Things that keep us tethered to the narcissist

Why can leaving a narcissistic relationship feel so much more complicated than it looks from the outside? In this video, Dr. Ramani introduces the idea of “tethers” and explores why feeling stuck is not always about weakness, fear, or a lack of courage.

====================

MORE FROM DR. RAMANI

ORDER MY NYT BESTSELLING BOOK 📖 "IT'S NOT YOU"

JOIN MY HEALING PROGRAM

JOIN THE DR. RAMANI NETWORK

JOIN THERAPISTS ONLY (PROGRAM FOR THERAPISTS)

VISIT MY WEBSITE

RECOMMENDED RESOURCES AND HOTLINES

====================

DISCLAIMER: THIS INFORMATION IS FOR EDUCATIONAL PURPOSES ONLY AND IS NOT INTENDED TO BE A SUBSTITUTE FOR CLINICAL CARE. PLEASE CONSULT A HEALTH CARE PROVIDER FOR GUIDANCE SPECIFIC TO YOUR CASE. THIS VIDEO DISCUSSES NARCISSISM IN GENERAL.

THE VIDEO DOES NOT REFER TO ANY SPECIFIC PERSON, AND SHOULD NOT BE USED TO REFER TO ANY SPECIFIC PERSON, AS HAVING NARCISSISM. PERMISSION IS NOT GRANTED TO LINK TO OR REPOST THIS VIDEO, ESPECIALLY TO SUPPORT AN ALLEGATION THAT THE MAKERS OF THIS VIDEO BELIEVE, OR SUPPORT A CLAIM, THAT A SPECIFIC PERSON IS A NARCISSIST. THAT WOULD BE AN UNAUTHORIZED MISUSE OF THE VIDEO AND THE INFORMATION FEATURED IN IT.

Andrew McLaurin
 

  • @carlymiller937 says:

    I just have to say your hair is looking FAB!

  • @PenninkJacob says:

    Thank you so much Dr. Ramani!!!👍❤❤❤

  • @zmesopotamia6792 says:

    No closures, trauma bond, guilt manipulation, breadcrumbing, and triangulation, are some of their strategies to keep you hooked.

  • @NicKensington says:

    Genuinely very thankful for these videos

  • @andymarko3099 says:

    Thankyou for all that you do

  • @janeylynn5934 says:

    You are right in saying that not everyone in a narcissistic relationship can just get up and leave – it’s not an option. Chronic health issues have kept me financially dependent on my narc parents and stuck living like a child in their house my entire life.

    • @ISquishWorms says:

      I just wanted to let you know that you are not alone, I am in a similar situation. I hope you can break free.

    • @janeylynn5934 says:

      @ISquishWorms It is rare to hear of someone else in a situation like mine. Thanks – I hope you can also find freedom.

  • @TracyHolton-o3i says:

    My abuse is from a cult. And I left years ago but there is still abuse (by-proxy / coercive / threats / vandalism). Leaving does not always stop abuse.

  • @SherryTomlinson-r2y says:

    Excellent idea Dr Ramani , I’m 70 years old of course I didn’t have the proper guidance. I am still cleaning up the aftermath of a nuclear war!

  • @EmoryWOCN says:

    My malignant narcissist husband died last year….praise God. 38 years and I thought it was all me. Then I began watching Dr Ramina and bought her layest book. I needed to know what was wrong so I probably watched every YouTube out there. This is what has happen to me so far… and most is because of Dr. Ramani….
    1. I have peace for the 1st time in my life
    2. My Yorkie stopped having diarrhea, from the constant ranging
    3. I now know how incredibly lucky I am to be alive; he’d get drunk and rage for hours threatening to kill me and the dog.
    4. I feel safe which i realize I’ve never felt.
    5. I can identify a narcissist within minutes. Therefore, stay far far away.
    6. My finances are finally in order. (He had 3 secret accounts which he used for porn, gambling drugs, eating and alcohol).
    All I can say is education is the key. It has been life changing for me. I have a daughter that tried to get me to watch Dr. Ramani 6 years ago, after going on a vacation with us she realized how crazy he was). Just get educated,. Do not wait until you are 70 and he has stolen everything. Get you head out of the sand.

  • @sparkygump says:

    For the first time in my life, I am finally free from ALL the narcissistic tethers holding me down. Thank you Dr. Ramani! So called friends, family, wife all gone. I may be down to my Beagle but I am finally in complete control who gets in to my life and who can just go away.

  • @cocogomez2278 says:

    Like tether ball from the 70s – a ball tethered to the pole getting punched and bounced around. Good point about which pain do you want to choose. Even if you do everything perfect for a narcissist you will still lose and the flying monkeys will still beat you up.

  • @joanharder2124 says:

    So clarifying for such a complex dynamic. With that clarification, self forgiveness. Thank you 💜

  • @annstar2793 says:

    I wish more people understood this.

  • @neptunelove8534 says:

    You are greatly appreciated Thankyou Dr R. Even without danger it still feels unsafe.

  • @KennethGreen-s5v says:

    This video came exactly on TIME!

  • @nyxcin1 says:

    In some way, I think of leaving a narcissistic relationship is akin to instructions on a preflight plane ride: put your oxygen mask on first before you attend to anyone else. It’s not a bad thing to see to your own basic survival needs. It will make you stronger in order to help others who depend on you.

    Thank you for all you do, Dr Ramani.

  • @effect7543 says:

    They say money doesn’t buy happiness. I disagree 😄 as money can be a huge factor for why people stay together.

  • @DarksideGroupie says:

    Two days ago I left with no notice from living with my vulnerable narcissistic older sister. My brother compared me to our father who SA’d me when I was 15/16. He has been her biggest enabler. I have an older brother who though he isnt mad said “you could have done that differently” I realize now I have to cut them all off. I have no parents. It was literally just us. So now Im alone. I had a choice to make. Be miserable or be free. I chose freedom.

  • @ISquishWorms says:

    If I had the finances to I would leave in a heartbeat and never look back.

  • @strongmindset78 says:

    Thank you! People “why don’t you just leave” as if I am stupid and never thought of this.

  • >