Why Toxic Relationships Can Feel Like Home
The stories we learn about love, family, loyalty, and self-worth can shape far more than we realize. In this workshop from The Healing Program vault, Dr. Ramani explores how old narratives can keep us stuck in narcissistic relationships, make unhealthy dynamics feel familiar, and make it harder to trust what we are seeing. She also breaks down how to challenge these scripts, reconnect with your authentic self, and begin rewriting the story you want to carry forward.
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DISCLAIMER: THIS INFORMATION IS FOR EDUCATIONAL PURPOSES ONLY AND IS NOT INTENDED TO BE A SUBSTITUTE FOR CLINICAL CARE. PLEASE CONSULT A HEALTH CARE PROVIDER FOR GUIDANCE SPECIFIC TO YOUR CASE. THIS VIDEO DISCUSSES NARCISSISM IN GENERAL.
THE VIDEO DOES NOT REFER TO ANY SPECIFIC PERSON, AND SHOULD NOT BE USED TO REFER TO ANY SPECIFIC PERSON, AS HAVING NARCISSISM. PERMISSION IS NOT GRANTED TO LINK TO OR REPOST THIS VIDEO, ESPECIALLY TO SUPPORT AN ALLEGATION THAT THE MAKERS OF THIS VIDEO BELIEVE, OR SUPPORT A CLAIM, THAT A SPECIFIC PERSON IS A NARCISSIST. THAT WOULD BE AN UNAUTHORIZED MISUSE OF THE VIDEO AND THE INFORMATION FEATURED IN IT.
Narcissistic abuse is a clinical term and a legal term and a survivor community’s term. I will not allow any expert definitions or criteria to dismiss and gaslight my self-authority. For the first half of my life I gave all I could and all I had and all I was, and it was never enough. That internalization crushed half my natural lifespan, including many ways I found to punish myself for my own existence. My truth about the abuse comes from knowing the years of healing work I needed to do.
P.S. More deflections, more abuse:
Some people are not impacted by these projections. Am I too sensitive? No. It’s a nervous system response.
The narcisssist is nice to other people. Am I triggering their defenses? No. It’s their personality split.
Stand tall and grow in the light of your lived experience.
❤
CT? Wow. Small world! That’s where I grew up.
Pessimist… Hmmm, narcissists like to present the people who test them, in negative light.
I hated my father unknowingly to even myself. Wishing he’d just disappear. Yes , I was never good enough even called worthless. Well go figure about all my relationships have been low level narcissistic. Because of course I was never secure. Real connection was dangerous.. the narcissist was chaotic and fun. Which missed any real depth. I was use to this. I had a few real relationships maybe one lol .. and here I still get angry when I hook up to another who is toxic but no necessarily narcissistic. This is something else. Just wish i could remove the hatred I still feel towards my dead father. Yes it’s grief. .. very difficult when born into it. The past was what it was. What he did I should quit carrying it on my shoulders.. hatred is useless trying to steer in better directions. Well on a positive note my last friend was just toxic not a narcissist. Well that’s a beginning ! I mean really.. it actually is .. it’s soo hard ! One step at a time
As much as I am filled with hatred towards the narcissists/abusers, I am filled with 1,000 times as much hatred towards the enablers… thx ❤👍
Thankyou!
❤👍👍👍
56:19 The narcs I grew up with definitely have a narrative! They have a caricature of who I am, they have a caricature of who I should be, and they keep trying to jam the real me into that caricature…. It took me a few decades, but once I saw it I can’t unsee it.
Please do bring out a collection of anonymised “oooh look at the narc getting it back” stories . I can see how that would get you to a place of having a great night of peaceful sleep. Please? Oo
No no! I love The Red Shoes, since I read Clarissa Pinkola Estes’ read of it. The girl makes her own red shoes when she lives alone in the forest. A rich old lady adopts her and says she must get rid of those disgusting red shoes. The girl misses the one thing in life that represented her creativity and agency, so she seeks a replacement. But her store-bought red shoes own her, not the other way around. CPE sees the store-bought red shoes as an ersatz replacement for the girl’s creativity and wildness, both of which she traded for financial security. The way to stay whole would be to leave the rich (narcissistic?) old lady and return to the woods. But she tried to find joy in a secure but joyless situation. The store-bought red shoes are like drugs or sex or shopping — a shallow replacement of genuine joy that leaves us hobbled in the end.
This is really helpful❤❤❤ thank you❤❤
Bad things happen to good people is the truest thing, the world is ran and destroyed by narc billionaires who get whatever they want
God bless you Dr. Ramani
Dr. Ramani, first of all you are truly beautiful. That is a fact ,not an opinion. I want to hug little Ramani with her beautiful brown skin and little glasses and I wish I was your friend when we were kids so I could stand up to your bullies because I couldn’t stand up for mine either. Thank you for sharing that. It helped me look back at my little self with my buck teeth and horrible hair cut with love and tenderness. You are a remarkable lady.
Absolutely wonderful. Thank you
wow.. this was great.. what is my story? i get to choose how it ends? how do i want it to end?
Bad wouldn’t be “Bad” if it only happened to supposedly “Bad people”.
You not attractive as a kid? I think some supermodels might not have been attractive as children. Megyn Kelly says she was an unattractive child and now she is gorgeous. Ramani is a total beauty if you ask me.
This is so helpful and informative!! Thank you for sharing your knowledge and wisdom with us