Friends with Benefits Rules for Guys
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If you're navigating a friends with benefits relationship, there are certain rules you MUST follow to ensure success. If you're looking to have fun but don't want it to end in a long-term relationship follow these 12 friends with benefits rules for guys so that you have the best possible outcome.
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Are you navigating a friends with benefits situation? I would love to hear how it’s going for you…….and if you have any other rules, I’d love to hear about them below…
I was in a friends with benefits situation… met a girl, she was on vacation… stayed for a week, she left and we stayed in contact… We would to stay in the phone 📱 all the time… we would Video chat. Till we fell asleep … She came back to my city about 2x after that… once with her son… I thought it was a relationship at that point… I decided I’d go to her state… in my line of work I can move around pretty easy… I have no access to immediate family members… She agreed, so I figured… hey… what Do I have to lose… well… I moved to her state about November that year… her kid birthday was that month and it was closer to thanksgiving… got my job that weekend was working by that Monday… everything was rolling smooth… A little getting use to, but smooth… Christmas, New Years pasted smoothly… everything was ok… till one day, she just came out the blue like… I want you to leave… no argument nothing… we were actually laughing drinking that night … she was getting over a flu… it just came out of nowhere… so I’m like ok… So what are we doing, you still wanna be in a relationship?… Her response was… I doesn’t matter… if we do or don’t continue talking it don’t matter to her… so I’m like “Yikes”… I’m in a new state, seeing new faces n I don’t have anywhere to fall back since I moved from my city… Skipping a few details about trying to mend it because It didn’t work… I was told to get out by January… no pressure… I have a decent job but nowhere to go.. ended staying in hotels, holding on to my job in her city… truth is we were still messing around… she would still like pet name n visa versa.. So I was confused because it’s like we went backwards.. i had feelings for her so I my head we can’t just be friends with benefits… At that point I’ve already seen visual that she was tlking to other ppl… she would eventually tell me when I press the situation… Her responds would always be I’m single… I can do what I want… I this point we were breaking all these rules but she was talking to other ppl I wasn’t… skip a few more details including valentines… I end up getting a apartment after being basically homeless for 2moth in the middle of winter… n the day I did guess who’s back… 2 weeks later guess who’s gone again… then right as I’m about over it, I mean over like… I was talking on the phone with women n going out to activities… Don’t get me wrong, I dating has never been hard me for me… at least not getting to know a person and have a good time…That’s kinda easy no commitments n I try to keep expectations… However, as soon a I get back to me, she’s back n giving me what seems to be her full attention… She’s staying at my apartment at night, we’re probably break all the rules as I said… Now it’s like what are we going with this… her response it somewhere along the lines of, why do we have to label it… I’m with you everyday… We’re having fun… now I’m confused again honestly… coming from committed to not… it’s like I can’t help to wonder if you tlking to other people and should I be… Should I be enforcing you rules… I know some ppl would say “Hey boozoo” stop tlking to her… I just can’t seem too… 😔
That’s was a mouth full… Hope its legible…
Thanks for listening. A response would be nice…
@@fiascodon8996 Thanks for the note here. I don’t diagnose situations on comments here — but I’d encourage you to read this article and let me know which attachment style you think you have… https://www.emlovz.com/attachment-theory-and-dating/ (anxious, avoidant, or secure).
@@emlovz I think it’s a mixture between anxious and secure honestly… I grew up in a generally close household.. My mother was alway there for us n she hardly yelled and almost never swore… I still speak to her on almost a daily basis… so I don’t see it coming directly from my childhood household… this is the first relationship/situation that I’ve ever felt like this when I think about it.. So 🤷🏾♂️
@@fiascodon8996 Thank you for sharing!!!
Well, I am 34 in dc / nova area and still a virgin man 🙂, I still learn from your video!
many thanks of your advice, love you emlovz
Thank you
“Friends with benefits” is fraught with dishonesty. Do people who practice this ever communicate honestly with the other person and tell them: “your good enough to have sex with but not good enough to be in a relationship with”? Now that would be honest.
I feel like you would also lose your FWB if you did
and it would end things on the spot, most likely, even though you’re 100% correct in what you’re saying
@@emlovzi disagree with OP. There’s alot of reasons someone may want an FWB, same as there’s lots od reasons someone may want a platonic friendship.
Not every person is looking for an LTR. There’a also different standards depending on relarionship type: platonic VS fwb VS ltr VS marriage. The further you get towards marriage, the higher the standards.
You don’t have to say that. Just tell them the truth. You like them and want them in your life, but don’t feel that extra spark to chase the deep romantic connection…but you find her cool and attractive, even sexy- the whole nine, but that extra one spark is where romantic relationships live. And, If she’s down you could absolutely see something with a physical, while still deep- even if platonic- thing..because you do connect. Then just ask if it’s something she would want too, and also a good idea to let her know that you’re safe to turn down. That you have no expectations and just wanted to share your feelings/thoughts.(also mean it when you say it or don’t say it)
Also, people don’t have to be attracted to you and want to follow the rabbit down the hole to see if there’s romance… if you’re honest, it’ll always be fine. Anybody who gets pissed off about you not being attracted/interested romantically in them, isn’t worth your time anyway. Just be kind, and honest, and thoughtful about yours and her feelings, and she’ll be cool dude. We’re all Adults. Treat her like a real friend and respect her. Boom, donezo. Lol don’t overthink it or make it weird, yourself. She’ll follow your energy, whichever way.
I mean. Always be honest, just like…In general..?
Thank you for sharing this! I appreciate the conversation, because some of us don’t have people to talk about this stuff with. It helps. 😊
I’m here to support guys just like you reach their dating and interpersonal goals. If you’re ever looking for a coaching program I have a group awesome male clients you can talk to in our private group too!
@@emlovz I see you wearing a cross. You know sex outside marriage is mortal sin.
@@alordi2701 venial & mortal seems to be the same with Catholic confessional. Kill or love till death, same same! 😘😵💫😅😂🤭😇😳😬🙏🙏
I’m in a relationship at first it was hard, cause I wasn”t sure how to take it, but It took me a while, he always says we’re just friends, I would like more, but I’m not going to push it, then I”ll push him completely out of my life, but I can depend on him.
Really good I like this video and you !!
Ten minutes into a first date some years back, a girl flat out told me she didn’t think she could be into me more than friends. I was shocked by her candor, but I thought what the hell, let’s just have fun tonight and I may never see her again thereafter. We met up with my friends at a club, and we had a blast,…as friends. Our night was winding down around 2am and we stopped at a Dunkin Donuts for coffee and some bites – just we two. About an hour into some convo, she started to look at me funny. Next thing I knew, she took my hand and slid it up her lap and up under her little skirt. And no, she wasn’t drunk. Long story short, that was the beginning of our FWB relationship that lasted a little over 6 months. So guys, being friendzoned isn’t always a bad deal. And like the lady in the video says, both parties should be clear about the program. Anyway, I stopped it because I got serious with this other girl(now my wife). That ex-FWB is married too now.
Sounds like a win-win
I would be willing to bet dollars to donuts this almost NEVER happens. I’ve been in the friend zone before and this was NEVER an option.
She sounds like a s l u t
@@saxophobe I wouldn’t consider it a friendzone, as all happened within one evening. Ok, the story did not tell how it came to that date.
I hate fiction like this. All you did was pay an escort 200 bucks for one hour.
I’ve rarely had a casual relationship (ie FWB situation), but the few times I have, the women were so entitled, they STILL expected me to take them out to dinners! Also, we each cuddled each other despite knowing it was only casual. I called these situations “Glorified Booty Calls.” Oh, and one was bummed that I didn’t call her on her birthday and merely texted her on her birthday, even though she had told me she’d be busy all day hanging out with her sons and friends, so I was acting logically. I told her straight up, “We agreed upfront to only date casually, and you’re now expecting me to treat you like a girlfriend, which isn’t fair.”
@@bella300 oh I can afford plenty of dinners, and when I’m in a serious relationship (as I have been in for the past 9 months), I pay for the overwhelming majority of my dates, but I think you missed my point. My point was that a woman should not be so entitled as to expect us men to pay EVERY time we go out after the first handful of dates, and if you’re in a friends with benefits situation, then they REALLY have no business expecting you to wine and dine them, as that’s basically prostitution. I mean, you’re each getting your sexual needs met, which is the only reason you’re even having sex with this person, but one of you also scores free dinners out of it? Why is that fair? And I was also making the point that if you’re clearly only seeing each other on a CASUAL basis, then a woman really should not expect to be treated like a girlfriend (with, for example, us paying for the majority of what we do)
Thank you❤
Thank you for wht? Telling you to have so little self-control
you literally cant wait for your next Partner like Everyone Else?
You’ve helped me a lot
I’ve been in a few friends with benefits situation and the hardest part is the gym munication or understanding of how often we get together. That seems to be my biggest part. Do you not understand do you set a day? Is it every week is it every Thursday evening is it every Sunday after nine that’s and then the time in between do you communicate thank you.
I’d love for someone to make a video about FWB rules for open relationship couples.
thanks for the help
I was looking for this video. Looks like I need to go through your Youtube video archive more often. Thanks Emyli.
Thank you so much for your video. The advice here, really helped me to clear up my head!!
You’re welcome!
Stellar video.
Thank you
I would have a very difficult time pulling this off. Sexual intimacy is too powerful to wield casually. The no snuggling/ cuddling rule would be the first deal breaker. That’s the best part of sex! Thank you Emlovz. Jeffrey Z. in SC
Feel free to violate these rules, they might be worth considering but not mindlessly adhering to. Her and I, whoever she might be, do what we both want to do period. Many such situations and never explicitly talked about it before sex and not a lot after multiple encounters. One girl felt bad about “using me” which I found amusing, maybe it was because at one point I was somewhat emotionally attatched but got over that quickly for good reasons.
BTW–same rules exist for sexual attraction, if she doesn’t respect you she wont want to bang you, and so on.
Thanks so much i learn so much by watching your video.
Curious. Fwb. Is there a charge or does one charge for it. And. What is the. Rules for that or how it work?
I seen your video, it makes sense now.