The Shocking Psychology of the Narcissistic Discard
Being discarded by a narcissist can leave you with a kind of heartbreak that defies explanation. But what if the most painful part isn't actually the breakup itself? In this video, Dr. Ramani explores what makes narcissistic discard so uniquely devastating and why moving on isn't as simple as it seems.
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DISCLAIMER: THIS INFORMATION IS FOR EDUCATIONAL PURPOSES ONLY AND IS NOT INTENDED TO BE A SUBSTITUTE FOR CLINICAL CARE. PLEASE CONSULT A HEALTH CARE PROVIDER FOR GUIDANCE SPECIFIC TO YOUR CASE. THIS VIDEO DISCUSSES NARCISSISM IN GENERAL.
THE VIDEO DOES NOT REFER TO ANY SPECIFIC PERSON, AND SHOULD NOT BE USED TO REFER TO ANY SPECIFIC PERSON, AS HAVING NARCISSISM. PERMISSION IS NOT GRANTED TO LINK TO OR REPOST THIS VIDEO, ESPECIALLY TO SUPPORT AN ALLEGATION THAT THE MAKERS OF THIS VIDEO BELIEVE, OR SUPPORT A CLAIM, THAT A SPECIFIC PERSON IS A NARCISSIST. THAT WOULD BE AN UNAUTHORIZED MISUSE OF THE VIDEO AND THE INFORMATION FEATURED IN IT.
You have no idea how you’ve helped me the past 4 years. Thank You!❤
Same for me! It will be 4 years next March. Dr. Ramini helped me save myself ❤❤❤❤❤
Same
Lack of closure, smear campaign, devaluation, withdrawal of attachment, and attempts to erase you as you never existed in their life. With all of that, you are left to face a deep psychological deletion!
And attempt to destroy you if you not dancing how they play. Or not attempt….
It’s such a long back to yourself or new self. Four years and counting.
@Ann-j8e2k I spent the first two years separating myself from my family through therapy and journaling. I’m still not all that happy with my life, and Im realizing it’s because I need to work on my relationship with myself. I thought I was doing that at the same time, but I was just finding the vocabulary, like an toddler.
I still hurt myself with old habits that die hard, and that lessens the respect I have for myself. Some days, what I need to do to continue my self-individuation seems like so much work and I think, what’s the point?
Im really starting to think i may need some outside help. Can one pray away a chemical imbalance? I may need Kaiser for help on that one…
Yes, & I still haven’t found any solution to deal with that, & it’s so frustrating & painful. The narcissist does win, in many senses of the term, & the victims *do* lose; they lose reputations, countless friends & family & more. 💔
This brilliant lady has helped me ALOT & I’ve passed on her channel to those I CARE ABOUT. Thank you Dr. Ramani !
I’ve told so many people about Dr Ramani. When I meet someone that has experienced a narcissistic relationship. I suggest they watch her channel .
I did too, and they already knew about her ❤️
❤ same
Your work and competence is the path for concious way to live our lives in a healthy way. Thank you so much❤️🙏🏻
For me, the devaluation had been going on for nine months – mocking me, gaslighting, attitude of superiority and contempt toward me, then disappearing overnight to “Go visit a friend” (Her “friend’s” name was Andrew I found out later). But I knew the discard was coming when she told me that she was moving to another state because “There are no good jobs here, and I always wanted to visit Chicago.” This was barely a year after we had married! When she did leave, I filed for a divorce.
Oh my gosh! I just realized that the trend of family estrangement is often based on a literal narcissistic discard! Wow, this hits deep. Narcs are destroying families in a big way. I am gobsmacked! 😮
Absolutely true, and I also dare to wonder if it is related to the epidemic of deaths of despair (overdose, suicide ). , and even the increase in near death experiences because they all came together perfectly in my unbelievable but true life story .
My ex is upping his game. Now he’s targeting younger, more financially well-to-do divorcees by claiming to build million dollar homes (he’s a painter and minor carpenter who just recently got hired and is on the verge of quitting because he’s not being “validated” by his superiors.) He claims he has two cars, but he just totaled one, so he’s down to one and his Mommy bought that and is paying his utilities so he can use his money for weed. His grandiose persona is new. He’s always played the victim before. He even said he was single and loving his independence even though we’ve been “working things out”. He can’t be alone, how can he claim he loves his “independence” if he’s dependent on exploitation. I told him he’s always been single. I was the only one in the relationship. Needless to say, I’m no longer “working things out” with him. Now I know what I don’t want anymore.
Thank you for all of the invaluable information.
Wow Dr. Ramani you never cease to amaze. How deeply you understand narcissism makes the difference. This video… If it weren’t for You and Dr. Carter over these years I can’t fathom where I’d be. Do you know there actually is a broken heart syndrome Takotsubo cardiomyopathy (broken heart syndrome).
Thank 🌹 you ❤️ you.
Final discard is in the hands of the healthy person, not the narcissist.
Don’t wait for the narcissist to finally let go; kick the narcissistic parasite to the curb the second you realize that’s what you’re dealing with.
THIS is why every child in America should be taught about narcissists and personality disordered people (age appropriately, of course) beginning at the fourth grade.
32:12 “Everyone will ultimately get burned (by the narcissists). I’m compelled to disagree with this one.
Countless otherwise innocent people get lied to *& believe* narcissists, particularly the covert ones, & never know the truth. In essence, the narcissists *do* win, & they are absolutely *not* always exposed outright at all. 💔
Yes, most of them, I think, live quite well. There are millions of great people that they victimized that die broke and alone, alienated, what the narc deserves but what their victims get instead. However, I think of this ‘bad societal behavior’ as like invisible quicksand: Some get out, but many don’t know they are even caught. We need to get people out that we can, post ‘Danger’ signs.
I’m so happy I got out years and years ago, but it was only about 5 years ago that I understood I had survived narcissistic abuse, thanks in great part to this channel. What I’ve learned (here and through other resources) has allowed me to heal so, so much. Thank you, Dr. Ramani.🌼🌼🌼 (giving you your flowers)🌞
I found the ick list strategy helpful; especially when experiencing euphoric recall.
Diminishing someone’s feelings or denying them for what they are sounds like DARVO all over again.
That’s why people feel like they’re going crazy.
After feeling used and abused and betrayed by 1 person . Listening to people Diminishing Ones Feelings just piles the used abused and betrayed feelings times ( at the time infinity)
All it takes is 1 person to say, ” That doesn’t sound right,don’t listen to those betrayers. They clearly don’t care about you.” And the snowball bigger than your house suddenly gets less than the size of a ping pong ball. You’re not crazy. The people sticking up for the toxic betrayers are blind or just as toxic and deserve your absence.
Funny how they all start missing you . Let them.
19:53 healing from heartbreak
I’m in the discard phase, never dealt with much drama, confusion
I watched this and felt sick because it was my exact story 🤯 i was thrown away like nothing and couldnt sleep for weeks, thankfully a friend told me to read The Unexplored Within author Owen Calder, it showed me how to untangle the deep blocks that kept me hooked, now i sleep peacefully and i stopped checking their socials, worth it, this is a hidden gem i swear )
Getting discarded felt like the end of the world for me 😶 but looking back it was the best thing that happened, i found all the right guidance in a book called The Unexplored Within by Owen Calder, it explained why i kept attracting narcissists and how to heal the childhood patterns behind it, now i walk away without chasing closure and my anxiety is basically gone, my favourite one, everyone needs to check this out
This kind of heartbreak can also come from people that were your platonic “best best” friend for almost 20 years…