Will Your Kids Pull Away After Divorce? What Most Divorced Dads Say
What happens between fathers and their children after divorce? This video presents findings from the father-child sub-analysis of the QoL SALAD Study—the Quality of Life Survey About Life After Divorce—a four-year observational study of 717 divorcing and divorced men conducted by Rene Garcia through Men’s Divorce Coaching.
READ THE COMPLETE QoL SALAD STUDY:
READ THE FATHER-CHILD SUBANALYSIS:
For the father-child sub-analysis, I examined 179 fathers who had been separated for at least one year. Of those fathers, 103—or approximately 58%—said their relationship with their children improved. Thirty-eight fathers, approximately 21%, said it worsened. The remaining 38 fathers, approximately 21%, said it remained unchanged or they were still unsure.
The results changed substantially depending on how the fathers were handling the divorce. Among fathers still trying to reconcile with their former spouse, only 23% reported improvement and 56% reported that their relationship with their children worsened. Among fathers who described themselves as thriving after divorce, 71% reported improvement and only 15% reported worsening.
The study also found a relationship between a father’s quality of life and his relationship with his children. Fathers who reported that their relationship with their kids worsened averaged a quality-of-life score of 56. Fathers who reported improvement averaged 66.
The QoL SALAD Study is observational and based on self-reported data. These findings identify associations and do not establish that any single behavior directly caused a father-child relationship to improve or deteriorate.
CHAPTERS
00:00 What Happens Between Fathers and Kids After Divorce?
00:52 Why Divorced Fathers Can’t Get a Straight Answer
01:28 The QoL SALAD Study of 717 Men
02:06 Two Fathers With Completely Different Outcomes
04:03 When a Father Stays Emotionally Stuck
06:19 Rebuilding Your Identity After Divorce
09:18 Bringing Your Children Into Your New Life
11:14 Defining Masculinity After Divorce
13:43 The QoL SALAD Study Results
14:16 Exercise and Quality of Life: 55 vs. 68
14:47 Father-Child Relationships and Quality of Life
16:00 What Divorced Fathers Reported
16:47 After One Year: 58% Became Closer
17:39 Trying to Reconcile vs. Thriving After Divorce
18:13 What Divorced Fathers Must Do Differently
MEN’S DIVORCE COACHING:
Researcher: Rene Garcia
Organization: Men’s Divorce Coaching
Study: Quality of Life Survey About Life After Divorce
Common name: QoL SALAD Study
Full dataset: 717 divorcing and divorced men
Father subgroup separated at least one year: 179 fathers
Research design: Observational, self-reported data
Peer reviewed: No
#DivorcedDads #DivorceForMen #QoLSALADStudy
Outstanding. My relationship really improved! Agree. I wouldn’t want to be a married dad with my kids anymore. Thank you for sharing that and I hope other men comment and stuff. Thanks for your work
Thanks Brother, I think that’s the jest of it right? I hear that a lot and couldn’t agree with you more. Feel the same way.
Did you get closer to your kids after separation, or did they pull away? Let other men know. And schedule a consult: http://www.mensdivorcecoaching.com
Preach. My relationship is eons better with my kids.
John, thank you for your comment and agree wholeheartedly. I think the big difference is that as single dads, we’re told to parent as though we’re married dads and that’s an opportunity missed because now we don’t have the husband boundary. Are you part of the FB Group? If not, it would be great to have you brother.
Thanks for this and feel the same way. To other men going through divorce, it only gets better when you let it.