Feeling Dead Inside After Dealing With a Narcissist? THIS Is Why
Sometimes staying connected to a narcissist means constantly bracing yourself—watching what you say, holding back, and trying to avoid another blowup.
But over time, self-protection can turn into emotional shutdown. In this video, Dr. Ramani explores how to cope without letting the relationship hollow you out.
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DISCLAIMER: THIS INFORMATION IS FOR EDUCATIONAL PURPOSES ONLY AND IS NOT INTENDED TO BE A SUBSTITUTE FOR CLINICAL CARE. PLEASE CONSULT A HEALTH CARE PROVIDER FOR GUIDANCE SPECIFIC TO YOUR CASE. THIS VIDEO DISCUSSES NARCISSISM IN GENERAL.
THE VIDEO DOES NOT REFER TO ANY SPECIFIC PERSON, AND SHOULD NOT BE USED TO REFER TO ANY SPECIFIC PERSON, AS HAVING NARCISSISM. PERMISSION IS NOT GRANTED TO LINK TO OR REPOST THIS VIDEO, ESPECIALLY TO SUPPORT AN ALLEGATION THAT THE MAKERS OF THIS VIDEO BELIEVE, OR SUPPORT A CLAIM, THAT A SPECIFIC PERSON IS A NARCISSIST. THAT WOULD BE AN UNAUTHORIZED MISUSE OF THE VIDEO AND THE INFORMATION FEATURED IN IT.
Dr Ramani you have helped me so much. I have had narcissistic mobbing at my corporate job for many years. Thank you so much ☺️
Thank you so much for this information. It’s a parent and I was having a hard time choosing no contact or some kind of confusing middle ground. I didn’t understand why I was feeling extremely shut down. Thank you so much for this.
Wow…so hard. I nearly collapsed. On heels of passing of father and brother, he future faked I quit my job and I missed my window for little ones and a family together. He knew it, acknowledged it, said he knew and didn’t care – soul crushing
It is really difficult to accept how much of my life was stolen and how my suffering made absolutely no difference at all.
@marysisak2359 I understand and am deeply sympathetic. The only thing that gives me hope is my faith. I retreated to a rural area and discovered an Amish community who emphasize non-violence and forgiveness (there is a book written about it – Amish Grace), felt like I was meant to be near them to learn from them. My thoughts and prayers are with you
🙏
Absolutely 💯 I had to detatch emotionally, mentally, lost all contact with my daughter & 3 grandchildren and left a DV relationship after 2yrs. I’am an Empath waaaay to much for me! Too much mental, emotional strain very exhausting
My daughter is with a narcissist she has had me blocked for 3 years..he has turned her against us to have complete power and control over her. She is so brainwashed. And im a wreak. I pray i can be myself again
Your videos are my only source of support right now. For me, they are the next best thing to therapy, and I wouldn’t be closer to Peace and Sanity without them. Thank you, thank you, thank you and your amazing Team for everything you do for this community!
Absolutely agree. Dr. Ramani is a truth teller. I can honestly say that no one has made a bigger difference in my life than her.
@kellemarie930What you’re going through is the very definition of Devastation. All I can think to say is that your courage and self-love shine through the despair. Thank you for having the strength to reach out. Hold tenaciously to any lifeline Life throws to you, like your friend; and keep right in front of you that It’s Not You. My Dream is to start a foundation to help Survivors in your extreme circumstances. You are in our prayers and visualizations. 🙏
The attuned people are NOT easy to find. That also takes even more time & energy it might not have occurred to us in the middle of these relationships that we need.
Thank you for digging unto this more deeply, Doctor Ramani. A lot of practitioners still ignore it.
Oh. I collapsed, and they called in the vultures and threw a party. They were so pleased with themselves, congratulating themselves in some imagined conquest.
When I gave up on the connection, I got myself back. I knew that would happen. They didn’t.
I understand that whatever connection I might make by abandoning myself is not the type of connection that is capable of providing security. It is not worthwhile, to sacrifice ourselves, for others’ moods in the short term.
Anyone who would attempt to manipulate is not the sort of person we want to interact with, let alone give a chance. It is offensive that they are trying to manipulate. We need to be offended instead of flattered.
Vultures. Great analogy. I grew up in a family that can only be described as a circular firing squad. The purpose was to inflict as much damage without actually k*lling the other person. Others can join (spouses, nieces etc) but you can never leave. Kind of like the old song “Hotel California” – “You can check out anytime you like, but you can never leave.”
@marysisak2359 one family member believed in the narrative, and opted out. My awareness of that is the only reason I’m still alive, it pissed me off that they could justify feeling that much more superior to others, when those others had poured everything into attempting to appease them. They acted like the loss of life was somehow worthwhile, for _their_ pathetic existence; one in which they only destroy and feel free to mock those who create. That nasty behavior became fuel to my own self work, I don’t think they intended that. 😅
Anything you set out to achieve or do, they have to discourage you or shame you for it. To the point where you just get fed up of being accused, and you end up handing your autonomy over to them out of fear or exhaustion. And this is where they want to keep you, because it’s what gives them control.
Out of exhaustion. Control is the name of the game.
This is what I am so desperately struggling with. I cannot reconcile how empty my mind is and I can’t hear my own inner voice.
I am currently working to get myself out of the collapsed state. I got to the point that I was not caring for myself at all, and this has now led to health issues, which of course has made things more difficult. Thank you for your videos, they have really helped, and thank you for building such an amazing community for survivors!
They kill you slowly.🔥
😂
Reading all these comments is heartbreaking. I see myself in so many of them. So much wasted time and useless pain.
After I left my Narc Ex, it wasn’t until about a Month down the line where I started to collapse. At first the relief of walking out felt like a weight off my shoulder, but then the Void loomed up at me and I was at a loss as to who I felt I was, what to do with myself and things to liked to do. I would say I’ve evened out now and have good and bad days, but I’m at least able to bring myself round fairly quickly and enjoy my time staying single. Fir now. 🍒
I completely agree with this video except that I’ve collapsed. I’ve become completely numb. I don’t communicate with friends and family like I used to, and I’ve been in this narcissistic relationship for almost 18 years. I didn’t even know I was in an abusive relationship until three years ago, and that was discovered working with a therapist. By that time, the damage was already severely done. The abuse has now escalated pass just emotional. I know I need to leave for the sake of my kids, but I’m so fearful to do so. 😔
I so appreciate Dr. Ramani’s work! Now, I know these are on an individual psychological level, but what happens when it seems as though entire nations are narcissistic? And then you get masses of people within those societies feeling numb and shut-down … with collapse, soul deadening and extreme apathy?!?! And we can’t escape or leave? I don’t know how to navigate my feelings around this.
this is the talk I have been waiting for, thank you Dr. Ramani
I’m 58 years old I have multiple sclerosis so I can’t work or take care of myself. My wife was raised by covert narcissist Mom and enabling narcissist dad she’s very liberal and feminist minded I find myself just going with the flow and biting my tongue if I wanna survive because I can’t leave your videos have helped me tremendously also Jerry Wise videos help me understand what’s going on
Your content literally saved my life, and continues to help me as a prepare to fully escape my family. Thank you.
Right There- Your Not Crazy Your Being Harmed. ✔️
You are crazy
@Sniperfromtheside I have my moments you want to met up some place.. where do you live..
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That ‘dead’ feeling is often just the exhaustion of a younger part of our psyche that has surrendered to the illusion of the narcissist’s power. But it is an illusion. Narcissists are terrifying only until you realize they are untethered. They have no internal anchor to any deeper consciousness or truth, which is why they must operate as parasites, feeding off those who do. They are fundamentally helpless. We are the ones connected to something greater. Staying aware of that connection—especially when the trauma tries to pull you back into the dark—is the hardest, but most important work we can do.❤