brilliant ,kind man with sensitive and real information