What Narcissists Do When They Realize You Won’t Forgive Them
We're often told that forgiveness is necessary to heal, but what happens when the person who hurt you keeps repeating the same harmful behaviors? And what happens when a narcissist realizes you're not going to forgive them? Let's talk about the complicated role forgiveness plays in narcissistic relationships, and whether you really need it to move forward.
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DISCLAIMER: THIS INFORMATION IS FOR EDUCATIONAL PURPOSES ONLY AND IS NOT INTENDED TO BE A SUBSTITUTE FOR CLINICAL CARE. PLEASE CONSULT A HEALTH CARE PROVIDER FOR GUIDANCE SPECIFIC TO YOUR CASE. THIS VIDEO DISCUSSES NARCISSISM IN GENERAL.
THE VIDEO DOES NOT REFER TO ANY SPECIFIC PERSON, AND SHOULD NOT BE USED TO REFER TO ANY SPECIFIC PERSON, AS HAVING NARCISSISM. PERMISSION IS NOT GRANTED TO LINK TO OR REPOST THIS VIDEO, ESPECIALLY TO SUPPORT AN ALLEGATION THAT THE MAKERS OF THIS VIDEO BELIEVE, OR SUPPORT A CLAIM, THAT A SPECIFIC PERSON IS A NARCISSIST. THAT WOULD BE AN UNAUTHORIZED MISUSE OF THE VIDEO AND THE INFORMATION FEATURED IN IT.
Self Forgiveness .
Forgiveness does not mean reconciliation.
Right, it doesn’t necessarily mean reconciliation, for sure. I forgave my narcissistic mother who has basically ruined my life. However, I have gone no contact and will stay from now on no contact. Because at 70 years old now, she is worse than ever. She is still poisoning my life. The damage she caused before is not enough to her. She has to try and destroy the little bit of goodness that’s left in my life. She still manages to turn me as the bad one in the family and most people take her side. I can’t even have a normal healthy relationship with most of my family because of her. I forgave her to move on, but that definitely doesn’t mean I Ever accepted what she did and I will never talk to her again. These people are cancer.
@Mademoiselle-g6s” Stage 4 cancer of the soul” Sam Vaknin
Narcissists don’t want reconcilliation. They do what they do intentionally. They use people up and throw them away and move on to the next person they will exploit
@WhatHappenedInKenya not true for my experience. Reconciliation has been a tool for the narcissists in my life to try and harm me again. But no more. I won’t let them.
Yes, no forgiveness without accountability, and the accountability is something they cannot ever let in, so how can there be forgiveness? No forgiveness without accountability. It’s on them.
They don’t take accountability and they never apologized so there’s nothing to forgive I have to forgive myself for putting up with it for so long that’s even harder😊
100%! I’m working on myself to see how I chose a horror of a human being.
How can I forgive someone who doesn’t even acknowledge they did anything wrong?
I came from a very abusive family. Whenever I share any of my back story, all I hear is “Have you forgiven them?” “It’s your mother”. And on and on. Ironically while these people are such good advocates of the “You must forgive” sermon, I find they they are only really good at forgiving people for what they did to OTHER people, but not so good at forgiving the people that offend or hurt them.
There is no forgiveness when the manipulation never ends
Don’t you mean _”WON’T FORGET WHAT THEY DID”_ ? you know there is a difference.
IMO Trust, Respect and Forgiveness are things I will never again give on demand. They must be earned with actions, not just words.
Dr Ramani has inspired me to deal with my pain in a positive way… Instead of constantly ruminating I now write songs to express my emotions.
Somehow writing things down enables a release…
Now when I’m down i can just listen to a few of my songs. They don’t “fix” anything… It just make is bearable.
❤️ Dr Ramani!
I wanted change, and it never happened. So I walked away and forgave myself for not seeing their lack of respect and care for me sooner.
I will never forgive my attacker. I will never forgive the humans who told me to forgive before I could heal and have peace. This lovely lady gave me peace with her knowledge and experience.
❤ yes. You deserve healing.
I completely agree 100% with everything you have stated here. Forgiveness with a narc is allowing bad behaviour to be repeated.
I really do not have a problem by NOT forgiving the narcissistic people that tried to ruin my life. I am very happy and proud about my strength to make the most of it after I have been betrayed severely by them. My exes are gone forever now, with their shiny new supplies… good luck! But the nail to my coffin is, to my BIG regret, my narcissistic mother with severe dementia. She still tries to claim and ruin my life and relationships. It is my mother, I will care for her, she is a pathetic old lady, but I really don’t love her, nor will I forgive her. She has my pity and my humanity, and that is MORE than enough.
49 years of a horrific marriage…..evictions, going repeatedly to landlord tenant court, my husband almost going to jail for mail fraud, moving 12 times, financial ruin.
I never got an apology, no remorse, no regrets. He never changed his behavior. He had to sell soda- that was his life’s dream.
I hate him. I had no family to go to or help me. He took terrible advantage of me.
Forgiveness – not happening.
In my case, I’m apparently the person who has wronged and not worthy of being forgiven
The narcissists in my life never forgave me for leaving them. I’m ok with that. Apathy is my friend.
Forgiveness without change is permission to repeat.
I use acceptance.
I accept that they engage in this behavior.
And I accept i was fooled.
I accept the behavior will not change.
I accept I must live on without them.
As the behavior is unnacceptable to me.
I’ll never forgive him. He’s calculated! Deliberately hurting a person doesn’t deserve forgiveness.
Forgiveness and reconciliation are two very different things!
There is nothing to forgive if they’re not truly sorry for their actions.
Some things can never be forgiven.